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Old 02-28-2009, 09:04 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,105 posts, read 34,558,425 times
Reputation: 16155

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I recommend to stop disliking your boyfriend's friend. Treat him like the rest of your boyfriend's buddies, and when he's around, hang out with your own friends instead. I think that it's healthy to have some friends that you keep separate from your s/o anyway. My boyfriend has a couple of friends that he goes to do stuff with and I don't hang out with. Even though my boyfriend and I enjoy doing many of the same things, the time apart gives us more things to talk about later on together. No biggie and I like my own space.

Just because you're in a serious long term relationship, is no reason to become a set of Siamese twins with the person you're in love with.
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Old 02-28-2009, 09:08 PM
 
Location: los angeles, ca
318 posts, read 735,457 times
Reputation: 189
I would go and try to have fun. You're not going to like every single person who comes into your SO's life and vice versa, but it's safe not to jump to any conclusions unless he does something outright disrespectful.
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Old 03-01-2009, 05:35 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
1,461 posts, read 4,230,547 times
Reputation: 1649
Default Dislike BF's Friend

This was such a tangled up post had to read it a couple of times but I do get it. When I was much younger, my ex had these wretched friends I really did not like. We had a young child at the time and the behavior around my child was just not acceptable. No matter what I said or did to try to make my ex see that these were not the best people in the world for him or for our child, he continued to see them. The more I said the more he leaned towards them...it was just the way he was. You are correct, you shouldn't try to pick and choose his friends for him and in the same sense, I think your BF needs to make his friend understand that he loves you and wants to be with you so his friend will also have to accept that aspect of it. My ex husband NEVER told his friends that they had to respect me and understand that he had chosen to be with me. Obviously he wasn't so sure of that fact because we are now not together which is a GOOD THING.

This whole Boyfriend, Best Friend scenario goes on all the time. It is not up to you to get control over it it is up to your boyfriend to let his friend know where you fit into his life and the friend needs to respect that.

Good luck...relax and enjoy being young and figuring out all the twists and turns your life will take. Hopefully this will be the most serious thing you will endure in your life as I know things could be so very much worse.
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