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Old 05-02-2009, 05:20 AM
 
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One thing I have noticed about communication with so many people I have meet recently is they do not know how to have a conversation. Instead of having a nice conversation looking at each other in the eye exchanging smiles, enjoying each other and exchanging information, I am meeting lots of people who talk at me.

When someone talks at you they tend to stick with scripted responses similar to a forced business conversation. They do not really look at you and act like they do not really want to hear what you are saying. They tend to preach and lecture and speak in a robotic format. They look at your direction but do not connect with you in a real way. When I say something, they seem uninterested and tend to brush off what I say and return to their speech.

Have you noticed an increase in the number of people that tend to talk "at you" or "to you" instead of "with you"?

Last edited by Weekend Traveler; 05-02-2009 at 05:56 AM..
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Old 05-02-2009, 05:42 AM
 
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Yes, I do this when people corner me and about things that aren't interesting.
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Old 05-02-2009, 05:50 AM
 
4,512 posts, read 6,728,254 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Weekend Traveler View Post
One thing I have noticed about communication with so many people I have meet recently is they do not know how to have a conversation. Instead of having a nice conversation looking at each other in the eye exchanging smiles, enjoying each other and exchanging information, I am meeting lots of people who talk at me.

When someone talks at you they tend to stick with scripted responses similar to a forced business conversation. They do not really look at you and act like they do not really want to hear what you are saying. They tend to peach and lecture and speak in a robotic format. They look at your direction but do not connect with you in a real way. When I say something, they seem uninterested and tend to brush off what I say and return to their speech.

Have you noticed an increase in the number of people that tend to talk "at you" or "to you" instead of "with you"?

interesting that someone here should bring this up...
i actually thought - and for quite a while now - i'd be the only one noticing such practice .... and worse: suspecting it to be strategy and tactics .....

seems a lot of (younger!?) folks are about to re-establish a "culture" which i personally rather would reject.



thanks, op.
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Old 05-02-2009, 09:21 AM
 
7,977 posts, read 11,652,026 times
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I've wondered something similar. Like does the younger generation have a whole different conversational mode? I work with younger people and it seems like they have these conversations where all they talk about is themselves - back and forth.
At first I thought geez
Now I wonder - have they just moved onto some sort of conversational shorthand?
Like they are listening to each other but just respond about themselves.
Its hard to think of an example.......
Um.....someone starts talking about having a problem with their dog
Response: Oh yea my dog on and on about my dog....(talking at the other person)
First person - babbles on more about their dog maybe picking up a thread or two from the first person like oh yea we put in a fence too (but its all about them if you get my drift)
Second person - again about their blah blah blah
They are having a conversation, they are hearing each other, they just aren't doing the old polite commenting on what someone else said, asking a question to show your interested....they are both talking at each other
total shorthand that sounds very self-involved but I'm not sure it is??????
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Old 05-02-2009, 09:33 AM
 
Location: Way upstate NY - Where the snow flys
1,130 posts, read 1,358,684 times
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I don't have a lot of interraction with teens, but I don't find that to be true with my grand daughters.
A couple things came to mind when I read the initial post:
Is this sometthing more prevalent in an urban area, not so much in the country?
Maybe it's a result of how fast and hard kids are pushed these days so the've developed this verbal shorthand to help 'get it done'
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Old 05-02-2009, 11:06 AM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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I have nothing to add. I just came in here to find out what 'talking at you' means. I've always wondered that. I can't say I've experienced it before--or maybe I just didn't notice.
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Old 05-02-2009, 06:15 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 48,403,820 times
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Do you work with people that have Asperger syndrome or NPD? Because every time you post it seems like you describe people like that and it's really sad.

One of my buddies had Asperger and he acted the way you described but inside he was a gentle person even though he sure could rant about all the little details.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Weekend Traveler View Post
One thing I have noticed about communication with so many people I have meet recently is they do not know how to have a conversation. Instead of having a nice conversation looking at each other in the eye exchanging smiles, enjoying each other and exchanging information, I am meeting lots of people who talk at me.

When someone talks at you they tend to stick with scripted responses similar to a forced business conversation. They do not really look at you and act like they do not really want to hear what you are saying. They tend to preach and lecture and speak in a robotic format. They look at your direction but do not connect with you in a real way. When I say something, they seem uninterested and tend to brush off what I say and return to their speech.

Have you noticed an increase in the number of people that tend to talk "at you" or "to you" instead of "with you"?
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Old 05-02-2009, 06:17 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 48,403,820 times
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This is common sense. "Talking at you" means they don't care what you have to say, what matters the most is the speaker and he will tell you what he or she thinks without regards to you or your opinions or feelings.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Public_Newsense View Post
I have nothing to add. I just came in here to find out what 'talking at you' means. I've always wondered that. I can't say I've experienced it before--or maybe I just didn't notice.
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Old 05-02-2009, 06:22 PM
 
Location: So Cal
40,420 posts, read 39,942,794 times
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Try a little experiment. Pay real real close attention to your interactions with people, whether they be sales clerks or close friends. You'll be surprised how impersonal and distant people are.

Many people are trapped in their minds and aren't' truly "present" when they interact with others.

Just watch.
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Old 05-02-2009, 06:24 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 48,403,820 times
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Are you serious? I guess I am lucky that most of the sales clerks that I know are very personable and warm. That is why window shopping rules.

Sorry to invalidate your experiment.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
Try a little experiment. Pay real real close attention to your interactions with people, whether they be sales clerks or close friends. You'll be surprised how impersonal and distant people are.

Many people are trapped in their minds and aren't' truly "present" when they interact with others.

Just watch.
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