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Old 04-08-2009, 02:49 PM
 
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I know in some cultures or even in some professions the afterhours scene is important for networking and maybe to get yourself promoted. I have no desire to see people I work with when I am not being paid to do so. If I am going to be brown nosing someone I want to be paid for it. I can be fun at work or even when there is an out of town conference and we spend two or three days at meetings and social functions, but I would never want to be around any one I work with out side of work. My question is, is this behavior insulting or detrimental or acceptable? I will be starting a new job in the future and plan on not socializing with whatever group of *******s I have to work with or work for.

Last edited by thriftylefty; 04-08-2009 at 03:06 PM..
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Old 04-08-2009, 02:50 PM
 
Location: Chicago, Illinois
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you just have to. otherwise "things" will develop. you don't have to be their best friend but mine as well act cool while on the job. it will make things a lot comfortable for you and everybody really.

that behavior is NORMAL for the work place. i'm the same way. i'm this 25 year old dude working with a bunch of 40 on up year olds. they're cool but save for a couple of cougars, i'm not trying to chill with them outside of work.
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Old 04-08-2009, 02:51 PM
 
Location: Incognito
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I socialize with mine for 10 hours a day monday to friday. That more than enough socialization for me.
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Old 04-08-2009, 02:54 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,362 posts, read 35,292,084 times
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What profession are you in? I hope that you can at least like and respect your co-workers as fellow workers. If not, your disdain for them might show. At least have lunch with them on occasion. And if your off hours social life is already full, then you have a good and valid excuse for avoiding their social events.

I hope that you are pleasantly surprised at your new job and actually like some of your co-workers. If you end up disliking them all as people, then I suggest you find yourself another job quickly. It's not good to spend 40+ hours every week in the company of those you dislike.
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Old 04-08-2009, 02:56 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thriftylefty View Post
My question is, is this behavior insulting or detrimental or acceptable? I will be starting a new job in the future and plan on not socializing with whatever group of *******s I have to work with or work for.
It cost me dearly at my last job. I worked 12 hour shifts on my feet in a hospital. While most sat at the nurses station off and on all day and chatted, I kept moving. I had to stay focused and on track or lose my momentum and train of thought--I'm a true scatter-brain. If my patients were all taken care of for the moment, I'd start over from the beginning and check on them all and/or restock. For that, my socializing at work got me labeled asocial. So I guess my answer is, yes, it was insulting to my coworkers that I didn't socialize.

I might add, it's b'c they took this attitude about me not socializing at work that I don't socialize with them outside work. They shouldn't have judged me. They should have just asked, why don't you ever sit and chat with us at work?

Last edited by Whyte Byrd; 04-08-2009 at 03:10 PM..
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Old 04-08-2009, 03:09 PM
 
Location: Rockland County New York
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I don't like socializing with my colleagues. I like keeping my private life separate from professional responsibilities. I have friends but going out drinking after school is not in my best interest.
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Old 04-08-2009, 03:26 PM
 
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coworkers can be absolutely lovely people and fun for 40 hours a week. but I guess I am a bit of a chameleon, I generally can get jobs out of character for my self. For instance I once had a job that required I be decisive, tough, and straightforward, when I'm not at work I can be a scatter brained push over. I like "taking off the armor" so to speak when I'm not at work. Its like a comedian who is not funy unless he is on stage. I feel when we are at work we are on a stage performing.
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Old 04-08-2009, 03:29 PM
 
Location: Houston, TX
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Tough call I've done both. In general I dont socialize w co-workers, cause all many do is complain/gossip about work/bosses/other employees. But that doesnt mean you should never do it. Going out for drinks once in a while or a holiday function is a good idea. It says your not aloof, and somewhat social...and you get an idea of what people are like away from the office. If you dont go, people will assume the worst about you unfortunately.
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Old 04-08-2009, 03:35 PM
 
28,905 posts, read 47,568,349 times
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You know, unless you're working the graveyard shift in IT or as a security guard in an isolated plant, you're going to have co-workers that you have to deal with on an everyday basis. What's more, you'll have work with them in a collaborative basis day in and day out. You'll need to trust them and they'll need to trust you.

I certainly don't advocate going out for drinks with them weekly, or monthly, or even yearly. You don't have to talk about your personal lives, attend their bridal and wedding showers, or anything like that. At the same time, it's always a good idea to maintain cordial and friendly relationships with your co-workers to ensure good cooperation, connections for later professional development, and a host of other benefits. To just wall yourself off in your cubicle is just plain stupid.
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Old 04-08-2009, 03:41 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,506 posts, read 18,039,890 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
You know, unless you're working the graveyard shift in IT or as a security guard in an isolated plant, you're going to have co-workers that you have to deal with on an everyday basis. What's more, you'll have work with them in a collaborative basis day in and day out. You'll need to trust them and they'll need to trust you.

I certainly don't advocate going out for drinks with them weekly, or monthly, or even yearly. You don't have to talk about your personal lives, attend their bridal and wedding showers, or anything like that. At the same time, it's always a good idea to maintain cordial and friendly relationships with your co-workers to ensure good cooperation, connections for later professional development, and a host of other benefits. To just wall yourself off in your cubicle is just plain stupid.
I don't know about the O/P but I was always very friendly and helpful with my colleagues and chatted with anyone in the break room on lunch breaks. I just didn't let socializing distract me from work. Some people are cliquey and some aren't.
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