U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-24-2009, 06:41 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 33,126,258 times
Reputation: 6678
Default People who use your words against you?

Does anybody know people or a person that will take words out of context or take something you said and use it against you at a later time? Then it leaves you just standing there pondering and feeling attacked.

What do you think of people who do that? Why do they do that?

I've met a handful of people that do this. I'm being as nice and sincere as possible about whatever random interaction then out of nowhere they will use something I said to another person at a prior time against me to contradict me or they will use my own words against me by taking it out of context, changing the tone, and seem to be grinding an ax. Other people will use my disagreements or criticism of another against me at a later time.

argh, all I can say is how frustrating that is.

If somebody has a problem I'd rather them discuss it, than use my words against me to harm me or guilt trip me. That is my opinion.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-24-2009, 06:47 PM
 
Location: CITY OF ANGELS AND CONSTANT DANGER
5,404 posts, read 7,691,574 times
Reputation: 2163
welcome to CD!!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-24-2009, 06:48 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 33,126,258 times
Reputation: 6678
I meant in real life, however, I've noticed that few older adults do this. It is mostly with people in their twenties. I don't encounter this anymore since I moved. Thank Jesus.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-24-2009, 06:49 PM
 
Location: In my skin
8,032 posts, read 8,783,450 times
Reputation: 7871
Manipulators, emotional vampires. Misery loves company. I'll try to clarify myself for a bit, but when they continue to assert something I know I didn't do/say, I let them "win". These are people I won't keep around long enough to worry what they think of me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-24-2009, 06:51 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 33,126,258 times
Reputation: 6678
It does feel like they are sucking the lifeforce out of me...ugggh.

I'm not dealing with this now. I'm just having memories of it and wondering what the heck was up their keester.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
Manipulators, emotional vampires. Misery loves company. I'll try to clarify myself for a bit, but when they continue to assert something I know I didn't do/say, I let them "win". These are people I won't keep around long enough to worry what they think of me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-24-2009, 06:53 PM
 
9,925 posts, read 8,606,190 times
Reputation: 7157
Well not to start a flame war here artsy but I feel that you have done that with my comments to such an extent I find it easier to leave you alone. I guess all you can do is admit that you just don't "get" someone and move on. Duking it out doesn't seem to solve anything.

Maybe they're just not the people for you?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-24-2009, 06:54 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,593 posts, read 21,902,161 times
Reputation: 6050
I totally agree with you there Artsy. I had my birth Mother do this too me AND I also had a neighbor do this too me. My neighbor saw my reaction when my birth Mother did it, she saw me cut her out of my life like a cancer. So when she turned around and did the same thing, I figure she can't be too shocked at being cut out like another cancer.

Some people like to lift themselves up by bringing others down.

Sadly my neighbor sort of sideways involved another neighbor so this third neighbor became privy to the whole story, now neither one of us will speak with her.

Life is complicated enough without idiots like this trying to make it harder.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-24-2009, 06:55 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 33,126,258 times
Reputation: 6678
Are you sure I wasn't joking???

Quote:
Originally Posted by moonshadow View Post
Well not to start a flame war here artsy but I feel that you have done that with my comments to such an extent I find it easier to leave you alone. I guess all you can do is admit that you just don't "get" someone and move on. Duking it out doesn't seem to solve anything.

Maybe they're just not the people for you?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-24-2009, 06:56 PM
 
Location: CITY OF ANGELS AND CONSTANT DANGER
5,404 posts, read 7,691,574 times
Reputation: 2163
ohhhhhh. well yes, but thats why we must always mind our words. use them wisely and be able to stand by what we say. its something that i had to deal with. its a control issue. once i put something into the world i have no control over how people will interpret it, use it or try to twist it.

the couple times i could remember something coming back on me, it was from a dear friend of mine. they were just being brutally honest and they called me out on a double standard. i had to accept that i was being contradictory.

if it is someone twisting what i say, then well i try to not deal with them. they can be more harm than good.

but the best way to avoid this is to watch your words.

Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
I meant in real life, however, I've noticed that few older adults do this. It is mostly with people in their twenties. I don't encounter this anymore since I moved. Thank Jesus.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-24-2009, 06:59 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 33,126,258 times
Reputation: 6678
Why does somebody who doesn't like you care if you are "contradictory" that is what I do not understand.

If it is family and friends that love and care for you dearly then maybe they want to just understand you.

There is a difference.

Quote:
Originally Posted by the one View Post
ohhhhhh. well yes, but thats why we must always mind our words. use them wisely and be able to stand by what we say. its something that i had to deal with. its a control issue. once i put something into the world i have no control over how people will interpret it, use it or try to twist it.

the couple times i could remember something coming back on me, it was from a dear friend of mine. they were just being brutally honest and they called me out on a double standard. i had to accept that i was being contradictory.

if it is someone twisting what i say, then well i try to not deal with them. they can be more harm than good.

but the best way to avoid this is to watch your words.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top