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Old 09-10-2009, 10:44 AM
 
Location: lala land
1,581 posts, read 2,030,328 times
Reputation: 1062

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Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
She probably figured that by accepting her friendship request, you had forgiven her. I had a friend do this to me a while back. Not on Facebook, but just over email. We had a falling out and then 3 months later, she emails like it's no big deal. No apologies. No acknowledgment of how much time had passed.

So what's the Facebook protocol for people like the one you just described? You add them as a friend, they snoop around your page and you around theirs, and then neither of you chat again. Do you just drop them? Seems kinda silly to keep them in your friends list if you know you'll never be talking to them again.
I have no idea of the protocol, this is all new to me as I was adamantly opposed to joining till very recently. I suspect the only reason she added me was because her husband added me first. Maybe that's why she made it a point to emphasize they were married? I was excited about the prospect of getting in touch with old friends until she contacted me. Now I'm kind of torn about the whole thing. I don't want her to be looking at my personal pictures, or knowing details about my life now. I will probably give it some time and then drop her. I left the friendship behind for a reason, and although I harbor no grudges, I do not consider her a friend and I don't think she deserves to know my private info. I have very close friends that I can turn to for anything, I don't need fake friends.

On the other hand, I have been able to get in contact with old friends I truly cherish. It has been very comforting to see that they are doing well and that they still remember and value our friendship. The first couple of days after I joined, it seemed like everyone showed up to tell me how much they missed me. It was a nice welcoming .
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Old 09-10-2009, 10:54 AM
 
Location: lala land
1,581 posts, read 2,030,328 times
Reputation: 1062
Quote:
Originally Posted by sms0511 View Post
That's very true -- some people use FB as a tool to brag about their lives and then to see how "oh so much better" their lives are in comparison to those that they don't particularly "like". Let me give you another twist to what I've observed in FB and/or myspace:

My female friend has a FB page, and we often message each other on there when we can. She would tell me that she has $$$ problems, and that right now, she, her husband, and her 1 yr. old child are living in the basement of her folks' 6-bedroom house, etc. So basically, she's struggling, but out to improve her life and her new family's life.

Then she added her EXboyfriend (from high school), to which he accepted the friend request, because he thought, well, it's been nearly 11 years since they broke up, so no harm, no foul, right?

True, but then my friend uses her FB page to lie about how much better her life is, in comparison to him. (since his page is noted public, I was able to see his page, including her comments to him). When I looked up her comments on his page, she lied to him that she OWNS a 6-bedroom house (actually, she is living under her folks' house, in the basement), that she's earning $80K working as post office clerk in "po dunk town" of no where, and that she's out to buy townhome complex for property investment purposes (actually, she's having $$$ problems as she is now).

Yep, you're right -- who needs to go to class reunions, when you can lie about how much better your life is in comparison to others, on FB?
I feel odd telling people about my life for some reason. I've always felt that the people who need to know, already do, because they're by my side (well not literally, but you know what I mean). I normally just go on there to joke around with close friends and look at their updated pictures. I don't feel the need to compare or snoop. I don't see the point.

But I have noticed that people do lie. Which seems odd to me. I would rather not say anything than lie, seems silly. Like on myspace for example, people will exagerate their incomes, sometimes stating 3x more than what they make. Why? Why not just avoid answering the question?

But I think its the whole showy or competitive mentality.
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Old 09-10-2009, 11:59 AM
 
25,156 posts, read 27,058,349 times
Reputation: 34336
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
I was just responding to your post which sounded like an attack.



Imagined slight? So if someone I knew from high school who treated me like crap suddenly requests to add me as a friend, I'm supposed to say "all's forgiven, let's be buddies now?" Or how bout the ex-girlfriend who cheated on me? Should I accept her friend request too. Yes, you can be charitable about other people's motivations. But some people don't deserve second chances.
Well, as to the first, people change a great deal after they leave high school. I've reconnected with any number of people from high school and found that they've pretty much sloughed off all that baggage and become better people. After all, aren't all teenagers self-absorbed a-holes in some way or another?

As far as the cheating girlfriend, that's a different story. But just rejecting people outright because you haven't heard from them in years is something else entirely.
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Old 09-10-2009, 12:37 PM
 
7,483 posts, read 8,415,258 times
Reputation: 6280
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
But just rejecting people outright because you haven't heard from them in years is something else entirely.
I would take it on a case-by-case basis. But in most cases, if I lost touch with someone, there's was a very good reason for it. I'm not one of those people who drifts apart from friends or becomes too busy for them.
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Old 09-11-2009, 07:23 AM
 
Location: Texas
28,114 posts, read 23,778,550 times
Reputation: 33715
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
I'm not one of those people who drifts apart from friends or becomes too busy for them.

I'm really impressed by that. It's a tough thing to do. I have moved often and so have people I have known and connected with. It became hard to keep in touch with everyone more than a few times a year. That's why although I'm not the type to normally do social websites, I really appreciate facebook for being a neat little tool to bring us more regular contact.

As to people being a-holes in the past - I have discovered that some of them have really changed (we're not who we were 15 years ago in high school), and I appreciate the ones who have forgiven me for any way I behaved when I was just a kid.
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