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Old 04-09-2009, 12:40 AM
 
47,576 posts, read 60,475,092 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart View Post
I have often wondered why some bad people are excused for their rudeness or bad behaviors and others are held to a higher standard...I don't get it...people will say "oh, you know how they are...they have always been that way"..

Well ,why should that be the case? Why should some people get off the hook for bad behavior and others have to pay dearly? Hmmmmm.....
I think with some people, they're pretty bad but people start expecting only that from them so after awhile it seems like it's just a trait and the other reason some are let off the hook is that they have other traits that sort of make up for their bad ones.
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Old 10-13-2012, 07:26 AM
 
45 posts, read 224,191 times
Reputation: 114
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
I'm going on my Jerry seinfeld-esque rant here, so what is with people that refuse to see the rudeness in really rude people or in a really rude friend, not only that but they defend that person and get all bent out of shape when you become rude to the first mean and rude person???

Then if you get some of those people alone and bring up did you see how rude so and so was? The person will still defend and protect the persons rudeness.
Absolutely, I often get it from relatives and in laws where you expected to sit back and take general rudeness, and not hit back with rudeness. You try to point out their behaviour to others and they will ignore it - but on the other hand if your behaved like that you would you get attacked.

I am not sure why it is - I think its a way of feeling sorry for that person, like they don't know any better or can't help the way they are, or its just the way they are and you can't change them, or for you to turn the other cheek and be the better person

I don't stand for it where I can, I attack back, point out their behaviour, and be rude back - I have stopped trying to be a people pleaser, or be diplomatic.

Here is the thing about Rude people, rude friends, rude family members - Do you think they behave like that toward their boss at work, their customers, someone who has some leverage over them? I think not because they will find themselves out of job - its amazing how people will change their behaviour in front someones who intimidates them, or has power over them.

Rude people only act rude toward because there are no consequences and you don't wield any power over them, I bet there a grovelling pathetic weasel in front of the person that pays their salary.

In fact rude people, often just adapt their behaviour to those around them - grovelling to those above, and kicking those below.
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Old 10-13-2012, 10:16 AM
 
7,496 posts, read 9,715,710 times
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I miss Artsy!

Back to the subject, you're right. Rude people are certainly not always rude (if they know what's better for them). I'm not a people-pleaser either, and I don't put up with much from people these days. Probably why I don't have many people in my life. I'm fine with that. I will no longer put up with rudeness just to have company. I've never really been that type but you can understand how it is to overcome the pressure to put up with toxic friends and/or family especially when you're younger.
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Old 10-14-2012, 03:27 PM
 
12,870 posts, read 15,354,667 times
Reputation: 14809
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
I'm going on my Jerry seinfeld-esque rant here, so what is with people that refuse to see the rudeness in really rude people or in a really rude friend, not only that but they defend that person and get all bent out of shape when you become rude to the first mean and rude person???

Then if you get some of those people alone and bring up did you see how rude so and so was? The person will still defend and protect the persons rudeness.
artsyguy....why would you want to be rude to someone just because they were rude to you"?..haven't you ever heard "two wrongs don't make a right"?
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Old 10-15-2012, 12:47 AM
 
3,947 posts, read 4,111,856 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
I'm going on my Jerry seinfeld-esque rant here, so what is with people that refuse to see the rudeness in really rude people or in a really rude friend, not only that but they defend that person and get all bent out of shape when you become rude to the first mean and rude person???

Then if you get some of those people alone and bring up did you see how rude so and so was? The person will still defend and protect the persons rudeness.
Maybe because they're favored by the rude person, and really don't have the other person's back.

I've seen people who do this, and complain to the very same person about the other person's rude behavior, and expect the other person to empathize with them when it happens to them.

It's called hypocrite.
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Old 10-15-2012, 08:44 AM
 
3,592 posts, read 4,707,548 times
Reputation: 4735
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart View Post
I have often wondered why some bad people are excused for their rudeness or bad behaviors and others are held to a higher standard...I don't get it...people will say "oh, you know how they are...they have always been that way"..

Well ,why should that be the case? Why should some people get off the hook for bad behavior and others have to pay dearly? Hmmmmm.....
EXACTLY. I detest putting up with the type of situations the OP describes. And then when I decide to pull out my attitude card on somebody, their friend or associate will be quick to chide me with how rude I was to the RUDE PERSON. Hmm. So the blinders do come off! It just depends on who is doing the offending.
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Old 10-17-2012, 02:29 PM
 
7,782 posts, read 5,924,893 times
Reputation: 5480
Quote:
Originally Posted by curiosity123737 View Post
Absolutely, I often get it from relatives and in laws where you expected to sit back and take general rudeness, and not hit back with rudeness. You try to point out their behaviour to others and they will ignore it - but on the other hand if your behaved like that you would you get attacked.

I am not sure why it is - I think its a way of feeling sorry for that person, like they don't know any better or can't help the way they are, or its just the way they are and you can't change them, or for you to turn the other cheek and be the better person

I don't stand for it where I can, I attack back, point out their behaviour, and be rude back - I have stopped trying to be a people pleaser, or be diplomatic.

Here is the thing about Rude people, rude friends, rude family members - Do you think they behave like that toward their boss at work, their customers, someone who has some leverage over them? I think not because they will find themselves out of job - its amazing how people will change their behaviour in front someones who intimidates them, or has power over them.

Rude people only act rude toward because there are no consequences and you don't wield any power over them, I bet there a grovelling pathetic weasel in front of the person that pays their salary.

In fact rude people, often just adapt their behaviour to those around them - grovelling to those above, and kicking those below.
I'm the same way. I'm getting to the point where I am just going to call out some of the rude people. Unfortunately, I am going to Alienate the few friends that I have. However, it is time to put my foot down.
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Old 10-17-2012, 02:43 PM
 
Location: SF CA, USA
4,188 posts, read 4,371,721 times
Reputation: 4943
It's not that I refuse to see it, it's just at this point I'm too jaded or cynical to care much. One outburst at a random rude person won't make society any more courteous as a whole. My mother is the opposite; she always works up a crazy temper over poor service at hotels and restaurants and other places, always demanding to see the manager at that kind of stuff. My dad and I just shrug and say that the world has changed, so we don't make a big fuss over it.
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Old 10-21-2012, 08:08 PM
 
2,080 posts, read 3,400,734 times
Reputation: 1569
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
I'm going on my Jerry seinfeld-esque rant here, so what is with people that refuse to see the rudeness in really rude people or in a really rude friend, not only that but they defend that person and get all bent out of shape when you become rude to the first mean and rude person???

Then if you get some of those people alone and bring up did you see how rude so and so was? The person will still defend and protect the persons rudeness.
At our church the couple who bring a loud 3 and 4 year old to Mass: they are defended by some and one priest quietly gets upset but is not in charge. I am upset at those who defend the parents. My parents had 5 sons and 2 girls and we never went to Mass till we were old enough to be really quiet.
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Old 10-21-2012, 08:42 PM
 
Location: Bergen County, NJ
1,603 posts, read 3,632,690 times
Reputation: 1838
The best is parents who bring their small kids to mass, and the kids sit and play hand-held video games the entire time, and the volume is on !! Granted it's on low, but it's still on and loud enough the people around can hear it ... RUDE ....

Or people who feel the need to use their cell phones in public places and carry on conversations so loud everyone has to hear ... God forbid you look at them, they get their panties in a twist. If you don't want anyone to hear your conversation, take it outside !

I have found that people in general are rapidly growing more and more rude to others they don't know - strangers in the passing. It's unsettling .... Kindness and consideration for others is really a thing of the past ...
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