Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
A good question, and perhaps another needs to be asked in pursuit of an answer, and it is this: What should the ultimate objective be in interacting with people such as this in church? I'm going to guess (but could be wrong) that these people were not regular church-goers. So one option is just to address the immediate situation and seek to correct the behavior (and/or voice disapproval of it). Another option, though, takes a longer-term view of things - seeing an opportunity to begin to introduce someone to the beliefs we profess, and to welcome them into our community in an inviting manner. Those are not necessrily mutually exclusive. That is, it may be possible to give correction in a gentle and loving manner without turning people away.
Oh, c'mon. Just because it's church, people are supposed to simply put up with rudeness? If this woman and her offspring went to a fancy restaurant, were loud and ignorant, then don't you think the management would say something? The "customer is always right" motto has limits. Society has limits.
People who don't care about others and simply insist on doing their own thing without restraint are inherently selfish. And, yes, churches address selfishness and other human foibles because they want to help us become the best humans we can be, not excuse our unflattering qualities.
At my son's First Communion, parents and guests were reminded over and over again that they could NOT take pictures during the ceremony. Instead, they had a professional photographer on hand to discreetly take pics of each child so the service wouldn't be rudely interrupted. We were told this at the parents meetings, it was announced before the ceremony started and it was printed in the program. And, yet, there were still fools who started bopping around taking pics of their kids and the ushers had to tell them to sit down before EVERYONE joined in, figuring if some got away with it they could, too.
Sorry, but church is a FINE place to learn self-control if you don't have any. Rude, selfish people need to learn it SOMEWHERE.
This is a real pet peeve of mine. I think I even wrote about it on one of the what pisses you off threads.
I think rudeness is just running rampant. I'm not a prude at all and I don't believe I'm one of the people that are really insane about manner, but jeez. I can't believe how the last couple of generations of kids that are being raised to act like pigs.
I'm even noticing how young girls are starting to act really piggish. Just like how the boys are now.
Mrs. Chow has a niece and nephew that are just monsters. Her and her brothers weren't raised like that. I don't know how her brother lets the kids act like complete idiots.
His wife just drives me nuts, she acts like she has no control over how her kids act.
The niece is really very, very pretty and she's such a little snob. Many poor young guys are in for trouble with her.
Oh, c'mon. Just because it's church, people are supposed to simply put up with rudeness?
I don't think anyone here has suggested that the answer is "to simply put up with rudeness." Rather, the discussion is regarding the best and most productive way to address that rudeness in a church environment.
I don't think anyone here has suggested that the answer is "to simply put up with rudeness." Rather, the discussion is regarding the best and most productive way to address that rudeness in a church environment.
I think the OP did the right thing. He got to the heart of the matter. It was the woman who chose to continue the unpleasantness. Or, what, a bunch of people glaring at them throughout the service would have been better?
Good on you, I think you did the right thing. Too many people are oblivious to everyone around them, they think they can conduct themselves as though they were at home. Same thing happens at the movie theater too.
I think the OP did the right thing. He got to the heart of the matter. It was the woman who chose to continue the unpleasantness. Or, what, a bunch of people glaring at them throughout the service would have been better?
I'm not sure I can agree with you, and I"m not sure even the OP would agree with you that they did "the right thing" in the conversation that followed the service:
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
After the service, the woman tapped me on the shoulder and said how rude I was to her and her children. To which, I said, "You're right. But that's nothing compared to the ongoing conversation you were having, disturbing everyone around you." To that, she said, "Don't you tell me how to behave," to which I responded, "If you're going to disrupt a church service, I have every right to ask you to be quiet. If you can't control yourself for 90 minutes, then you should go sit in the cry room where you can babble to your hearts content."
Okay. I fully admit it was not my finest moment. I also fully admit that I made a bad situation even worse, and regret saying what I did. I certainly did not handle it well, particularly since it took place at a religious ceremony. So, I'm pretty much beating myself up over snapping like that. It's really unlike me.
Why is texting rude? I have no problem if it is on silent.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart
People are rude and are raising rude children.
We are season ticket holders to the ballet and I took my grandmother to the February performance. There were young girls sitting in front of us texting during the performance...rude.
Sorry you had to encounter someone like that during such an important event.
Talking non-stop during a church service is annoying but I don't think it's a big deal at all. I don't think it is bad enough to post it on city data complaining about it either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CHTransplant
Someone prominent once said "Man was not made for the sabbath, but the sabbath for man." The same might be said of the church. It needs to be able to serve all, not for its own purposes but for theirs. It needs to be open to everyone, not just those who fit a particular mode of dress, appearance, etc., and yes - even unruly teenagers. I would rather have them in the pew and whispering, than have them feel unwelcome. One famous preacher of old I've heard of used to hang out with tax collectors, prostitutes and thieves.
I don't think anyone here has suggested that the answer is "to simply put up with rudeness." Rather, the discussion is regarding the best and most productive way to address that rudeness in a church environment.
See, I totally disagree with you on this.
For some reason, you seem to think that people are completely stupid. I mean, anybody with the IQ slightly higher than a rhesus monkey knows that if no one else in a congregation of 1,000 people are holding conversations, then it's probably a good idea to maintain silence oneself. One would have to be willfully rude and self-centered to not recognize this.
This isn't about people not knowing what's expected in a church, by the way. They knew the liturgy. They made the appropriate responses at the appropriate times. They just elected to fill up the intervening times with ceaseless chatter.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
