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Old 02-26-2009, 06:55 AM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
973 posts, read 2,972,036 times
Reputation: 1236

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Okay, this is a little rant in addition to a question for others.

My family isn't close by any stretch of the imagination. Age differences, distance and general personality differences are just a start.

My mother regularly rages at me and others in the family because we are so distant with each other. I understand her feelings on this because she wants us to be close to each other and be a support system but after all this time, I am the only one besides my parents who has put forth the effort.

I care about my siblings but I am just plain tired of trying to have a close relationship with others who can't even be bothered to call, e-mail, send a Christmas card, visit or extend basic empathy during a difficult time. I've done all these things but I just feel that since these family members can't extend the same courtesy, I'll just stop wasting my time with them. Simply put, their lack of reciprocation has hurt my feelings for many years. Recently, I elected to just go about my life and if these folks want to talk, they can put forth the effort for a change.

Now, my eldest brother who is barely more than a stranger, has been diagnosed with cancer. I am concerned but this guy has never attempted any form of closeness so my concern only extends so far. This is the same guy who can't manage to write down my phone number, address, e-mail, etc... Mom rages that I am cold and uncaring. I see my concern as the same as it would be for any other stranger. I care, but I'm not up in arms over it. It's sad but what am I supposed to do when others want to remain distant?

I'm just tired of my family. Mom is a drama queen who demands that we all dance to her tune or face her wrath. My sibs are perfectly happy staying in their own part of the country and not calling, visiting, e-mailing or otherwise acting like they care. I'm tired of trying only to be shot down regardless of what I do. I would like a close, loving family but it would require others to step up and contribute some effort.

Tell me about your crazy-making family members so I can feel better about my own dysfunctional one.
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Old 02-26-2009, 07:10 AM
 
Location: Fiji
647 posts, read 1,850,912 times
Reputation: 418
I get a little frustrated with my family at times, especially my two younger brothers. It's always up to me to call THEM, email THEM, etc....if I don't do it, I would go for months and not hear a word from either of them.

Lately, I haven't called, emailed or anything and, just last night my mom tells me that my brothers are wondering about me, why they haven't heard from me, etc....

Isn't it a two way street?
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Old 02-26-2009, 07:15 AM
 
Location: in purgurtory in London
3,721 posts, read 3,489,787 times
Reputation: 1292
Bad question to ask me right now.
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Old 02-26-2009, 07:20 AM
 
Location: Fiji
647 posts, read 1,850,912 times
Reputation: 418
Quote:
Originally Posted by gizmobizmo View Post
Tell me about your crazy-making family members so I can feel better about my own dysfunctional one.
Do you want to know if we're just fed up or if our families belong an episode of Jerry Springer?
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Old 02-26-2009, 07:20 AM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
973 posts, read 2,972,036 times
Reputation: 1236
Quote:
Originally Posted by heatwave13 View Post
I get a little frustrated with my family at times, especially my two younger brothers. It's always up to me to call THEM, email THEM, etc....if I don't do it, I would go for months and not hear a word from either of them.

Lately, I haven't called, emailed or anything and, just last night my mom tells me that my brothers are wondering about me, why they haven't heard from me, etc....

Isn't it a two way street?
I used this same argument w/ my mother yesterday. I asked if all roads, phone and Internet lines only led away from Charlotte, not to it. That didn't go well.
It's very frustrating to get beat over the head by someone who fails to notice your own efforts to date.
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Old 02-26-2009, 07:27 AM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
973 posts, read 2,972,036 times
Reputation: 1236
Quote:
Originally Posted by heatwave13 View Post
Do you want to know if we're just fed up or if our families belong an episode of Jerry Springer?
Either one would probably make me feel better about my own circumstances right now!
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Old 02-26-2009, 07:34 AM
 
Location: Incognito
7,005 posts, read 18,624,192 times
Reputation: 5464
I have lived away from my family since early adulthood so nobody got the chance to get on my nerves.
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Old 02-26-2009, 07:38 AM
 
Location: syracuse ny
2,412 posts, read 4,517,361 times
Reputation: 2034
My grand parents didn't have kids, they raised a work force. Then when they achieved a certain goal, they set out to create one golden child. Acting as if only that child mattered. What a train wreck of a family!
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Old 02-26-2009, 08:40 AM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
973 posts, read 2,972,036 times
Reputation: 1236
Quote:
Originally Posted by optiflex View Post
My grand parents didn't have kids, they raised a work force. Then when they achieved a certain goal, they set out to create one golden child. Acting as if only that child mattered. What a train wreck of a family!
Yes, there is a "Golden Child" in our family also. He does no wrong and the rest of us are a disappointment.
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Old 02-26-2009, 08:45 AM
 
Location: Houston, TX
17,032 posts, read 26,866,938 times
Reputation: 16189
I moved away 20 years ago, and have done allright putting myself through college and buying a house. But I have a sibling who went to multiple colleges on dads dime, continues to turn to the bank of dad whenever she runs into a money problem. Sad thing is she is 40, married, no kids, no health issues. Just refuses to budget or think ahead about finances. Had father co-sign a car loan for her but she defaulted on payments...while taking a trip to Europe...sad thing is dad retired from a government job, and has an ex-wife so its not like he rolls in cash. (Her hubby was divorced once so his credit is not ideal). Another case where I wonder if it would help to smack some sense into her. I doubt it would work.
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