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Old 05-01-2009, 10:34 AM
 
25,280 posts, read 27,439,207 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Colossus_Antonis View Post
"having to correct" huh? LOL

I knew it. You're male

This is why we never went to church with Dad. We would still go together, Dad would break away and remain with the organizers. We'd form a separate party and execute a riot
Oh, boy. I'm sure the people around you just loved the experience, too.

I just have never gone through life believing I was the center of the universe. However, somebody who walks into a church and cannot exhibit self-control for 60-90 minutes must obviously think that of themselves.
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Old 05-01-2009, 10:36 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
8,526 posts, read 12,699,505 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Actually, you are endorsing rude behavior by having such low expectations. If my 9-year-old son can sit still in a church without my having to correct him every three minutes, surely an adult and three teenagers should be able to do the same. And what you define as tolerance I define as allowing disrespect for the service and the congregation.

Heck, if you went to a musical performance and paid a goodly sum for the ticket, would you tolerate someone who talked non-stop throughout the performance? If you went to a lecture, would you tolerate someone who saw fit to yap on and on to his friend? Doubt it.
A church is not a musical performance or a lecture. It has a different mission, and its members are not merely a passive audience; they are active disciples and witnesses of the message the church seeks to present.
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Old 05-01-2009, 10:39 AM
 
25,280 posts, read 27,439,207 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CHTransplant View Post
A church is not a musical performance or a lecture. It has a different mission, and its members are not merely a passive audience; they are active disciples and witnesses of the message the church seeks to present.
Yes, and babbling nonstop about whatever thought enters one's self-centered head interferes with that mission. The people in question were interrupting the spiritual experience of others through their own selfish behavior. What's more, given that the conversations had nothing to do with what was actually going on, then the four people in question weren't even present in spirit. What about this is so hard to understand?
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Old 05-01-2009, 10:50 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
8,526 posts, read 12,699,505 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Yes, and babbling nonstop about whatever thought enters one's self-centered head interferes with that mission. The people in question were interrupting the spiritual experience of others through their own selfish behavior. What's more, given that the conversations had nothing to do with what was actually going on, then the four people in question weren't even present in spirit. What about this is so hard to understand?
None of it. I am not suggesting the behavior was appropriate, I am suggesting that, as Christians, we have been given an example of how to respond to those who are "not like us" and to show them a better way of living their lives. It had seemed like, initially, you recognized this yourself:

Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
. . . Okay. I fully admit it was not my finest moment. I also fully admit that I made a bad situation even worse, and regret saying what I did. I certainly did not handle it well, particularly since it took place at a religious ceremony. So, I'm pretty much beating myself up over snapping like that. It's really unlike me.
I understand your frustration. I might have felt the same. I might even have snapped as you did. And I probably would have regretted doing so as you did, and reminded myself what the church is for, and that I'm there to give as much as receive.
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Old 05-01-2009, 10:52 AM
 
25,280 posts, read 27,439,207 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CHTransplant View Post
None of it. I am not suggesting the behavior was appropriate, I am suggesting that, as Christians, we have been given an example of how to respond to those who are "not like us" and to show them a better way of living their lives. It had seemed like, initially, you recognized this yourself:

I understand your frustration. I might have felt the same. I might even have snapped as you did. And I probably would have regretted doing so as you did, and reminded myself what the church is for, and that I'm there to give as much as receive.
Thank you for that. What my OP was really about isn't even specifically behavior in church. It's about the inability of people to be considerate of one another in any kind of event that requires sitting and listening. I just don't get it.
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Old 05-01-2009, 10:55 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
21,295 posts, read 19,384,638 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CHTransplant View Post
None of it. I am not suggesting the behavior was appropriate, I am suggesting that, as Christians, we have been given an example of how to respond to those who are "not like us" and to show them a better way of living their lives.

I understand your frustration. I might have felt the same. I might even have snapped as you did. And I probably would have regretted doing so as you did, and reminded myself what the church is for, and that I'm there to give as much as receive.
You have a point. What do you think the OP should have done? Is sitting quietly and pretending not to hear that family showing them a better way to live their lives? I think that has about a zero percent chance of doing anything except reinforcing their belief that it's OK to be rude in church. I'm not trying to say they needed to be taught a lesson, but what is the example you think that people in the situation need to set?
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Old 05-01-2009, 10:56 AM
 
Location: USA
2,136 posts, read 1,557,573 times
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I'm surprised there are people willing to EXCUSE this kind of behavior.

This is one of the things I love about our move to the Midwest. We had to endure this all the time in California. We literally could not hear a word of the ceremony at our son's middle school graduation. People were talking to each other, laughing and actually talking on their cell phones.

Now that we are in the Midwest, you could hear a pin drop in a situation like this. It's BLISS! People here apparently know how to raise their children properly.
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Old 05-01-2009, 11:12 AM
 
Location: Weston, FL
2,840 posts, read 8,969,502 times
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cpg and mrstewart - couldn't agree with you more. And what is most gauling is that people do not know how to behave in public - they have absolutely no idea what is appropriate and what is acceptable behavior - They are inconsiderate, thougthless, with zero upbringing.

This is why I seldom go to the cinema - I don't want to deal with the inconsiderate cell phone user an endless chatting while I am trying to enjoy the movie -- no thanks. I hate getting angry and this behavior sends me into orbit.
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Old 05-01-2009, 11:12 AM
 
3,080 posts, read 2,176,874 times
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Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Okay. Last night we attended the confirmation of my nephew at his church. Admittedly, it was a long service, but my children were able to sit quietly throughout it.

Meanwhile, a woman in the pew immediately behind had three teenaged children with her. They were whispering throughout the first half of the ceremony. By that, I don't mean the occasional remark, but an ongoing 45-minute conversation complete with giggling and the whatnot.

Finally, I had had enough. I turned around and said, "I'm sorry, but you're being very rude. This is a church service." Of course, this met with an affronted look from the woman, but at least they shut up.

After the service, the woman tapped me on the shoulder and said how rude I was to her and her children. To which, I said, "You're right. But that's nothing compared to the ongoing conversation you were having, disturbing everyone around you." To that, she said, "Don't you tell me how to behave," to which I responded, "If you're going to disrupt a church service, I have every right to ask you to be quiet. If you can't control yourself for 90 minutes, then you should go sit in the cry room where you can babble to your hearts content."


Okay. I fully admit it was not my finest moment. I also fully admit that I made a bad situation even worse, and regret saying what I did. I certainly did not handle it well, particularly since it took place at a religious ceremony. So, I'm pretty much beating myself up over snapping like that. It's really unlike me.

That being said, what is it with people who think that they can walk into a church service, a movie theater, a musical performance, or any other event that requires listening and quiet from the audience or congregation, and yap away as if it were their living room? I mean are people so self-centered that they have to say whatever they want to whenever and wherever the thought occurs to them? What is the deal on this?
I see nothing wrong with what you said to this rude woman. She was looking for trouble by approaching you after the service with her projection behavior (she calling YOU rude). By speaking up at all you are a hero to the rest of us who shut up and bear such behavior.
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Old 05-01-2009, 11:13 AM
 
25,280 posts, read 27,439,207 times
Reputation: 34587
Quote:
Originally Posted by Book Lover 21 View Post
I'm surprised there are people willing to EXCUSE this kind of behavior.

This is one of the things I love about our move to the Midwest. We had to endure this all the time in California. We literally could not hear a word of the ceremony at our son's middle school graduation. People were talking to each other, laughing and actually talking on their cell phones.

Now that we are in the Midwest, you could hear a pin drop in a situation like this. It's BLISS! People here apparently know how to raise their children properly.
BL21, you said a mouthful. There is a correct way to behave in almost every situation. Yet some parents seem reluctant to teach this to their children, in the misguided belief that it stifles creativity or some other truly lame excuse.

I've seen those kinds of kids grow up into adults and the results are typically not pretty. A strong sense of entitlement seems to prevail, and they usually have serious problems adjusting to the real world--all because, upon entering adult life, people in their work and their relationships aren't going to enable their social retardation for a New York minute.
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