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What to do with this friend?
I have a problem with a friend I have had for a long time and wanting to know what advise I could get to handle this problem?She is a good person or should I say was a good person till about 4 months ago.We worked together and spent a lot of free time going shopping ,going to the local bar just to dance,talking about just darn near every thing. We could have not been closer if we were sisters.Then for reasons that were her own doing got let go at the job. We still stayed great friends out side of the job and I even found her a new job through connections with other friends.Then all of a sudden she got a whole new world.She started to hang around people that do drugs and drink and drive and just all around do crazy things.When I call her to just come over and talk she would give me some reason why she is busy then I would get a text from her 3hours later telling me she missed being around me and how I am missing the big party.The last time I caved in and went out with her she said it would just be me and her and we would go see a live band at a club.She called all her friends and they met us at the bar and I almost got my head knocked off by her so called friends because I was not like them.The on going joke of the night was i should be a cop since i do not know how to have fun.I want my old friend back and I am at a lost on what to do.
Doesn't sound like there's anything you can do except move on. Your friend is old enough to make the wrong choices in life. Nothing you do will change her.
This one is not really in your control. I had a female friend I knew from when I grew up that seemingly followed the same path. She calls when 'drunk' missing how things 'used' to be. But she enjoyed going to parties and clubs, which resulted in some problems (kids/job issues). People like to party at different speeds and unfortunately they wont find out if they are in too high of a gear until they crash somehow.
What to do with this friend?
I have a problem with a friend I have had for a long time and wanting to know what advise I could get to handle this problem?She is a good person or should I say was a good person till about 4 months ago.We worked together and spent a lot of free time going shopping ,going to the local bar just to dance,talking about just darn near every thing. We could have not been closer if we were sisters.Then for reasons that were her own doing got let go at the job. We still stayed great friends out side of the job and I even found her a new job through connections with other friends.Then all of a sudden she got a whole new world.She started to hang around people that do drugs and drink and drive and just all around do crazy things.When I call her to just come over and talk she would give me some reason why she is busy then I would get a text from her 3hours later telling me she missed being around me and how I am missing the big party.The last time I caved in and went out with her she said it would just be me and her and we would go see a live band at a club.She called all her friends and they met us at the bar and I almost got my head knocked off by her so called friends because I was not like them.The on going joke of the night was i should be a cop since i do not know how to have fun.I want my old friend back and I am at a lost on what to do.
Your friend has taken the wrong path...meaning the drinking and the drugs and it is a path you don't need right now. Tell her that when she is ready to give up the drinking and drugs you will consider going out with her again but until then it is not on your agenda right now to be with the druggies she is haning out with. Don't let it bother you that HER friends think you should "be a cop"....you don't need them right now either and having fun does NOT include drugs no matter how you cut it. I know you miss your friend but don't that be the driving force that causes you to go back within her new circle of friends. If she was a true friend to you in the first place, she would get away from this new crowd.
As far as what you can do? Nothing. If this friend wants to talk on the phone, that's ok...just stay strong and let her know that you are just not comfortable with her lifestyle and friends right now and if she wants to talk, you will talk on the phone with her but please, don't fall into this partying phase she is in..not worth it.
I am sorry that you are hurt but if your friend has moved on to partying with drugs, the wrong crowd and alcohol my guess is that you are much better off.
Sounds as though you are a really good friend and I am sure there are plenty of people out there who would love you for a friend.
Stick to your principles.
Best wishes.
I'm sorry. It sounds like your old friend is no longer there. This "new" person is not to your liking (and for good reason). Your old friendship is over. I am sorry.
yup. move on. she's nicely trying to let you go. I left my friends because I was tired of watching sports on TV with them, and their GFs setting me up with 'slow' girls. I went for hobbies that interest me doing it that watching like snowboarding, and car racing and went after girls i meet in the city and I'm still the joke of the party when I visit them because I dont know who the athletes are on TV, dont know which band leaked out a teaser single or how to work the latest 'lazy-boy' furniture.
find your own wings
Move on. Life's too short to mess with this girl. She will surely get worse before she gets better...if she gets better at all.
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