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Old 04-28-2009, 06:09 PM
 
Location: NE Florida
9,362 posts, read 22,738,338 times
Reputation: 9281

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Too many posts that I want to respond to. Thanks, gatistosmommy, for getting the boys in line!

We only have 4% latino population here. I am going to begin using mami. This cloistered demograhic needs a shot of diversity!

I am working at a new job and have a new staff member. He is very southern and our relationship has been awkward- some northern-speaking woman who says just what she thinks instead of the southern women's way of being so sweet and tactful. I'm not nasty, just direct. Today we bonded. He had a terrible job to do and when I called him at the end of the day he cussed a blue streak about how much it s#cked. He wasn't mad at me, the work just s#cked. He called back when I was driving home and apologized. "that was no way to speak to a lady", he said. I just laughed and told him that I saw it as a good sign, that I figured that meant we had bonded. And then he said he would come in early to finish the job, ending with , "I'll get it done shug". Normally being called "shug" would be offensive to me, but he meant it to let me know that he would do whatever it takes to get the job done. We are going to kick a$$ as a team!

I guess that whatever we are called, what is important is the intent. Artsyguy calling someone honey got his point across. The same word is a term of endearment when used in another context.

Peace out dawgs-

Mami
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Old 04-28-2009, 06:26 PM
 
Location: I'm around here someplace :)
3,633 posts, read 4,404,380 times
Reputation: 3980
Quote:
Originally Posted by HIF View Post
Too many posts that I want to respond to. Thanks, gatistosmommy, for getting the boys in line!

We only have 4% latino population here. I am going to begin using mami. This cloistered demograhic needs a shot of diversity!

I am working at a new job and have a new staff member. He is very southern and our relationship has been awkward- some northern-speaking woman who says just what she thinks instead of the southern women's way of being so sweet and tactful. I'm not nasty, just direct. Today we bonded. He had a terrible job to do and when I called him at the end of the day he cussed a blue streak about how much it s#cked. He wasn't mad at me, the work just s#cked. He called back when I was driving home and apologized. "that was no way to speak to a lady", he said. I just laughed and told him that I saw it as a good sign, that I figured that meant we had bonded. And then he said he would come in early to finish the job, ending with , "I'll get it done shug". Normally being called "shug" would be offensive to me, but he meant it to let me know that he would do whatever it takes to get the job done. We are going to kick a$$ as a team!

I guess that whatever we are called, what is important is the intent. Artsyguy calling someone honey got his point across. The same word is a term of endearment when used in another context.

Peace out dawgs-

Mami
"peace out dawgs"?
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Old 04-28-2009, 07:14 PM
 
Location: Austin
4,103 posts, read 6,047,162 times
Reputation: 6708
I call my daughter momma and son pappo or papi. *shrug*
It's funny to see the confused look on my inlaws faces that are from KY. My husband even calls the kids these terms of endearment although he was confused as well when he first heard me say it. It doesn't freak me out when people I don't know call me honey, sweetie, momma, etc. And I don't find it condesending
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Old 04-28-2009, 07:37 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, TN
8,000 posts, read 17,055,207 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HIF View Post
And not just me, either. More and more I have heard people referring to women as "momma". In a restaurant, a man and woman working behind the counter, the man refers to her as momma. The guy in the tire store referred to a woman without kids at her side as momma. I've heard little girls being addressed as momma. And I've been called momma.

Is this some new trend?

I've also heard men referred to as poppy, but not as frequently.

What's up with this?!
I don't know homeslice, they calling you hot momma or what?
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Old 04-28-2009, 07:38 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, TN
8,000 posts, read 17,055,207 times
Reputation: 12328
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
Do you live in Tennessee?
I`m not sure...I can`t keep up with these young whipper snappers and their slangs.
Or Alabama?


I guess momma is better than being called baby momma huh?
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Old 04-28-2009, 07:40 PM
 
Location: NE Florida
9,362 posts, read 22,738,338 times
Reputation: 9281
Carlita-

I once had a plumber say to me, "Honey, how are you flushing the toilet? Are you popping it like this?" (shows me how to flush a toilet.) THAT is condescending! My response- "I have been shi!!ing my entire life and flushing for more than four decades. I know how to flush a toilet."

If he had not referred to me as honey, I may have had more patience for the idiot.
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Old 04-28-2009, 09:06 PM
 
12,051 posts, read 11,088,405 times
Reputation: 9998
Whenever I hear "momma", I think of Slater from Saved By the Bell ... wouldn't use it; however, I've been in the South too long. I've taken to calling women "ma'am", even those much younger than me, years ago. My sisters (who like me were born and raised in Southern California) mock me mercilessly whenever I go home for doing that. But it gets worse. The past year or so, I have heard myself referring to waitresses, sales people, etc. as "sweetie" and "honey." As near as I can tell, I haven't raised an eyebrow yet ... it really does seem appropriate down here ... but it always embarrasses me when I do it. Maybe I should just switch to "momma."
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Old 04-29-2009, 07:19 AM
 
Location: Incognito
7,005 posts, read 18,558,660 times
Reputation: 5458
I talk to my 7 month old in Spanish, I call him papi lindo and he jumps ecstatic.
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Old 04-29-2009, 09:41 PM
 
Location: under Grace
142 posts, read 249,790 times
Reputation: 131
I use sweet talk to sweeten a situation as needed. It is an obvious suckup/feather smoother. When a customer starts out with "Honey, Baby", then I'm like "What?". Finesse is called for. Say I want a customer to move a heavy chair and he has the choice to do it or not. I have zero power. How I ask for a kindness will influence the guy's response. Calling him honey acknowledges my lack of power, so he doesn't feel bossed. Honey, baby can be presented with hands pressed together as if in prayer. Eye contact and a sweet smile usually seals the deal. For a really big chair, I may call in reinforcements from my younger coworker, if the guy is older. If the guy is in his twenties, I'll trot out the oldest coworker. Father/daughter. Grandson/grandma. The aim is to pull out the instinctive protective/helpful response and not the "maybe I'll get laid for this" attitude. Once I got the victim lined up, then our acting skills kick in. Fragile and helpless women approach offending heavy object. Some hand twisting and fluttering. Older coworker might touch her lower back gently with a pained look. Younger coworker may cast appreciative eyes on a younger guy out on the sidewalk and wish outloud for the manager to get someone for "men's work". If we do this right the guys volunteer with manly pride to help. If the victim is reluctant but conflicted then first fleeting eye contact with him is made, then my face turns towards the floor, then my eyes make contact again, searching his with a hopeful light. If he nods or looks resigned then he gets praised and petted on verbally. If we pull this off, the customer moves something that is within his strength level, he preens under our praise, gets a small item free and this all female staff do not hold our backs for real.
It seems like a lot of nonsense. Done right this all takes place in under a minute. Most of the time the guy knows what we're doing. Those who don't want to help vanish among the houseware shelves. A tiny bit of excitement, a little show, some reward. Goodwill all around. The older guys reading this will probably be smirking.
I call a coworker "Mother" when I'm under fire on the sales floor. When I yell "Mother" the customers back up and wait for my acknowledged authority figure. Calling her by her real name leads to further explanations. It's also a claim of unity. As in you may not like my answer, but the lady I just called will be on my side. In the back room "Mother" drawn out means "I love you, but quit your caretaking before I go crazy." "Dad's here" means the female manager is looking for someone to blame and punish. Usually quiet snickers accompany "Dad's here" with faces turned down but eyes watching warily.
The older white ladies and all the older men seem to like hearing endearments. A kind word lights up their eyes, as we check in with them on how they are doing and why we didn't see them last week. In my experience being very familiar with black women is treated as a sign of disrespect. "Mam" with eye contact and a smile works well. And hungry looking men who smile too widely are never called "Honey". A distancing "Sir" is used. With only fleeting eye contact and a small tight smile. And a quick retreat.
In 8 hours we see as many as 400 people in this small store. About a hundred to a hundred and fifty buy something. There are about 25-30 donors each day. As much as I fuss and shadow box on here, I aim to do a good job while I'm there. When I don't know a customer by name or I have forgotten their name, endearments are useful on a case by case basis. To gently grease the wheels of conversation or when said in a certain acid tone to add distance.
Is there anyone else that does this? Reading the other responses I was nervous to write. I did my usual overkill reply. Good night Sweeties. Kisses. Hug your ma-ma for me and tell your daddy I said, "To behave himself. There ain't no need to worry your ma-ma like that." Come see us soon, you hear? Don't make us worry over you too. love you. Actual words we say to customers. When we can mean it. Followed by hugs. For some people we are their family. I started volunteering here because my family wouldn't talk to me and these people would. After three years here I'm a very small part of our customers lives. Just call me sweetie and give me a hug. Bye y'all.
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Old 04-29-2009, 10:06 PM
 
Location: NE Florida
9,362 posts, read 22,738,338 times
Reputation: 9281
Endearments are unprofessional. If I need something heavy moved, I just ask someone if they would mind moving it.
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