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Old 07-22-2009, 07:05 PM
 
Location: Ohio
751 posts, read 1,457,969 times
Reputation: 656

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I think the best way to come out of that kind of situation/cirmcumstance is to forgive him/her and just move on.In this way you are not only good to that person but it's good yourself too.For me unless whatever happened seems diliberately malicious,I find it pretty easy to forgive that person and let it go.This is not because I may be any kind of a wonderful person or anything.It's just that I'm not the kind of person to hold a grudge towards anyone.I've found out along time ago that if I hold onto a grudge and feelings of anger and betrayal then I'm the one who goes around with my stomach in a knot and smoke coming out of my ears.I'm also giving that particular person the power over the situation as well.Trust is a very important part of any relationship.Once it's gone it's gone.You'll always be wondering when there will be a repeat of hurt that you're feeling now.It's great to forgive and we should all forgive because it's better for us than holding a grudge.BUT you will never forget. And there is nothing wrong with that either.Now if someone unintentionally hurts you that's different.But if someone does something to knowingly hurt you than you need to let him/her go and just move on.

There's an old saying: Burn me once shame on you,Burn me twice shame on me.
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Old 07-22-2009, 07:10 PM
 
Location: Omaha
2,716 posts, read 6,215,196 times
Reputation: 1221
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherie Tebo View Post

There's an old saying: Burn me once shame on you,Burn me twice shame on me.

I think you mean "fool me once"


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKgPY1adc0A
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Old 07-22-2009, 07:13 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,665 posts, read 74,620,384 times
Reputation: 48173
i do forgive em, and i love em, & im guna miss em.
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Old 07-22-2009, 07:14 PM
 
Location: Ohio
751 posts, read 1,457,969 times
Reputation: 656
Quote:
Originally Posted by That-Guy View Post
I think you mean "fool me once"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKgPY1adc0A
Oh lord that's funny but you can burn someone depending on how big your match is/was. LMAO
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Old 06-22-2013, 01:26 AM
 
Location: Earth :)
107 posts, read 99,734 times
Reputation: 184
If they have absolutely no remorse? No. And why should you "have to" forgive them? And the opposite is true. If they have remorse why shouldn't you forgive them? I struggle with the forgiving someone who never asked for forgiveness so you can internally "let it go" and in turn stop hurting based on this forgiveness. I really wish I could do this. Any suggestions on how?
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Old 06-22-2013, 01:28 AM
 
Location: So Cal
40,465 posts, read 39,980,557 times
Reputation: 41916
You give me a truly heart felt sorry and if I believe you.. I'll forgive most anything........
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Old 06-22-2013, 05:58 AM
 
Location: Europe
2,730 posts, read 2,084,662 times
Reputation: 4158
I have many people who betrayed me. I don't forgive. I only forgive for myself that I have to deal with that. Those people don't deserve forgiveness from me or any good actions from my side. I don't hold hate inside me but I don't give anything positive to them either.
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Old 06-22-2013, 08:44 AM
 
3,319 posts, read 3,021,758 times
Reputation: 4813
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
You give me a truly heart felt sorry and if I believe you.. I'll forgive most anything........
^ ^ ^ IF I believe you ^ ^ ^ that's key.

I certainly have made my share of mistakes, so I'm not oblivious to the fact that others make them as well. We are all human. And while it isn't comfortable to admit a mistake and re-hash it, during the apology, I would appreciate knowing why the action was taken to begin with. What was the plan/what were you thinking?

I have apologized for doing some lame-brain things - or letting my mouth get the best of me - but I never received an apology from anyone for something done to me, so actually hearing one would be a new twist in my life. LOL
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Old 06-22-2013, 10:43 PM
 
Location: Earth :)
107 posts, read 99,734 times
Reputation: 184
" I don't forgive. I only forgive for myself that I have to deal with that." Please share HOW you do this as I TOTALLY struggle with the how to do this part. Thanks
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Old 06-23-2013, 12:33 AM
 
Location: SNA=>PDX 2013
2,660 posts, read 3,050,698 times
Reputation: 3112
Nope. I couldn't and wouldn't forgive someone who betrayed me.

I have trusted one person in my entire life. So obviously I already have trust issues. You betray me, you are out of my life (unless I am forced to interact with you). I won't forgive you and I won't be bothered by it at all, because now I see them for who they are and move on with my life. I may be sad about how the relationship ended, but otherwise, I won't think about that person anymore, just not worth my time.
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