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Location: Concrete jungle where dreams are made of.
8,900 posts, read 15,937,156 times
Reputation: 1819
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Ok, so here's my story and some background information. It's a bit lengthy though--
I love being friends with those much older than my age because I feel I have a lot more in common with them. My family has always told me I'm like a grandma stuck in a younger person's body and an old soul. I get along a lot better with those a lot older than me, so I really love making older friends.
Now onto the story...
I took the subway to work this past year. There was this guy smiling at me sometimes, and randomly one day he asked me if I were a teacher. Turns out he taught about 3 stops from my school. We began talking nearly everyday if we saw one another. He'd go out of his way on the train to come talk to me. Sometimes I felt he was being overly friendly, which made me uncomfortable since I was engaged to get married (Got married a month ago ). Turns out he's around 50, is married and has a younger teenage son. He had told me he really wants to transfer out of his school because of the bad Principal, so he tried really hard to get into my school. I gave him my email so he could send his resume. I responded back to him asking if he wants to hand-deliver it to my Principal. He responded back that night telling me to call him and gave me his cell and home number...I thought, ok...this is a little strange I don't know why he couldn't just say ok, see you tomorrow in the email (wouldn't it seem strange for a 25 year old woman calling a 50 year old married guy at night anyway?). I didn't call because I felt that was strange. He asked me the following morning why I didn't call him, so I told him it was late or whatever. Maybe I'm taking that in the wrong way, but it just seems weird to me. There were also a lot of occasions where he was obviously "looking" at me. It was flattering, but felt a little uncomfortable. We talked about regular things; like music, the economy, teaching, etc. Every now and then we'd talk in e-mail if we hadn't seen one another for a week or so on the train. No big deal. He made it seem like I'm a lot different from most girls my age since I'm pretty old fashioned. But this is why I like being friends those older than I am, because they're into the things I am. I also invited him and his family to my championship ice hockey game, but he didn't come. he had shown an interest in women's hockey, so I figured I'd invite him and his family. Anyway, towards the end of the year he was saying how he was going to miss talking to me, and that if he transferred to my school, we'd be able to talk all the time. That was another strange thing that was said. He had mentioned it a couple times. I told him how I was getting married (well, I told him that really early on) and how we just bought a house on the island, so I wouldn't be doing that commute next year. He was pretty saddened by this and kept bringing up how much he was going to miss talking to me. It was a nice thing to say, but he seemed to say it a lot. I mentioned how my best friend lives downtown, so when I go to visit her, we could meet for lunch or something. He changed the topic on me and didn't say anything in response, strange. He told me he would keep in touch through email. I emailed him at the beginning of the summer asking how his transfer search was going, but never received a response so far all summer. I sent pictures from the honeymoon and wedding to him and a couple others who didn't come, but he never responded either. Just yesterday I sent another link of pictures and wrote to the others (who are coworkers) to respond back and tell me how they've been doing this summer. He responded back saying the wedding pictures are beautiful and that he hopes everything is going well. Finally!! Is it that hard to write an email? lol. It's just strange how he just stopped talking when he kept saying how he wants to keep in touch.
My newlywed husband is amazing and knows I'm friends with those older than me, along with guys, and doesn't mind. He wouldn't mind if I went to meet him since he knows of him. I told him about how he stopped responding and my friend told me he was probably looking to hook up but to no avail. He agreed that's what it seems like.
So what do you think his intentions were? I've been wondering. Does he really care about being friends?
I'm thinking maybe he thinks his wife would think it's weird how he's talking to a fairly attractive 25 year old girl?? I don't know, but I think that's a dumb thing to do. Who cares who your spouse hangs out with? But the thing is, we weren't really acquaintances; we became pretty good friends.
It's just so unfortunate that there's such a negative portrayal of older guys being friends with younger women. People automatically assume you're having an affair. It's such a shame, because he's a cool friend.
Seems to me that a lot of people in their 20's are still pretty immature and irresponsible, and all they want to do is "go out and have fun". I can't say I was ever that way...I've always been pretty reserved. Definitely willing to sit at home and relax, and not have to be around a bunch of other people. You know, that's the problem with introverts--it's so hard to meet, because we're all busy NOT meeting other people.
There's nothing either wrong or unusual with having friends of all ages. What boggles my mind is that the main thrust of your post is wondering why this particular man "friend" cooled the relationship. It sticks out like a sore thumb throughout your post and you can't see it?
Everything he did and said pointed to the inescapable fact that he was looking for a relationship with you (and not a platonic one, either!) Hope ceased to spring eternal when you sent him your wedding pics. You need to back off this one.
Location: Concrete jungle where dreams are made of.
8,900 posts, read 15,937,156 times
Reputation: 1819
Quote:
Originally Posted by STT Resident
Everything he did and said pointed to the inescapable fact that he was looking for a relationship with you (and not a platonic one, either!) Hope ceased to spring eternal when you sent him your wedding pics. You need to back off this one.
You really think it's that obvious? I thought maybe I was reading him wrong. That kind of makes me mad...when you find a person who's fun to talk to, they want something else from you
Location: Concrete jungle where dreams are made of.
8,900 posts, read 15,937,156 times
Reputation: 1819
There's another older man I'm friends with. He was my counselor at my college, and I kept in touch with him and he came to my wedding (this other friend I'm writing about didn't come when I invited him). He & his wife are really happy, but at one time he told me "If I were your age, I would have married you." lol But it's been fine being friends with him. This other guy...don't know about him!
But if he really wanted that (the guy I'm posting about), wouldn't he want to meet for lunch while I'm in the city visiting another friend? I meant it in a friends way, but you would think he'd want to.
I didn't read your post, but I can tell you that older men are happy to have sex with a woman half their age. Please don't expect a healthy heterosexual male to be a best girlfriend.
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). Turns out he's around 50, is married and has a younger teenage son. He had told me he really wants to transfer out of his school because of the bad Principal, so he tried really hard to get into my school. I gave him my email so he could send his resume. I responded back to him asking if he wants to hand-deliver it to my Principal. He responded back that night telling me to call him and gave me his cell and home number...I thought, ok...this is a little strange 
I don't know why he couldn't just say ok, see you tomorrow in the email (wouldn't it seem strange for a 25 year old woman calling a 50 year old married guy at night anyway?). I didn't call because I felt that was strange. He asked me the following morning why I didn't call him, so I told him it was late or whatever. Maybe I'm taking that in the wrong way, but it just seems weird to me. There were also a lot of occasions where he was obviously "looking" at me. It was flattering, but felt a little uncomfortable. We talked about regular things; like music, the economy, teaching, etc. Every now and then we'd talk in e-mail if we hadn't seen one another for a week or so on the train. No big deal. He made it seem like I'm a lot different from most girls my age since I'm pretty old fashioned. But this is why I like being friends those older than I am, because they're into the things I am. I also invited him and his family to my championship ice hockey game, but he didn't come. he had shown an interest in women's hockey, so I figured I'd invite him and his family. Anyway, towards the end of the year he was saying how he was going to miss talking to me, and that if he transferred to my school, we'd be able to talk all the time. That was another strange thing that was said. He had mentioned it a couple times. I told him how I was getting married (well, I told him that really early on) and how we just bought a house on the island, so I wouldn't be doing that commute next year. He was pretty saddened by this and kept bringing up how much he was going to miss talking to me. It was a nice thing to say, but he seemed to say it a lot. I mentioned how my best friend lives downtown, so when I go to visit her, we could meet for lunch or something. He changed the topic on me and didn't say anything in response, strange. He told me he would keep in touch through email. I emailed him at the beginning of the summer asking how his transfer search was going, but never received a response so far all summer. I sent pictures from the honeymoon and wedding to him and a couple others who didn't come, but he never responded either. Just yesterday I sent another link of pictures and wrote to the others (who are coworkers) to respond back and tell me how they've been doing this summer. He responded back saying the wedding pictures are beautiful and that he hopes everything is going well. Finally!! Is it that hard to write an email? lol. It's just strange how he just stopped talking when he kept saying how he wants to keep in touch. 
