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Old 05-01-2009, 12:13 PM
 
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I'm sorry you found it necessary to resort to personal insults to continue the discussion. I respect your disagreement.
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Old 05-01-2009, 12:13 PM
 
Location: Philly
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Look, if one of her kids was on trial in a courtroom, She would keep her yap shut if she didn't want to hurt her son's chances. Her sons would keep their yaps shut as well. Why? Because the judge demands respect. The court procedure demands it as well. It's the same in a religious service, or anywhere else a large group of people are gathered. Respect and consideration of others should motivate our actions.
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Old 05-01-2009, 12:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by CHTransplant View Post
I'm sorry you found it necessary to resort to personal insults to continue the discussion. I respect your disagreement.
I was referring to the person in the congregation who spoke during the service, not you. I'm sorry that you got the wrong idea.
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Old 05-01-2009, 12:24 PM
 
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No worries. See you in church sometime. (I'll be the one sitting behind you and whispering. )
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Old 05-01-2009, 12:32 PM
 
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I have a similar story that happened some time ago.

A friend and ex-coworker was getting married and invited most of the people in the company as we were a tight knit group. Thing is that she had recently fell out of favor in the office (which had become clique-ish) and some of the employees started looking down on her. Even thought this was happening she was trying to stay gracious and she didn't un-invite them to her wedding which makes sense. There was some talk around the office by these people that they didn't think her upcoming marriage was going to work out - based on their low opinion of her.

So the day of the wedding arrives and everyone shows up for this wedding, which was well done and beautiful I'll add. It was held in the church she had attended since childhood, and many of the attendees were long-time family friends of hers who had attended the church.

During the ceremony I was sitting about 4 rows behind the group of co-workers who had kind of clique'd together against this girl. They were snickering and cracking jokes "quietly" throughout the entire ceremony. Some of these jokes were along the lines of how the marriage would not last, and how the groom was an unfortunate chump to be marrying her. It was completely tasteless not to mention not as quiet as they must've beleived as I could hear them 4 rows back.

It still makes me mad thinking about it. I was so pissed that day to watch people disrespect a wedding like that. And I lost a ton of respect for my co-workers, I'm glad I don't work there anymore.
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Old 05-01-2009, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,012 posts, read 29,625,657 times
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Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Oh, boy. I'm sure the people around you just loved the experience, too.
I bet they didn't We boys were not grumpy like the rest of the Sunday crowd. My mother loved every moment of it, despite her chagrin. Today I have to thank you for the opportunity of making me recall it. My dad's passed away and the three of us have formed a triangle on the world map, living in different countries.

I'm also appalled at the "several" responses, in favour of disciplining the allegedly "rude" teenagers and their "ruder" mom.

Why am I thinking of the stern school staff in the pink floyd video, another brick in the wall, lol. Remember them getting out of the staff room and heading for the classes in a posse, as roger waters kicks in.

I take part in the mass every Sunday. I've been to sacramental affairs too. The only silent gig is the weekly Benediction, but then there's just one person per bench and a hall full of abundant oxygen.

Most of these services are frantic. There are people walking, babies crying, the worst get into the cry room, then you have the service roosters and bunnies (yes, they compete with the altar boys for all-round visibility under the dome), in tuxedos and suites, flashing around with money baskets, pamphlets and the whole nine yards.

After this, there are countless other things which are a source of irritation - the "angelic" voices of the chaotic choir, vague sermons - monotonous, teleprompter-style, LONG, then materialist sermons like money for the church, to buy a new organ, mow the already pretty church lawn, cell phones, I even see blue toothers gnashing it out, families which gangbook an entire row, stupid couples who snog during "peace", less stupid husbands who caress the wives' muffin tops, random hug syndrome of newly weds (geez!), adults walking around and adults who see them walking around....... and amidst all of this, you found the young teens annoying?

You could have turned and requested the kids to pipe down, with a smile, not using the word "rude". I can think of a million ways to talk to them, in a much less-authoritarian fashion.

And if some stranger were to turn around and call us rude, my mother would "definitely" go ballistic. No stranger has the right to strong-arm her kids. And I am not at all surprised the mom chose to confront you. She did what moms do. Can you imagine the psychological effect with teenagers when the mother fails to erect at least an illusion of protection?

The kids and the mom would sure have talked about you later. And it would be simplistic to even think the incident would have taught them something. They probably hate the whole ordeal. I, as a kid, would have.

This has nothing to do with good or bad upbringing.
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Old 05-01-2009, 02:42 PM
 
28,896 posts, read 53,976,196 times
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Originally Posted by Colossus_Antonis View Post
I bet they didn't We boys were not grumpy like the rest of the Sunday crowd. My mother loved every moment of it, despite her chagrin. Today I have to thank you for the opportunity of making me recall it. My dad's passed away and the three of us have formed a triangle on the world map, living in different countries.

I'm also appalled at the "several" responses, in favour of disciplining the allegedly "rude" teenagers and their "ruder" mom.

Why am I thinking of the stern school staff in the pink floyd video, another brick in the wall, lol. Remember them getting out of the staff room and heading for the classes in a posse, as roger waters kicks in.

I take part in the mass every Sunday. I've been to sacramental affairs too. The only silent gig is the weekly Benediction, but then there's just one person per bench and a hall full of abundant oxygen.

Most of these services are frantic. There are people walking, babies crying, the worst get into the cry room, then you have the service roosters and bunnies (yes, they compete with the altar boys for all-round visibility under the dome), in tuxedos and suites, flashing around with money baskets, pamphlets and the whole nine yards.

After this, there are countless other things which are a source of irritation - the "angelic" voices of the chaotic choir, vague sermons - monotonous, teleprompter-style, LONG, then materialist sermons like money for the church, to buy a new organ, mow the already pretty church lawn, cell phones, I even see blue toothers gnashing it out, families which gangbook an entire row, stupid couples who snog during "peace", less stupid husbands who caress the wives' muffin tops, random hug syndrome of newly weds (geez!), adults walking around and adults who see them walking around....... and amidst all of this, you found the young teens annoying?

You could have turned and requested the kids to pipe down, with a smile, not using the word "rude". I can think of a million ways to talk to them, in a much less-authoritarian fashion.

And if some stranger were to turn around and call us rude, my mother would "definitely" go ballistic. No stranger has the right to strong-arm her kids. And I am not at all surprised the mom chose to confront you. She did what moms do. Can you imagine the psychological effect with teenagers when the mother fails to erect at least an illusion of protection?

The kids and the mom would sure have talked about you later. And it would be simplistic to even think the incident would have taught them something. They probably hate the whole ordeal. I, as a kid, would have.

This has nothing to do with good or bad upbringing.
Ahhhh, the old tired wheeze that expecting consideration for others somehow smacks of fascism. I see you subscribe to the "Let's dance around the children ad nauseam" school of parenting. Because God forbid that the little angels not have every single word that spills out of their mouths be adored and cherished, regardless of when and where it was uttered, lest it squelch their creativity and youthful spirit. Forget the fact that one couldn't hear a pin drop elsewhere in the church, for the brats have to express themselves right then and there about who's taking whom to the prom.

Sorry. Three teenagers being incapable of simply shutting up in church is quite emblematic of bad upbringing, thanks. That's because going to church is a meditative act of devotion. Being willfully disruptive or inconsiderate of others just because one feels like the service is a drag is terribly self-centered and disruptive to the spiritual needs of others. And, evidently, given how unaware these people were of the needs of other, I'm very doubtful that a smile from me would have silenced them.

What's more, if one doesn't feel like being quiet, that's why there are soundproof rooms for disruptive teenagers and other babies. The far greater harm in this situation was a mother and her three children not paying attention to the service and cracking jokes. And how anybody with a shred of consideration for others could excuse it is beyond me.

Last edited by cpg35223; 05-01-2009 at 02:56 PM..
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Old 05-01-2009, 02:52 PM
 
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More and more, you are feeling better about how you handled it, aren't you? I sure am!

People who go to church because they are suffering under the delusion that it is merely a social occasion and a chance to "be seen" should just stay home.
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Old 05-01-2009, 02:53 PM
 
28,896 posts, read 53,976,196 times
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Originally Posted by Book Lover 21 View Post
More and more, you are feeling better about how you handled it, aren't you? I sure am!

People who go to church because they are suffering under the delusion that it is merely a social occasion and a chance to "be seen" should just stay home.
Yep. I'm thinking that there's big old world out there that needs to be reminded how to be considerate of others.
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Old 05-01-2009, 03:09 PM
 
Location: Chicago
38,707 posts, read 102,794,286 times
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Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Okay. Last night we attended the confirmation of my nephew at his church. Admittedly, it was a long service, but my children were able to sit quietly throughout it.

Meanwhile, a woman in the pew immediately behind had three teenaged children with her. They were whispering throughout the first half of the ceremony. By that, I don't mean the occasional remark, but an ongoing 45-minute conversation complete with giggling and the whatnot.

Finally, I had had enough. I turned around and said, "I'm sorry, but you're being very rude. This is a church service." Of course, this met with an affronted look from the woman, but at least they shut up.

After the service, the woman tapped me on the shoulder and said how rude I was to her and her children. To which, I said, "You're right. But that's nothing compared to the ongoing conversation you were having, disturbing everyone around you." To that, she said, "Don't you tell me how to behave," to which I responded, "If you're going to disrupt a church service, I have every right to ask you to be quiet. If you can't control yourself for 90 minutes, then you should go sit in the cry room where you can babble to your hearts content."


Okay. I fully admit it was not my finest moment. I also fully admit that I made a bad situation even worse, and regret saying what I did. I certainly did not handle it well, particularly since it took place at a religious ceremony. So, I'm pretty much beating myself up over snapping like that. It's really unlike me.

That being said, what is it with people who think that they can walk into a church service, a movie theater, a musical performance, or any other event that requires listening and quiet from the audience or congregation, and yap away as if it were their living room? I mean are people so self-centered that they have to say whatever they want to whenever and wherever the thought occurs to them? What is the deal on this?
Welcome to the "Me" generation. And it's only getting worse with each subsequent generation.
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