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Old 03-16-2009, 05:28 PM
 
4 posts, read 30,310 times
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Have you been betrayed by a friend? Are you as easy to befriend as you once were? Are you stand-offish or just plain unintrested in new friends? I have had a couple of close/longtime friendships to end for one reason or the other. I find myself really reluctant to begin new friendships now. I have become a loner. Can you give me some stories pertaining to this matter?

Last edited by SashaFierce; 03-16-2009 at 05:30 PM.. Reason: Punctuation
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Old 03-16-2009, 09:03 PM
 
12,120 posts, read 28,537,570 times
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Default Yes I can relate

About 6 weeks ago i posted something called "former friend a narcissist" on this board, go back to that thread and the stories are all there. It was a truly awful 'friendship", and i don't know why i let it drag on for 4 years.
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Old 03-17-2009, 09:29 PM
 
Location: Atlanta, GA
320 posts, read 460,674 times
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I have just unofficially ended a 2-3 yr friendship. I will still hang out w. her until she moves but she was never truly my friend, i was hers. I have a tenedency to be really nice, and users tend to find me a take all that I am willing to give. I knew her before but we werent friends. Then she moved to my city and we became friends. I knew there was a reason I wasn't friends with her before. This reminds me of a friend in college who I was really close to then POOF! it disappeared. I have one real BFF and thats all Im going to stick with. I will not open myself to this madness again Even though it just sneaks up one you. I'm all for staying to yourself to avoid heartache, drama, irritation, frustration, etc.
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Old 03-17-2009, 09:30 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,647 posts, read 74,595,623 times
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yes i have.
that is why vernon always told me
huck just because you are paranoid doesn't mean they are not out to get you.
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Old 03-17-2009, 09:45 PM
 
Location: In a delirium
2,588 posts, read 4,943,191 times
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I've been betrayed by a couple of friends before. I've also had very close friendships end on ugly notes. I don't really want to go into details - they're long stories of really no interest to anyone but myself. Honestly, they're long and/or filled with 20-year-old angst, so I don't care to write about them in this forum.

Anyway, I can't say that my soured friendships noticeably affect my current ones. I still have some really close friends and I trust them. I'd rather trust than not trust, because having close friendships is something I, quite honestly, crave. I'll risk being betrayed or hurt, because the alternative is isolation and loneliness.
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Old 03-17-2009, 09:54 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, Texas
1,692 posts, read 3,422,654 times
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never been betrayed by a friend that I can think of, yet who knows maybe I never knew about it.

My type of friends have changed over the years as I get older. Mostly due to the fact they got married had kids etc. I got married, divorced, no kids and am now single again. My lifestyle right now is not right for attracting new friends. I work, so I have my friends at work, I take care of my parents, I have thier friends who like me and call me daughter, I have my social friends for whom I can travel with when money and time permits. All in all I have less then 10 friends I really keep tabs on. One friend since high school and her family.
Friends and our need for them change. I can go days or weeks without talking to one. Heck I even have old boyfriends who contact me once in a blue moon. I tend to be more of a looner but I normally know people or they know me where ever I go. I guess I am lucky that way.
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Old 03-18-2009, 06:25 AM
 
12,120 posts, read 28,537,570 times
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Default i've found

that there are many factors that can make one think they have a solid friendship with someone when really it's just one or two factors like being the same ethnic background or that person was in the same school as you. And then you find out differently when the friend suddenly displays an ambitious/competitive streak(which shows you up as LESS ambitious and compteitive than they) that he didn't show when you first met him, and you wonder why he didn't show that when you first met. had he shown that when you first met you would have saved yourself some trouble down the road. it's a creepy feeling wondering why someone acted as if they were just like you(modest, non-competitive, humble) and then overnight they just change into something that is your total opposite.

the only good thing about it is that it's a good learning experience for future friendships but it makes you regret ever getting to know the person in the first place
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Old 03-18-2009, 09:46 AM
 
Location: Washington, DC & New York
10,830 posts, read 26,410,486 times
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There have been periods where I have felt as though I had just walked into the Roman Senate afew minutes late and asked what everyone was doing with unsheathed daggers and why Julius was on the floor. Interestingly, the most betrayals I have had were with work friends, though there have been personal friends who have also behaved similarly.

I refuse to change in light of such betrayals, however, I may have to properly vet a potential friendship more judiciously in some circumstances. It is disappointing when one does not live up to the expectation of the friendship, but then I find that those who know me can distinguish between the ramblings of a lunatic and what I would or would not have said/done. Thus, when the betrayals happened and someone tried to spread their toxic thoughts, my real friends knew where to distringuish between reality and fiction.

While I have not become a loaner, I am more critical in the traits that I notice as to whether or not someone can become a close friend. At the same time, I retain my optimism that is rooted in the fundamental aspect of the uniqueness of each individual, so I am likely to give someone the benefit of the doubt until such time as they may show themselves to be unworthy of my time/effort. It's never good to shut oneself off from past relationships, no matter how the sting may have conditioned you to be that way.

It may not be the easiest decision to accept new friends, but the rewards outstrip the risk in many cases, so it's always worth it to try, but look to the type of person that you're attracting to be sure that they're the best for you.
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Old 06-10-2009, 11:03 AM
 
2 posts, read 6,559 times
Reputation: 15
I've been betrayed by many people in my life this is why i don't trust anyone. I hate losing friends over bull****. IT'S BEST TO STAY ALONE. I HAVE TO. IT HURTS ME EVERY SINGLE DAY. LIFE GOES ON SO I GUESS I HAVE TO MOVE ON.

Last edited by Nicole Howard; 06-10-2009 at 11:05 AM.. Reason: I HAD TO FIX SOME THINGS
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Old 06-10-2009, 11:07 AM
 
2 posts, read 6,559 times
Reputation: 15
Thumbs up Read what i have to say

Quote:
Originally Posted by bmwguydc View Post
there have been periods where i have felt as though i had just walked into the roman senate afew minutes late and asked what everyone was doing with unsheathed daggers and why julius was on the floor. Interestingly, the most betrayals i have had were with work friends, though there have been personal friends who have also behaved similarly.

I refuse to change in light of such betrayals, however, i may have to properly vet a potential friendship more judiciously in some circumstances. It is disappointing when one does not live up to the expectation of the friendship, but then i find that those who know me can distinguish between the ramblings of a lunatic and what i would or would not have said/done. Thus, when the betrayals happened and someone tried to spread their toxic thoughts, my real friends knew where to distringuish between reality and fiction.

While i have not become a loaner, i am more critical in the traits that i notice as to whether or not someone can become a close friend. At the same time, i retain my optimism that is rooted in the fundamental aspect of the uniqueness of each individual, so i am likely to give someone the benefit of the doubt until such time as they may show themselves to be unworthy of my time/effort. It's never good to shut oneself off from past relationships, no matter how the sting may have conditioned you to be that way.

It may not be the easiest decision to accept new friends, but the rewards outstrip the risk in many cases, so it's always worth it to try, but look to the type of person that you're attracting to be sure that they're the best for you.
"never let the worst get the best of you"
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