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Old 08-01-2009, 03:28 PM
 
Location: The Mango Tree
2,115 posts, read 4,342,164 times
Reputation: 2626

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There's a quote that goes something along the lines of "those who dance are considered insane by those who don't hear the music".

I feel like this a lot sometimes. I live in a small, Southern town but I wasn't raised in one. I'm young and often feel like I have nothing in common with my generation. 99% of the people that surround me here grew up here in a "bubble" and I grew up being exposed to the world thanks to my parents. Even my ethnicity is a jumble of different races - which I don't complain about since the results recieve great reviews lol

I get frustrated and confused sometimes because I always find myself thinking differently than the majority of the people around me. I've always been one to think that time is precious and you need to take advantage of it and get out there and DO instead if sitting around waiting for a sign or a door to open. This is a very cliche thing to say BUT I am ambitious. I'm okay with working hard and taking risks to achieve what I want. Having fun is great and I love having fun - everyone loves having fun - but that's not what defines me. I know I have a purpose in life and I know if I work hard enough I can achieve it. However, I start to question my outlook in life and my opinions sometimes because almost everyone around me looks at me like I'm "different" because I don't think like them. It's a constant battle between staying true to myself and conforming.

Sorry, I just needed to rant. I should mention that I have a few incredible and genuine individuals as my friends and they help me stay strong.
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Old 08-01-2009, 04:33 PM
 
Location: Texas
8,062 posts, read 15,733,254 times
Reputation: 3673
I feel the same way you do, Mango Tango. I'm not young, by your standards probably, LOL, but I was raised and grew to be an independent free-thinker. I've traveled widely, worked in a few different careers, and have loads of great experiences and memories under my belt. I now live in a pretty conservative city mostly populated and run by evangelical/conservative types.

On one hand, I do appreciate this city for being a good and safe place to live. In that respect, I do admire conservative values. Superficially speaking, people are friendly here and the pace is slower. I do like that.

However, it's difficult fitting in when you ARE highly educated, well-traveled, and independent of thought. Even though I am a Christian, I'm NOT of the fundamentalist/evangelical brand that's most popular here. LOL, they likely don't believe that most folks at my church are "real" Christians at all! Most people here marry relatively young, have more than a few kids, and are very set in their insular little groups. If they are at all interested in getting to know outsiders/newcomers, which is rare, they soon turn up their noses if you don't share exactly the same ideas/values.

I don't know what to tell you. It's tough. Like you, I have made friends with others who also moved here from elsewhere and don't share the propensity toward excluding those who are different from themselves. It is VERY difficult meeting men to date, though, and I still haven't figured that one out!
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Old 08-01-2009, 04:42 PM
 
Location: The Mango Tree
2,115 posts, read 4,342,164 times
Reputation: 2626
teatime: I feel you on the Christian thing! I am a Christian but I can't stand churches at all and prefer more intimate bible studies where there's zero judgement whatsoever and it's like a little family. "Relationship Not Religion" is how I see it.
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Old 08-01-2009, 04:55 PM
 
Location: Texas
8,062 posts, read 15,733,254 times
Reputation: 3673
Quote:
Originally Posted by mango tango View Post
teatime: I feel you on the Christian thing! I am a Christian but I can't stand churches at all and prefer more intimate bible studies where there's zero judgement whatsoever and it's like a little family. "Relationship Not Religion" is how I see it.
Actually, my church (Episcopal/Anglican) is where I was able to make friends!!! It's one of the few places where there aren't a bunch of phony fundies, LOL! Some of us are working on creating a social group for singles that will be welcoming and open to everyone so folks can feel comfortable about bringing other disenfranchised people who don't go to our church along with them.

We're thinking that if you don't fit into "society" then make your own!
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Old 08-01-2009, 05:42 PM
 
Location: The Mango Tree
2,115 posts, read 4,342,164 times
Reputation: 2626
Quote:
Originally Posted by teatime View Post
Actually, my church (Episcopal/Anglican) is where I was able to make friends!!! It's one of the few places where there aren't a bunch of phony fundies, LOL! Some of us are working on creating a social group for singles that will be welcoming and open to everyone so folks can feel comfortable about bringing other disenfranchised people who don't go to our church along with them.

We're thinking that if you don't fit into "society" then make your own!
I like that idea!

I don't have a problem making friends per se since I'm very friendly to everyone (life is short, spread the love ) but the question is more so making friends that I genuinely feel a connection to and would stay in contact with 10 years from now. I've had to purposefully distance myself from people because they were unconsciously sucking the life out of me!
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Old 08-01-2009, 06:08 PM
 
Location: Beautiful Pelham Pkwy (da Bronx)
966 posts, read 2,020,423 times
Reputation: 547
I sure can relate, mango tango. Life on Planet Earth is no picnic, at times. Sometimes, even reading some of the Relationship posts (as much as I love this forum) leaves me feeling frustrated and hopeless. Like "wtf," right? Then I remember that a big part of the picture, being "different" myself, is to try to remain compassionate and openminded, and hoping for the same in return when I express my supposedly "weird" ideas. E.g. equality in relationships. Go figure.

Sometimes I think I might seriously be an extraterrestrial.

(P.S.--I am also a dechurched Christian. I study, pray, meditate, listen for guidance, and connect with other mystics and believers. But it would take a whole lot for me to get involved in organized religion ever again.)
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Old 08-01-2009, 07:03 PM
 
4,379 posts, read 4,195,064 times
Reputation: 1612
I think just accept that it takes all sorts who make up the world.

One cannot control what others think, so just live your own life, and let others believe as they wish.
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Old 08-01-2009, 07:15 PM
 
Location: down south
514 posts, read 1,395,403 times
Reputation: 637
if you don't feel fit in, then don't, don't even try. Friends and relationship are way overrated. Yeah, it's nice to have them, but it's in no way an absolute requirement in life. I will try to be friendly to anybody I meet, but if after a few tries, they don't reciprocate, I'll simply stop trying. Focus on improving yourself and do what you need to do/want to do to not only make you happy, but also make your feel worthy of yourself. I know what I feel might be a backlash reaction to my social isolation, I used to fret or even get angry over the social treatment I received, now I don't and I feel pretty good. I might be different, I might be pathetic, I might be on my way to extinction because of my lack of compatibility with large swath of the society, if you don't like me for whatever reason, I won't be your friend or anything else. I can still enjoy life living alone with only a book or a laptop on my desk.
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Old 08-02-2009, 09:00 AM
 
Location: The Jar
20,026 posts, read 13,482,352 times
Reputation: 36623
Quote:
Originally Posted by mango tango View Post
There's a quote that goes something along the lines of "those who dance are considered insane by those who don't hear the music".

I feel like this a lot sometimes. I live in a small, Southern town but I wasn't raised in one. I'm young and often feel like I have nothing in common with my generation. 99% of the people that surround me here grew up here in a "bubble" and I grew up being exposed to the world thanks to my parents. Even my ethnicity is a jumble of different races - which I don't complain about since the results recieve great reviews lol

I get frustrated and confused sometimes because I always find myself thinking differently than the majority of the people around me. I've always been one to think that time is precious and you need to take advantage of it and get out there and DO instead if sitting around waiting for a sign or a door to open. This is a very cliche thing to say BUT I am ambitious. I'm okay with working hard and taking risks to achieve what I want. Having fun is great and I love having fun - everyone loves having fun - but that's not what defines me. I know I have a purpose in life and I know if I work hard enough I can achieve it. However, I start to question my outlook in life and my opinions sometimes because almost everyone around me looks at me like I'm "different" because I don't think like them. It's a constant battle between staying true to myself and conforming.

Sorry, I just needed to rant. I should mention that I have a few incredible and genuine individuals as my friends and they help me stay strong.
I will speak to you in song. You are not alone!

YouTube - Dolly Parton - Coat of many colors

YouTube - Jim Croce - I Got a Name (1973)

YouTube - "Games People Play" - Joe South - 1969

YouTube - Five Man Electrical Band - Signs

YouTube - Radiohead Creep Acoustic Flash

YouTube - Depeche Mode- People Are People (Official Video)
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Old 08-02-2009, 09:03 AM
 
Location: In my skin
8,774 posts, read 13,660,879 times
Reputation: 8658
Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a bunch of potatoes.
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