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The kids seem to like you. But you need to tell them that you wont be opening the door anymore when they come knocking. They obviously do need attention and the tea excuse is just that. Tell them you are busy and wont be opening the door anymore from now on. Sometimes when you ignore them and tell them that you won't do what they want, they will accept it and stop infringing on your personal time.
Mea culpa Couldn't resist this. Starring Antlered Chamataka and Miu in C/Dville.
<knock> <knock>
"What?"
"Can I get a can of intellidrink?"
"No, and don't knock on my door ever again "
"You look really young"
""
"Ok, see you in 30 minutes"
"No, wait"
Seconds later:
"Two cans , one for you and one for your brother, and next time you knock, just you, no cigarettes "
Relationships include dealing with neighbors, too, right? I hope so, because I need some advice and to vent.
My next-door neighbors have lived here a bit more than a year. It's a single mum and her four kids. I like the mum a lot and the youngest child is very sweet, too. I never see the oldest girl. But the middle kids are driving me crazy all of a sudden.
Not a day goes by when they're not knocking on my door for something. Their mom is at work so I don't think she realizes it. Once, the two middle kids came over to tell me that their mum was going out and she wanted me to babysit them. I told them I couldn't. Well, mum found out they did this and she called me to apologize -- she was NOT going out and she had NOT sent them over. She was really embarrassed. She's a disciplinarian and I'm sure the kids were punished.
The kids have come over recently to ask if I can give them sodas, to borrow my vacuum cleaner (like I would let kids haul my Dyson across two lawns!), to use the phone, etc. I've been telling them "no" every time, hoping it would stop the problem but it hasn't.
Today, they're having a party and they've already been over twice to ask me for things. I've told them "no." But I'm getting tired of the disruption every single day! Oftentimes, they're banging on the door when I have company. I have been more forceful in my reactions, literally telling them they need to buy their own stuff. It hasn't helped.
Now, I don't think the mum knows the extent of the problem but what if she does? I really don't want to be in a snit with neighbors. Do I speak with her about it and risk either becoming on bad terms with her if she knows about this or knowing that the kids may be severely punished if she doesn't know? Or do I ignore it and wait for that blessed day when school starts in about two weeks and the problem will resolve itself?
I understand your quandary and empathize. You're a nice person and, when it started, you felt sorry for the kids and felt that their mother might be a rather firm disciplinarian, she works long hours, etc.
But enough is enough so I'll tell you how to deal with it as I would.
My restaurant is not a place for either problematic adults or problematic children. In my early days in this business I went through a couple of incidents with parents who let their children run amok when even talking to the parents and advising them how their children were disruptive resulted in a half-hearted attempt at control which lasted all of ten minutes at most.
My "true self" went into action and I've never had a problem since I developed my "witch voice." Not that the witch voice wasn't always there but it was used very, very rarely... I'm more the "honey attracts" personnae.
Nancy Reagan's Just Say No where drugs were concerned was a bust. But "NO!" in a ferocious tone works wonders.
These are not your children and they're bothering you. The next time they come over and knock on your door, open it up, listen to them and then just BELLOW out, "NO!" Nothing else, just, "NO!" belted out loudly and clearly. Then shut the door.
STT,
I did bellow when I said, "NO! Go buy your own damn stuff!" Unfortunately, I've been "the sweet lady who lives next door" too long for it to have the desired effect.
BUT, after the last time they came over, I was outside and heard their mum yelling at them. They stayed in the house the rest of the evening! I'm thinking she may have found out that they were coming over repeatedly and she raised hell. I hope!
Temptation, I think I will refrain from answering the door if they persist. Good suggestion. I have a peep hole in the door to see who is there and I can peer discreetly behind my living room blinds, too. Hopefully, they won't come when the PT or nurse is here cuz it would be odd to ask those folks to peek discreetly for me!
I would casually say to the mother that her kids have been asking for some many items that you need money to help cover the expenses. She should get the hint and talk to her children. If that does not work, then I would tell the mother that you prefer her children not knock on your door UNLESS there is an absolute need or emergency.
You could always put the children to work, polishing the car, reshingling the roof, weeding the garden, and a myriad of other chores that need to be done, although they might have to fight the gardener for the weeding job. Seriously, tell them that they must enjoy visiting and you're happy to have them visit, at appropriate hours, but they have to help with chores around the house for which you'll supply them with tea, and of course some remuneration for a job well done. It might make for productive use for their time, and get some of your chores done at minimal expense.
They might be seeking you out as an easy touch, since they may not be permitted to have soda at home, for example. I doubt that their mother is putting them up to this, but talk to her and tell her that you'd be happy to have them as your chore brigade, and that they're welcome to come visit during "work hours," but not during other times of the day when you have scheduled appointments and things that you must do that cannot be interrupted, unless it's an absolute emergency.
I know it's frustrating that they're bothering you at all times of the day, but some children don't know any better, and don't see what they're doing as an imposition on somene else. You must be held in high regard since they are comfortable enough to come and knock on your door. That says something about you and the way they relate to you, so I don't think that you're being nasty at all to set boundaries, since that's a fundamental aspect of all stages of life. And, at least they're not trampling your flowers as they run by with a gang of hoodlums, so it might not be all bad.
__________________
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.
~William Shakespeare (As You Like It Act II, Scene VII)
It sounds to me that the children are very rude. - and the mother isn't much better. I think the next time it happens you need to call the mother and tell her that you intend not to open your door to the children at all. Additionally, if it continues call the police.
This may sound harsh but it's a crazy deal and it needs to end!
Best wishes.
It sounds to me that the children are very rude. - and the mother isn't much better. I think the next time it happens you need to call the mother and tell her that you intend not to open your door to the children at all. Additionally, if it continues call the police.
This may sound harsh but it's a crazy deal and it needs to end!
Best wishes.
Buy a fake rubber chicken, a bottle of ketchup, and a medium sized hemp rope.
Put the bottle of ketchup by the door. Tie the rope into a noose around the chickens neck.
Next time they knock, quickly grab the rope (chicken attached), put a gracious amount of slightly runny ketchup on the chicken, and answer the door.
Make sure they get a good view of the "bloody chicken", and then in a calm, slow voice explain that you were in the middle of your sacrificial obligations to the heathen god Jambalaya. Explain that you usually use children, but there wasn't any present at the time.
Laugh maniacally as they quickly run away.
Also works for door-to-door salespeople and those too-pushy religious people.
It sounds to me that the children are very rude. - and the mother isn't much better. I think the next time it happens you need to call the mother and tell her that you intend not to open your door to the children at all. Additionally, if it continues call the police.
This may sound harsh but it's a crazy deal and it needs to end!
Best wishes.
The police? Seriously? These children are not purposely trying to be rude, they just need attention. Obviously the mother doesn't play with them or they wouldn't be bothering teatime at her house at all hours of the day . Children are not ignorant. If you tell them that you are busy, but that you will see them at a time when you can, they wont bother you when they think you are free.
I feel bad for these poor children because if they were getting the attention and affection at home, they wouldn't be bothering the few people they do like and who pays attention to them.
What she could do, as she said she would, is not answer the door. Children will wait, but not forever. Eventually they will move on to their own miserable little house and play there, instead of bothering the lady with the sweet heart next door.
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Couldn't resist this. Starring Antlered Chamataka and Miu in C/Dville.
"
"
, one for you and one for your brother, and next time you knock, just you, no cigarettes 
W
