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Does anybody know people or a person that will take words out of context or take something you said and use it against you at a later time? Then it leaves you just standing there pondering and feeling attacked.
What do you think of people who do that? Why do they do that?
I've met a handful of people that do this. I'm being as nice and sincere as possible about whatever random interaction then out of nowhere they will use something I said to another person at a prior time against me to contradict me or they will use my own words against me by taking it out of context, changing the tone, and seem to be grinding an ax. Other people will use my disagreements or criticism of another against me at a later time.
argh, all I can say is how frustrating that is.
If somebody has a problem I'd rather them discuss it, than use my words against me to harm me or guilt trip me. That is my opinion.
I know a couple people like you describe.
Dealing with them is like frenching a Hoover. They suck the life out of you.
The best thing is to avoid them but if that isn't possible, keep the conversation light and benign. With folks like this, every word that tumbles from your mouth is picked up, weighed and pocketed to use as ammunition at a later date.
Does anybody know people or a person that will take words out of context or take something you said and use it against you at a later time? Then it leaves you just standing there pondering and feeling attacked.
What do you think of people who do that? Why do they do that?
I've met a handful of people that do this. I'm being as nice and sincere as possible about whatever random interaction then out of nowhere they will use something I said to another person at a prior time against me to contradict me or they will use my own words against me by taking it out of context, changing the tone, and seem to be grinding an ax. Other people will use my disagreements or criticism of another against me at a later time.
argh, all I can say is how frustrating that is.
If somebody has a problem I'd rather them discuss it, than use my words against me to harm me or guilt trip me. That is my opinion.
Out in the dating world I discovered Guys would twist anything I said around to make me look bad to women they were interested in. This happens ALL THE TIME gender-gender from what I've gathered. We're all just a bunch of backstabbing primates all looking to move our genes on!!
Out in the dating world I discovered Guys would twist anything I said around to make me look bad to women they were interested in. This happens ALL THE TIME gender-gender from what I've gathered. We're all just a bunch of backstabbing primates all looking to move our genes on!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Jack22
Here is the correct formula:
manipulation + emotional problem = severe mind games
Quote:
Originally Posted by gizmobizmo
I know a couple people like you describe.
Dealing with them is like frenching a Hoover. They suck the life out of you.
The best thing is to avoid them but if that isn't possible, keep the conversation light and benign. With folks like this, every word that tumbles from your mouth is picked up, weighed and pocketed to use as ammunition at a later date.
I am one of these people you are describing . But what if that's the only way you can defend yourself ? When your actions are different from your words ,you just can't deals. You go by people's actions right ? Well then why aren't your words the same ?? Model the behavior you want . But really I want to know . I don't like to be this way but like I said it's the only way .
It's passive aggressive for a person to do this. They might justify it by saying they're "playing the devil's advocate" or whatever their rationale, but basically, they're not on your side and are refusing to see where you're coming from. This sometimes can be because they are incapable of understanding and it's just easier to blow it (and you) off. Sometimes they're just mean people--immature bullies. Sometimes it works to say "Wow. I can see you really don't know me. I'd never say something like that to you." Turn your back and walk away.
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