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I see nothing wrong with what you said to this rude woman. She was looking for trouble by approaching you after the service with her projection behavior (she calling YOU rude). By speaking up at all you are a hero to the rest of us who shut up and bear such behavior.
Well, thank you for that, but two wrongs don't make a right. I think I would have better handled it by simply shooting them a dirty look (And I have a very good one of those).
I wouldnt beat myself up over it. There is no excuse for an adult and teenagers to behave that way. Next time try what my mother did when we got squirmy during church service. She had the finger snap, point and the look. Thats all it took. Maybe that would embarass the folks enough to shush, if you treated them like children.
cpg...they may have been insulted that you spoke to them that way but I say Good for you. They may have all gone home and talked about you but I bet they are thinking about it today. Sometimes you just have to put totally rude people in their place.
I have no problem giving people my "daggers" when they are rude.
I bet that silently people were applauding you!
Last edited by crazyworld; 05-01-2009 at 10:37 AM..
I watched the 1973 Dick Cavett interview with Katherine Hepburn on YouTube recently (yes, I'm a geek, get over it). She told a story of how she stopped performing in the middle of a Broadway play when someone snapped a flash picture.
She said something to the effect of, "Well, here we have a selfish person who is willing to ruin everyone else's experience so she can get a picture. I hope you enjoy that photograph dear. Let's start the play over from the beginning, shall we?"
Yep. Do you just sit there and endure it? Or do you upbraid them for their behavior? I'm not sure what the best course of action is. However, I'm pretty sure that woman and her kids will think twice about prattling on in church now.
That's exactly right. She and her offspring WILL think twice now. You did the right thing!!!! I suspect that part of her righteous indignation was some embarrassment that she was trying to cover up.
I watched the 1973 Dick Cavett interview with Katherine Hepburn on YouTube recently (yes, I'm a geek, get over it). She told a story of how she stopped performing in the middle of a Broadway play when someone snapped a flash picture.
She said something to the effect of, "Well, here we have a selfish person who is willing to ruin everyone else's experience so she can get a picture. I hope you enjoy that photograph dear. Let's start the play over from the beginning, shall we?"
That woman was a GEM!
Wow. That was perfect. We attended a touring performance of a Broadway show a few weeks ago. There was one adult in the balcony (Who should have known better) taking flash photography. She was thrown out by the usher, but not before complaining loudly. It never occurred to her that people had paid $75 a seat to watch the show, not be distracted by her.
Okay. Last night we attended the confirmation of my nephew at his church. Admittedly, it was a long service, but my children were able to sit quietly throughout it. Meanwhile, a woman in the pew immediately behind had three teenaged children with her. They were whispering throughout the first half of the ceremony. By that, I don't mean the occasional remark, but an ongoing 45-minute conversation complete with giggling and the whatnot. Finally, I had had enough. I turned around and said, "I'm sorry, but you're being very rude. This is a church service." Of course, this met with an affronted look from the woman, but at least they shut up. After the service, the woman tapped me on the shoulder and said how rude I was to her and her children. To which, I said, "You're right. But that's nothing compared to the ongoing conversation you were having, disturbing everyone around you." To that, she said, "Don't you tell me how to behave," to which I responded, "If you're going to disrupt a church service, I have every right to ask you to be quiet. If you can't control yourself for 90 minutes, then you should go sit in the cry room where you can babble to your hearts content."Okay. I fully admit it was not my finest moment. I also fully admit that I made a bad situation even worse, and regret saying what I did. I certainly did not handle it well, particularly since it took place at a religious ceremony. So, I'm pretty much beating myself up over snapping like that. It's really unlike me. That being said, what is it with people who think that they can walk into a church service, a movie theater, a musical performance, or any other event that requires listening and quiet from the audience or congregation, and yap away as if it were their living room? I mean are people so self-centered that they have to say whatever they want to whenever and wherever the thought occurs to them? What is the deal on this?
I think we have all be in this very same situation at one time or another in our lives; however, I think I probably would have gotten up and moved to another pew..she would have gotten the same message I think. She was definitely rude and her kids were worse..goes to show you how much training the kids have had. Because they were being so rude in church, you probably should have expected her to confront you outside of the church. Anyone as rude as she was in church doesn't care about being confrontational at all.
So, ok, now it is over....don't beat yourself up you did what you did and now she knows that she was behaving badly as were her kids. I'll bet you anything that next time you see her in church she will be a whole lot quieter and so will her kids!!
I remember having some professors who if someone were chatting during a lecture would just stop and stare at them. Of course the entire class would turn to look at them also. When the rude people realized the lecture had stopped and all eyes were on them, the professor would ask them if they had something important to share and if they wanted the floor. Talk about embarrassing.
I remember having some professors who if someone were chatting during a lecture would just stop and stare at them. Of course the entire class would turn to look at them also. When the rude people realized the lecture had stopped and all eyes were on them, the professor would ask them if they had something important to share and if they wanted the floor. Talk about embarrassing.
That reminds me, we had a minister once that would do this. He would continue his sermon walking down the aisle and stop in front of the offenders, stop talking and stare at them. When they finally looked up, he would just smile at them and then at everyone else. They would all chuckle softly (they had seen him do this before). Then he would continue his sermon as if nothing had happened.
You have a point. What do you think the OP should have done? Is sitting quietly and pretending not to hear that family showing them a better way to live their lives? I think that has about a zero percent chance of doing anything except reinforcing their belief that it's OK to be rude in church. I'm not trying to say they needed to be taught a lesson, but what is the example you think that people in the situation need to set?
A good question, and perhaps another needs to be asked in pursuit of an answer, and it is this: What should the ultimate objective be in interacting with people such as this in church? I'm going to guess (but could be wrong) that these people were not regular church-goers. So one option is just to address the immediate situation and seek to correct the behavior (and/or voice disapproval of it). Another option, though, takes a longer-term view of things - seeing an opportunity to begin to introduce someone to the beliefs we profess, and to welcome them into our community in an inviting manner. Those are not necessrily mutually exclusive. That is, it may be possible to give correction in a gentle and loving manner without turning people away.
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