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Old 11-20-2009, 08:17 AM
 
3,788 posts, read 6,676,002 times
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Honestly, just give a cordial hello and thats it. I wouldn't let it eat at you. I have a neighbor and we say hi when we see each other and have a brief conversation. So when he joined my company, I figured I would extend an invitation to have lunch with him there. Was just trying to be friendly that was all. But he sidestepped it by saying he's busy, etc.... Whatever. It wasn't anything I did, its him. Fine, he doesn't want to bother with me, so I won't bother with him. He ended up leaving the company and I still see him at home but all I do is say hi and if we have a brief chat, that is it. I can tell he's not looking to make friends so I won't force the issue and I won't get upset. I've got better things to do with my life like going to the bathroom.
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Old 11-20-2009, 08:21 AM
 
6,764 posts, read 19,293,969 times
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People are weird. Accept it and you will be a happier, if lonelier person.
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Old 11-20-2009, 08:57 AM
 
4,247 posts, read 9,157,820 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by andreaspercheron View Post
It's not even YOUR friend, it's a friend of a friend, if they don't show up, who cares? Was it rude to be invited, accept and then not show? Sure, it was rude but here again, if this isn't someone you are around all the time and know well, you can't possibly predict their behavior.
Right, but it's not a good sign. I am even rethinking Thanksgiving now.

I have a friend coming to see me tomorrow. I've known him for 10 years. He planned to be alone on Thanksgiving so I think I am just going to spend it with him alone. He's a known entity and right now that works for me.
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Old 11-20-2009, 09:01 AM
 
4,247 posts, read 9,157,820 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheImportersWife View Post
Did you ask this woman directly where the funds were going and whom the check should be made out to?

She may very well have good intentions, just didn't know how to run the money aspect of it.


Do you trust your friend's judgements when it comes to friends?
No, I did not. Truth is $25 is more than I would ever spend for a T-Shirt and, quite frankly, it's a ridiculous amount. The whole thing seems icky to me.

My friend is on the verge of homelessness as I see it (if she doesn't get a grip soon) and insists on taking her roommate with her. I am willing to put her up, but not him. The whole thing isn't a good situation, yet my friend has a heart of gold.

The old saying - it's easier to drag someone down than to lift someone up comes to mind and right now I have my own problems.
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Old 11-20-2009, 09:03 AM
 
Location: Incognito
7,001 posts, read 18,174,395 times
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If I were you I would make a special dish filled with castor oil especially for her if she decides to show up. Other than that screw her!
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Old 11-20-2009, 09:05 AM
 
4,247 posts, read 9,157,820 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
Yes.....see below



Ordinarily I'd let something like this fly by, but who are you to judge another's relationship with relationships like this of your own? Possibly she found out about YOU and doesn't think so hightly of you. Can I get in trouble for sending something to someone's workplace against their wishes?
Thursday, just what is your issue? You seem to be in these threads constantly. You vacillate between being a reasonable person to someone with an axe to grind. I don't get it. Oh, and how is it you go digging up other threads? Frankly, it's downright WEIRD. Honestly, OCD much?
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Old 11-20-2009, 09:47 AM
 
4,379 posts, read 4,277,249 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by movin'on View Post
Huh? I don't follow. She really isn't that important at all, but it's not every day I run into someone like this.

Something else that bugs me - we both belong to this same women's group. She took it upon herself to create these T-Shirts we are supposed to buy for $25? Check made payable to her? Then she flips things and says check made payable to women's group, although the flyer says check made payable to her? It doesn't pass the smell test. Oh well, there are all kinds of people out there. I just don't buy a T-Shirt. Shrug.

I really like my friend. It's just I am not sure I should associate with my friend's friends, which makes things tricky.
i still don't see the issue.

just be civil and let it slide.
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Old 11-20-2009, 10:02 AM
 
4,247 posts, read 9,157,820 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by samston View Post
i still don't see the issue.

just be civil and let it slide.

This issue is a lot of enmeshment I am not used to.

I think the idea is civility plus distance = everything ok.
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Old 11-20-2009, 10:04 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,671 posts, read 55,623,413 times
Reputation: 26421
Quote:
Originally Posted by movin'on View Post
Right, but it's not a good sign. I am even rethinking Thanksgiving now.

I have a friend coming to see me tomorrow. I've known him for 10 years. He planned to be alone on Thanksgiving so I think I am just going to spend it with him alone. He's a known entity and right now that works for me.
Is this a private Thanksgiving dinner you're going to and to which this woman has also been invited? I don't understand for the life of me why you would "rethink" those plans at all - and possibly put out a host who's counting on your being there. You were miffed that this person didn't attend YOUR dinner but now you'd consider going ahead and doing pretty much what she did?

I think you're making way too much of all this and over-analyzing it to death. This person doesn't have good manners, obviously, but to make a Federal case out of it is really quite silly.
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Old 11-20-2009, 10:13 AM
 
1,891 posts, read 3,837,000 times
Reputation: 1463
Let it go. This person either has bad manners, is flaky, doesn't like you, resents you for your good looks, envies your money, is arrogant and finds you beneath her, doesn't wish for your friendship, who knows? And who cares?

Not everybody we reach out to will reciprocate. Reaching out once is no error. To keep offering when the recipient does nothing but to refuse is to turn ourselves into beggars. Know your value and worth, dust off your feet, and move on.
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