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You don't have to be sorry you brought it up - it's a valid question. It was just sad to see all the responses from people who seem to have difficulty in their female relationships.
I know this can be a problem for girls at school and I think it's great that you are doing research, but do remember that there are probably some wonderful young girls who will grow up into wonderful young women with lots of wonderful female friends. Hopefully your daughter and her friends will be some of these.
No, I was just joking Hoboken. I'm not really sorry I brought it up. It's just something I've noticed, from the outside of course, and always wondered about. Like most things feminine, you remain to us men a delightful mystery.
Just had a thought that maybe what we're talking about the lowest denominator of female behavior, almost a mutated gene.
Maybe I just as easily could have asked, "Why are men such big insensitive lugs?" Anyone want to field that one?
I work with over 30 women single and married, there is peer presurestill alive and well.women have a sneeky way of excluding others mainly other women, and very judgemental and so so critizie others unfairly many times. There feelings get hurt so they hurt that person back by giving someone the cold shoulder or many cold shoulders. Women feel justified in talking behind a persons back, and rather than go directly to that person, they become a little fearfull and scared to open confrontation, because women like the sneek attack best and there good at getting several people to join them in disliking someone. Sad to say these very same scared and devious women are also nice but so so so sneeky
There are so many women who love to gossip to hurt feelings and to spread a lie or dramatize somthing that person does not like about the other. Gossip does hurt and it's cruel. Why cant women be more mature.
they gang up on a poor girl to the point of not giving her respect and achknowlegement of their presence. This is done so expertly planned.
women seem to think they have power by crusing another women's livelyhood and spirit.
It's not in everyone's nature. But I can truly say that no matter how nice I am to women they really hate me. Most of my friends are guys. I don't have too many girlfriends (except from high school) because women are "agenda focused" and it's irritating.
I've had women hang out with me and try to get over splitting the check when they ordered twice as much as I did and I have to make them understand that is not the business.
I've had women who party and since I not a party scene girl I still told them where they can hang out (being kind)......and they took offense and felt I didn't want to hang out with them and I had something personal against them.
I stick with my guy friends. I love them. They are real. If we have issues we talk it out and move on. There is no lies and hidden feelings or agenda's.
I will never forget the night I was at a bar and 3 adult women gathered to talk about this tall amazon looking woman at the bar. That "b" this and that "tall-b" that. It was all I could do to not stop and drop my mouth. I was like this chick is at the bar doing her own thing and not bothering anyone but these women were so jealous of the attention she was getting I was frightened for the woman.
This has been one interesting thread for the most part.
Some observations I've made over the years:
- When guys tell you Guys do such-and-such they're including themselves. It may not be behaviour they're proud of but they've learned it by having experienced it -- whether they've corrected the behaviour or not. Guys see ourselves as having individuality for about 50 percent of our makeup and belonging to the collective of "humanity" for the other 50 percent. I call it our "Why?" chromosome.
- When women tell you Women do such-and-such they are NOT including themselves, they are telling you about other women. I've noticed that women see themselves as "unique" and entirely separate from other women on some inherent level, belonging only on a social level which is passing at best.
- Guys have disagreements all the time. We confront, we argue, we may even fight -- but once it's settled, it's settled. And because we've blown off that steam we may even change perspectives. Still, the confrontation is key.
- Women backbite, harp, snipe on one another, dancing around issues and, on the rare occasion of direct confrontation, even trying to dodge and lead away from the issues. Women would prefer to change the subject over actively pursuing an end which might mean any form of self-correction.
- Men are problem-solvers by nature. We want to hear about your day, and when you tell us how bad it is, we immediately try to figure out how to avoid that kind of badness in the future. Have you tried...? What about...?
- Women want to tell us about their bad day but they don't want the problem solved; they want us to hold them and tell them what witches the other women are, and to reassure them it will all be okay. Later, when the problem still isn't solved they want to demand a solution of us by saying "What have you DONE about this? NOTHING!"
- Men, by way of that same problem-solving nature, actually MEAN it when we ask what you want for dinner. We're not asking because we're incapable of figuring out what we want to eat; we're perfectly well aware that left to our own devices we'd go get steak or pizza or chili. We're asking because we'd like some data to work with on figuring out how to make a MUTUAL decision.
- Women don't want to be asked what they want for supper, they want to be offered choices on supper. That way they feel like they were part of the decision process but the heavy lifting is done for them. It's a loaded gun for guys; if you DON'T ask, you're insensitive to their needs, and if you ALWAYS ask, you're wishy-washy and indecisive and, therefore, incapable of thinking for yourself.
- Men forget but seldom forgive without some time to digest and let things go.
- Women may forgive, or may not; but they never forget. They save it up as though hoarding ammunition against future battles.
Women all tend to hate each other and can ONLY be successfully united in the face of a common enemy, during which wartime period the bonds are unbreakable. Only when the enemy has been successfully vanquished will their pacts dissolve and the internecine strife begin.
If you don't think so, try being the only male to work in an otherwise female office. Half will bend over backward to gain your attentions, the other half will hate you if you GIVE your attentions, and if you do the sane thing and make it utterly clear that NO ONE will be getting your attentions, then they ALL hate you and have your career demise in the planning stages.
After that they can go back to hating each other without interference.
The only thing a woman hates more than another woman is a man who won't play her games or cater to her play-petties (no, that's NOT a typo).
Not all but some women are insecure. Some times women are jealous of another women, or envious of her. Sometimes the women is just inmature. There is always going to be more friciton with women working with each other then men working with men. Women are tempermental, they have female problems to deal with, you lucky men. Some women are just plain *******, as my daughter will say. she prefers to work with Men. She says the women are always gossiping about each other. Some times women envy other women, and the fact that a strong independent women, beaitufiul, making it on her own, buy her own home, cars etc, makes other women jealous, i have seen it myself. Some women are jealous of another women's position and on and on and on when women work with other women.
I myself have always had male friends....much less complicated! I have noticed about SOME of us girls that we get a sort of "mob mentality" at times. A group of 6 girls, 1 of those girls is mad at person X the other 5 now have a problem with person X and they tend to gang up on poor little person X..eeek!
From a male perspective, I seem to have noticed over the years that many, not all of course, girls/women are just not very nice to each other. Also I've heard females speak enviously about the easy rapport males have with each other. Why is this? Is it a competitive thing? Is it that men are more direct? Do most women grow out of it? We like to say that women are the gentler, nicer sex, but is it really true. Please help educate the father of a daughter.
I know, thank goodness I don't work with any of them. I've been at stores and at gas stations before when two women were going at it in a shouting match. The only reason I stuck around was in case any clothing started to come off! Is that wrong for a lonely single guy?LOL........
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Nasty mean women
