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Old 05-13-2009, 04:53 PM
 
943 posts, read 1,868,984 times
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I wish my husband and I could spend our holidays with people we like but so far no one has a backbone and does not want to create waves. Every Thanksgiving and Christmas I get together with some relatives we have been seeing on Holidays since I was a little girl. Every year the conversation is more strained, more rolling eyes, embarrassed looks, long silences, and a general feeling of being ill at ease.

A week before the Holiday we get a call asking us when we are coming over and we always make arrangements. How can we stop the madness? Can you relate? Does this happen to you?
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Old 05-13-2009, 05:04 PM
 
Location: Not tied down... maybe later! *rawr*
2,689 posts, read 4,455,457 times
Reputation: 4262
I usually spend 'em with family... whom I don't hate... but I always end up regretting it.

For instance, this past Christmas, my dear Mom had to make a HUGE deal to everyone (laughing hysterically about it, mind you) that I was the only one she didn't buy a Christmas present for.

And I was, literally, the only one who didn't get one single gift from my family.

Eh... there's other places I could go to be made to feel like crap and it wouldn't bother me as much 'cuz the chances are, it'd be strangers and not family making me feel that way.


Oh... I know! We could go to each other's house for the holidays! Problem solved! But you better not live where it's bitterly cold in the winter!
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Old 05-13-2009, 05:10 PM
 
11,000 posts, read 7,081,726 times
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I don't visit relatives I don't like anymore.
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Old 05-13-2009, 05:13 PM
 
Location: SoCal - Sherman Oaks & Woodland Hills
12,980 posts, read 18,611,173 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Weekend Traveler View Post
Do you spend Holidays with relatives you do not like?
Nope.
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Old 05-13-2009, 05:15 PM
 
Location: Texas
1,226 posts, read 1,845,034 times
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I host the holiday events and invite who I want to be there. No worries!
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Old 05-13-2009, 05:16 PM
 
Location: Nova Scotia
458 posts, read 776,093 times
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I am the same, I do not visit relatives I do not like anymore either. I should not have to sit in a room with people I do not get along with or that they do not get along with me for a whole day. Then make idle chit chat about nothing and feel uncomfortable the whole time. Life is to short to have to spend it with people you don't like and being made to feel uncomfortable. Besides I think it sends mixed messages to the kids.

Also if they do not make an attempt to get in touch with me any other time of year or me them, why should we spend what is suppose to be a happy holiday, together?
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Old 05-13-2009, 06:24 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
12,023 posts, read 12,381,399 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Weekend Traveler View Post
I wish my husband and I could spend our holidays with people we like but so far no one has a backbone and does not want to create waves. Every Thanksgiving and Christmas I get together with some relatives we have been seeing on Holidays since I was a little girl. Every year the conversation is more strained, more rolling eyes, embarrassed looks, long silences, and a general feeling of being ill at ease.

A week before the Holiday we get a call asking us when we are coming over and we always make arrangements. How can we stop the madness? Can you relate? Does this happen to you?

This year wear your Halloween mask, then they'll have a real reason for all the above, Just maybe you''l not be invited next year. Problem solved.
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Old 05-13-2009, 06:57 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,225 posts, read 25,214,012 times
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No. In my ripe "old age", I will no longer subject myself or my kids to people we don't want to see. For this very reason some sh*t may be coming down the pike pretty soon and I'll be threatened with divorce again because I refuse to bend to his will. This time, I'm not gonna grovel and "be a good wife", if he wants to file - he can knock himself out!

Yeah, a little cryptic, I know.
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Old 05-13-2009, 08:08 PM
 
Location: Lake Norman, NC
5,939 posts, read 6,780,236 times
Reputation: 27550
I'm a peace keeper and I go through the motions of holiday visits simply to keep peace around here.

However, I do put my foot down in one area. I require these holiday visits are done on a day trip versus staying over and having more than one day of fun!
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Old 05-13-2009, 08:16 PM
 
9,689 posts, read 6,930,675 times
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you should not have to go if you don't have a good time. if you do go you shouldn't go every year. have the holidays at your own home, invite them if it will make you feel better. if they don't come that will tell you how much they value your company and can be a good measurement if you want to bother going to their place the next year
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