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Sounds like depression. Solving 1 would solve the other.
I agree with you MG. About 15 years ago someone gave me a book titled, "It's not what you're eating; It's what's eating you". As true now as it was then.
There were a lot of factors that led to my weight gain: steroids for endometriosis, fertility drugs, a defunct thyroid, feeling so tired that it was easy to blow off the gym time, and emotional over-eating that spiraled out of control. The last two reasons were 100% within my power to change them, and I have given up trying to figure out why I didn't care enough about myself to do just that.
A few months ago I set out on a quest to get off the damn weight-loss roller coaster & lose it once & for all. Not to get a man; not to wear the cute clothes; but so I don't die of a heart attack before I hit fifty. My goal was to lose 50 pounds. I have so far lost 24 and I am seriously re-evaluating how much more I need to lose. Certainly not the original fifty. I'm putting some muscle back on for one thing.
Mostly though, I'm finding out that 35 lbs. lost will probably be just right for my goal. Probably plump by most of the CD health freaks' standards, but not by my standards. No matter what the number says on the scale, my mental health has improved dramatically & the journey has opened my eyes to how incredibly shallow our society can be.
What is hard to understand is that when he was younger, in his 20's and early 30's, my dad was a trim, fit, handsome man! Dad had movie-star good looks back in the day. It just baffles me.
Possibly one thing that happens is when people get in a committed relationship the drive to keep yourself "competitive" falls off.
I see a lot of people that once they get married they go right in the toilet.
LOL those people have no inner self value, everything is superficial and image based. I call those people big time losers. All of their reinforcement comes from external sources. Losers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanneroo
Possibly one thing that happens is when people get in a committed relationship the drive to keep yourself "competitive" falls off.
I see a lot of people that once they get married they go right in the toilet.
My husband and I are still young, but we've gotten healthier since getting married. We stopped drinking soda, we don't eat processed foods, and we exercise together all the time.
I think the problem is that people have a seriously unhealthy relationship with food. I don't think about it, I just eat. I take my time, and I savor it. I think food definitely can be entertainment. I'm a chef, my husband's a bartender. We eat and drink very well. But so many people eat those 100 calorie packs or some other processed fluff and expect to be satisfied. Not me, sorry.
I use olive oil as much as possible, and use stronger, unpasteurized cheeses instead of the processed stuff that tastes like glue. Maytag blue on a medium burger with sauteed onions and mushrooms? It's ok to eat that! Just swap roasted veggies or a salad with balsamic for the fries and you're in heaven. Slow-roasted pot roast in a red wine sauce with carrots, fennel, and skin-on potatoes is good for you! Salad with a homemade caesar vin, fresh spinach pasta with puttanesca sauce, korean beef lettuce wraps slathered in chili sauce, fresh chicken and black bean enchiladas in a homemade tomatillo sauce, pizza with a homemade wheat and herbs de provence dough... We eat well. But we eat balanced. If you eat whole food, it satisfies you. But you have to break those habits. I used to eat absolute junk, and my body would crave what it was used to. French fries, cake, ice cream, yucky stuff. But since I've changed my eating habits to be more nutritious, more homemade, and very scarce on food additives, I hardly ever eat for reasons other than nourishment. And my most frequent craving, surprisingly, is salad. Go figure.
I run/walk two miles a day, on a day where I'm not exercising much. I have a low body fat percentage (but my BMI is over due to muscle mass, which I'm fine with), low blood pressure, low cholesterol, and my husband is the same. He has a congenital heart condition, and I have fibromyalgia. There are some days where neither of us feels up to exercising, but we do it. And it makes all those conditions that people blame being out of shape on so much more manageable.
Possibly one thing that happens is when people get in a committed relationship the drive to keep yourself "competitive" falls off.
I see a lot of people that once they get married they go right in the toilet.
In other words, they take the other person for granted and assume they don't have to work as hard to stay attractive. I never quite understood why they think that. Whenever I was in a relationship, I worked extra hard to stay in shape for the simple reason that the better shape you're in, the better the sex is.
The demands of daily life take their toll on our minds and bodies. Having a job, going to grad school, having children, etc... all this makes it much harder to stay fit than when one is in high school or a single in his/her 20s.
Years ago I was overweight by at least 20 lbs. I started to lift weights regularly, put on mass, and after some trial and error, have finally "learned" how to put on muscle. I did a cutting period last year and learned that I can lose weight if I eat very carefully and do lots of cardio - lost 10lbs in one month.
As a single adult w/ lots of married friends and acquaintances, I used to think that it's inevitable to get fat after marriage. I don't think so anymore. one guy I know is slim and toned; no, make that two. Both work out regularly.
Folks who have kids and are out of shape - I think they deserve some slack.
but what about singles? If one has no responsibilities other than him/herself, why let yourself go? I'm biased now because I work out regularly (I actually plan out my workout programs, do research, eat healthy most of the time, force myself not to eat certain foods, and hit the gym 3-4 times a week).
however... what are the reasons? depression? low self-esteem? What's with binge eating?
I know a girl I went to school with. She's short - and now she's HUGE. I think she put on 30-40 lbs from the time I first met her. Back then she was quite cute, and slim. I found her attractive. Now she's a blimp... and I avoid her because she is vocal about her insecurities (looks and marital status primarily).
I mean, I look at her, and if she hates being fat, shouldn't she decide to change? Every time I see her she's eating away, and I've never seen her refuse cake, pie, etc. And then, "oh gosh, I gotta lose weight..."
Some bigger folks are born that way, but she wasn't. I don't understand how people like her - formerly very cute - can allow themselves to morph this way.
frankly, I think in most cases it's about making excuses... noting a couple of parts in your post, for example: neither having children nor getting older are legitimate reasons to "let oneself go"... going by what the oldest generation occasionally said, these notions started "back in the day" when most young people's #1 priority was snagging a husband/wife, & after they did so, they didn't feel any need to take care of their appearances anymore.
these days, with or without that "priority," many people simply care about their personal appearance for their own sake, plus realize the health risks of putting on too much extra weight.
as for me, the only exercise I've ever done in my entire life is walking; I eat anything I want but in moderation; & am in much better shape and healthier than when I was a teenager.
if people don't have health conditions causing weight problems, it's usually inactivity, depression, or those who eat on binges or cravings.
The demands of daily life take their toll on our minds and bodies. Having a job, going to grad school, having children, etc... all this makes it much harder to stay fit than when one is in high school or a single in his/her 20s.
Years ago I was overweight by at least 20 lbs. I started to lift weights regularly, put on mass, and after some trial and error, have finally "learned" how to put on muscle. I did a cutting period last year and learned that I can lose weight if I eat very carefully and do lots of cardio - lost 10lbs in one month.
As a single adult w/ lots of married friends and acquaintances, I used to think that it's inevitable to get fat after marriage. I don't think so anymore. one guy I know is slim and toned; no, make that two. Both work out regularly.
Folks who have kids and are out of shape - I think they deserve some slack.
but what about singles? If one has no responsibilities other than him/herself, why let yourself go? I'm biased now because I work out regularly (I actually plan out my workout programs, do research, eat healthy most of the time, force myself not to eat certain foods, and hit the gym 3-4 times a week).
however... what are the reasons? depression? low self-esteem? What's with binge eating?
I know a girl I went to school with. She's short - and now she's HUGE. I think she put on 30-40 lbs from the time I first met her. Back then she was quite cute, and slim. I found her attractive. Now she's a blimp... and I avoid her because she is vocal about her insecurities (looks and marital status primarily).
I mean, I look at her, and if she hates being fat, shouldn't she decide to change? Every time I see her she's eating away, and I've never seen her refuse cake, pie, etc. And then, "oh gosh, I gotta lose weight..."
Some bigger folks are born that way, but she wasn't. I don't understand how people like her - formerly very cute - can allow themselves to morph this way.
how people live, or choose to live, is none of your business.
If a person doesn't want to care for their health, why should your uptight opinion be of any consequence?
My husband and I are still young, but we've gotten healthier since getting married. We stopped drinking soda, we don't eat processed foods, and we exercise together all the time.
I think the problem is that people have a seriously unhealthy relationship with food.
I've let myself go alot the last 2 months, since my father was very sick for 2 weeks and thn died, on top of that my mother threw me out on the street 3 days before he died, and also had such a huge quantity of unforeseen problems with the apartment my father lived in, my sisters apartment in which i livwe right now, my car, her car, my fathers car, everything seems to have decided to break in pieces right now, plus a family feud(total war, everyone turning in eachother to the police etc) well I've let myself go alot, bu I hop I can finally start working out normally again, and living normally again for that matter...Tho nothing will turn the same again...
the driving force behind it all
people think character is a suitable substitute for looks after marriage
not so.
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