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It's been over a year since Mom passed away, and I still catch myself wanting to call or visit. It's hard to see my daughter and realize she will never have a relationship with her grandmother. I know that I will never completely get over her death, but I still miss her and long to talk to her. Does this really get any easier?
Mine passed five years ago. Yes, it will get easier. It's funny you should post this today. Last night my 8yr old asked to watch my wedding video so he could see my parents. I tell the kids stories about my parents and we look at photo albums. I think the stories are the best way to bring my parents to life through my kids' eyes. Especially funny stories that reveal their humanity.
Do you dream about your mom? I do still dream about mine every once in a while. Or does she visit me in my dreams?
i would say continue your talks with her, your mom, even though she has crossed over. It is a great source of comfort for you and for her, she still exists just in another form.
the love never goes away, there is no need to distance yourself from that love and those wonderful feelings. And also sharing stories of your mom with your daughter, she may not know her grandmother as a person, but she knows you as your mother, and when you speak from the heart about precious people and stories, that is a gift to your daughter and can help keep you and your daughter close.
I was a small girl when my grandfather passed away, but there were so many stories told of him, some hilarious, some wild, some sad, but all told with a lot of passion by my mom and his first wife and other relatives who knew him, i absolutely grew to adore the man. As a young adult struggling with certain questions about myself, i felt like I got a lot of my "self" from him, certain traits and ways of being in the world. Decades later I still adore the man and feel like I take after him in so many ways.
Best wishes to you, and your family. Your love for your mom, and sharing that love with your daughter, is a gift to you all. Kids of every age LOVE hearing stories especially those that reveal the people as human and funny and fallible.
Mine passed five years ago. Yes, it will get easier. It's funny you should post this today. Last night my 8yr old asked to watch my wedding video so he could see my parents. I tell the kids stories about my parents and we look at photo albums. I think the stories are the best way to bring my parents to life through my kids' eyes. Especially funny stories that reveal their humanity.
Do you dream about your mom? I do still dream about mine every once in a while. Or does she visit me in my dreams?
I don't dream as much. However, a month after she passed I had a very vivid dream of her. It was like I was literally having a conversation with her. Ironically the same night, my cousin (who my Mom was very close to) had the same experience. Was it just a random thing? Maybe so. However, I work in the medical field, and I've had people recount similar experiences. At the least, it's reassuring they will be always part of our lives and memories.
i would say continue your talks with her, your mom, even though she has crossed over. It is a great source of comfort for you and for her, she still exists just in another form.
the love never goes away, there is no need to distance yourself from that love and those wonderful feelings. And also sharing stories of your mom with your daughter, she may not know her grandmother as a person, but she knows you as your mother, and when you speak from the heart about precious people and stories, that is a gift to your daughter and can help keep you and your daughter close.
I was a small girl when my grandfather passed away, but there were so many stories told of him, some hilarious, some wild, some sad, but all told with a lot of passion by my mom and his first wife and other relatives who knew him, i absolutely grew to adore the man. As a young adult struggling with certain questions about myself, i felt like I got a lot of my "self" from him, certain traits and ways of being in the world. Decades later I still adore the man and feel like I take after him in so many ways.
Best wishes to you, and your family. Your love for your mom, and sharing that love with your daughter, is a gift to you all. Kids of every age LOVE hearing stories especially those that reveal the people as human and funny and fallible.
Thank you, that's a thoughtful and wonderful reply.
Funny you should mention that. I'm 50 and my mom died when I was 11 and I still miss her. In fact, it's the single regret in my life that I never really knew her and was able to have that mother and son relationship over the years.
When I think of that I am also mindful of all the people who have no recollection of their mother or father and all those people who trash the relationships they have with parents and if they only knew what the rest of us know I would hope they would spend more time cultivating parental relationships rather than tearing them down.
My Mom will be gone 10 years in a few months. I still miss her but I DO talk to her often and have her cat that she loved so much, a link to her, part of her or whatever you want to call it.
It does get easier but you never stop missing them.. My one regret is not asking her how she made things she fed us as kids. I learned how to make some of it but there are things I didn't learn how to make.. Her potato soup was THE BEST! She use to make us something she called "milk toast" and I really miss that!
It's been over a year since Mom passed away, and I still catch myself wanting to call or visit. It's hard to see my daughter and realize she will never have a relationship with her grandmother. I know that I will never completely get over her death, but I still miss her and long to talk to her. Does this really get any easier?
yes it does...my mom's (foster mom) has been gone for over 2 years...when I'm in a store, sometimes, and I see something I know she would like, I forget she's gone just for a brief second. She was my best friend and she loved my son and grand daughter emensly. She was so good to all of us...
I don't think you ever get over missing her....and I think sometimes those lonely moments I get are b/c I miss her...she was my best friend...but she was sick for so long, that it was almost a blessing. Life chipped away at her independence so slowly and badly. It was actually her decission, she chose not to have any more blood transfusions. Matter of fact, your post made me think of her fondly today....thank you.
It does get better...but in the end, she's always with you.
Would like to share a story. She was clinically blind. My sister bought her a clock that would speak the time, date and temp. She used it a lot. After she died, we started cleaning out the house on Sundays. I still lived upstairs in the apartment. Every stinkin Sunday, while we were cleaning out the house that clock would go off, and not stop, as if someone kept hitting it, over and over again. We'd all stop and look at each other, and then walk into the kitchen where the clock was, and it would stop. After a while, my younger sister kept telling me it was her, telling us she's ok...I believe that...or, I must. She was an awesome women, everyone loved her...you should have seen the cards she received at Christmas and on her birthday.
It does get better...but in the end, she's always with you.
while we were cleaning out the house that clock would go off, and not stop. We'd all stop and look at each other, and then walk into the kitchen where the clock was, and it would stop. After a while, my younger sister kept telling me it was her, telling us she's ok...I believe that...
thank you for this lovely wonderful story
the day of the funeral for a young man, driving home with his very distraught mother, the night sky was filled with shooting stars. It was amazing. The same thing happened one year later on the anniversary of his death. It was just astonishing and like you the sense was that he was letting us know that he was OK, and reaching out to offer us comfort and assurance by sending that message
I am so sorry for your loss...I too lost my Mom 2 years ago and although she had her "moments", I miss her calling me to holler at me for not calling her more, for not visiting her more or lecturing me about losing weight...all the naggy stuff Mom's can do.
Last year, I had started to keep a day by day diary and planned to give it to my son for Mother's Day. Because he and I had left his father up in Maine when my son was 11 years old and so much had gone on, I never really felt like my son knew who I was and what we had gone through living with his Dad. So, day by day, week by week...I filled in the pages of this diary and found old pictures to add to it as well. It was theraputic for me and meaningful. I gave the book to him on Mother's Day which kind of bewildered him, but he sure didn't hesitate to curl up in a chair to read it. I left him alone with it and visited with his wife. About a half hour later, he comes up to me with tears in his eyes and says, "Now I get it"...
Right now, as of today, start keeping a diary for your daughter filled with childhood memories of her Grandmother and you as a little girl. Include photos from when you were small and photos of your Mom...when she is old enough to understand it all, give her the diary. She will know your Mom through you and she will also never forget who you are.
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She was an awesome women, everyone loved her...you should have seen the cards she received at Christmas and on her birthday. 
Still Miss My Mom
