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Old 11-21-2009, 02:52 AM
 
4,247 posts, read 9,109,884 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
First, no one hunted through your posts. I posted in that ridiculous thread, the post was in my own and the thread was still on the second page of the forum at that time - so no one hunted or stalked it was a matter of days not months or years it was right there.

You are more than a bit 'stalkish' as displayed in that thread of threats, stalking and harassment of your ex like even quoting a line from Fatal Attraction. Off the charts and you talk about manners and proper decorum???




And I, and maybe she, don't have any patience for stalking harassers that exhibit extremely unstable behavior. It never occurs to you that the things you post and say may be extremely disturbing to others and it may be YOUR behavior and personality - not someone else's.
What is your personal issue here? You obviously don't seek to help, rather harass and the like. Furthermore, Thursday, you say you have no patience for stalking harassers? Stop stalking my posts. Get over it and move on to another thread. Not interested in your "helpful" input. Thanks and have a great day!

Last edited by movin'on; 11-21-2009 at 03:17 AM..
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Old 11-21-2009, 02:56 AM
 
4,247 posts, read 9,109,884 times
Reputation: 1452
Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode View Post
You didn't feel quilty until she didn't show after your invitation.
Puzzling.
Forums are so limited. Let me make this clear. I do NOT like feeling judgmental. At the same time, I could open my home to anyone with a problem and end up with a HUGE problem myself. There is a BOUNDARY there I need to maintain.

Everyone has good and bad qualities. I choose to keep former drug users out of my life, EXCEPT for my friend, as she has so many other redeeming qualities. I just have to get past her crossing the line with my friend of ten years. I feel sorry for current and former drug users, but it is what is it. It's beyond the scope of what I want to take on.
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Old 11-21-2009, 03:00 AM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
15,539 posts, read 22,533,194 times
Reputation: 17164
Quote:
Originally Posted by movin'on View Post
Forums are so limited. Let me make this clear. I do NOT like feeling judgmental. At the same time, I could open my home to anyone with a problem and end up with a HUGE problem myself. There is a BOUNDARY there I need to maintain.

Everyone has good and bad qualities. I choose to keep former drug users out of my life, EXCEPT for my friend, as she has so many other redeeming qualities. I just have to get past her crossing the line with my friend of ten years. I feel sorry for current and former drug users, but it is what is it. It's beyond the scope of what I want to take on.
Absolutely, keeping you boundries clear, you are out of that scene,
theres nothing judgmental about that, you just do what you have to do
so they don't take you down with them.
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Old 11-21-2009, 03:03 AM
 
4,247 posts, read 9,109,884 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode View Post
Absolutely, keeping you boundries clear, you are out of that scene,
theres nothing judgmental about that, you just do what you have to do
so they don't take you down with them.
EXACTLY. That is my fear, that I'll get taken down - not that I'd ever try meth or crack, which I have been offered several times. I know what comes with that - an horrendous addiction and potential prison time. I just don't want that element in my life. My friend has a great heart, however, so I am on the fence. How much do I help vs. how much do I distance myself?
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Old 11-21-2009, 03:19 AM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
15,539 posts, read 22,533,194 times
Reputation: 17164
Quote:
Originally Posted by movin'on View Post
EXACTLY. That is my fear, that I'll get taken down - not that I'd ever try meth or crack, which I have been offered several times. I know what comes with that - an horrendous addiction and potential prison time. I just don't want that element in my life. My friend has a great heart, however, so I am on the fence. How much do I help vs. how much do I distance myself?
Like I told you earlier in a post, they wouldn't even get an invite to my house.
If that judgmental so be it. I have a family member with an in-law, she was
on crack and other substances, so there was no way (because she was family)
that she could leave her out of the picture, until every holiday
the girl was at there house something was missing. Money, jewelry you name
it, she finally had to bring it to a stop, and there where hurt feelings,
but this is the lifestyle of an addict. No one should have to tolerate it.
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Old 11-21-2009, 03:25 AM
 
4,247 posts, read 9,109,884 times
Reputation: 1452
Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode View Post
Like I told you earlier in a post, they wouldn't even get an invite to my house.
If that judgmental so be it. I have a family member with an in-law, she was
on crack and other substances, so there was no way (because she was family)
that she could leave her out of the picture, until every holiday
the girl was at there house something was missing. Money, jewelry you name
it, she finally had to bring it to a stop, and there where hurt feelings,
but this is the lifestyle of an addict. No one should have to tolerate it.
Ok, what about a reformed addict? I still don't want that element in my life unless there are extraordinary factors going on - i.e. someone with a past that demonstrates they "just got caught up in" addiction. These are the shades of gray. I cannot very well toss out someone who was a world class runner as I can a guy who became homeless over drugs and didn't want responsibility. Yet this is the same social group! My friend was a world class runner and has REAL issues, yet surrounds herself with those I don't want to. I accept them all or none, it would seem. Right now I am just distancing myself.
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Old 11-21-2009, 03:34 AM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
15,539 posts, read 22,533,194 times
Reputation: 17164
You have distance from it, even if it a friend of a friend, it seems cold,
but the girl did you a favor when she declined to come along for dinner,
so accept it as a blessing rather than hurt feelings.
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Old 11-21-2009, 03:40 AM
 
4,247 posts, read 9,109,884 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode View Post
You have distance from it, even if it a friend of a friend, it seems cold,
but the girl did you a favor when she declined to come along for dinner,
so accept it as a blessing rather than hurt feelings.
My feelings aren't hurt Virgode, rather I am potentially both very concerned over and miffed with my world class runner friend. She is so bright and so on the edge. She surrounds herself with these people I do NOT want in my life. How can I help her without getting sucked into the whole deal? These are my concerns. I do not understand how this very bright woman can live like this.

They say addicts bottom and surround themselves with lower companions. Well, I see this in action. I just don't know what to do. These are her CORE friends. I just feel like I've no choice but to completely distance myself. With each post I just feel like there is no other way.
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Old 11-21-2009, 04:28 AM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
15,539 posts, read 22,533,194 times
Reputation: 17164
Remain friends without getting sucked into her choices for other friendship, especially if its long term, (which I believe you did mention) would be to keep it on a one on one.

If you have to be honest and tell her the truth, I'm certain you know how to go about this without offensiveness.
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Old 11-23-2009, 07:18 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,671 posts, read 55,005,578 times
Reputation: 26405
Quote:
Originally Posted by movin'on View Post
...It is odd to go hunt through someone else's posts unless there is a compelling reason to do so - as a shrink might do. None of us are shrinks and, quite frankly, STT, I'd consider myself to be a bit "stalkerish" to go look through your post history. While you are a valued contributor here, you are simply not that important to me personally - as should be the case. ...
Reference the above and your "stalking" comments, I'd just like to draw your attention to a post of yours, viz:

"You are very harsh and were so in another thread and were called on your error. Perhaps you need to rethink your harshness. You seem to have a problem with harshness. Oh, and I can quote your error in that other thread, in case you are interested. In fact, just a cursory overview of your post history indicates this. Are you just very unhappy, and feel a need to be this way?"

Interesting. Have a joyful Thanksgiving wherever you decide to celebrate it.
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