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Old 11-07-2010, 07:27 PM
 
1 posts, read 1,532 times
Reputation: 10

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Man you aint got to put up with that, it aint that serious. Just like you found her you can find another.
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Old 06-30-2012, 01:04 AM
 
1 posts, read 1,219 times
Reputation: 12
Wink In laws not talking

We live in a very changed world of people and relationships. Inlaws are a breed of thier own. Dont subject yourself to being snobbed in fact dont be arround them at all. I tend to hang with like minded people with similar interests and personalities. I dont do stuck up inlaws. The best way to **** them off is to show them you are having a fantastic life without them and thier behaviour.
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Old 06-30-2012, 09:25 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
6,595 posts, read 2,463,276 times
Reputation: 26620
My In-Laws are toxic, socially retarded, mean spirited people. I would send DH up kicking and screaming alone to visit his parents. I went to his fathers funeral and had to deal with the "Oh, you're here" comments. I was very polite and said yes that I was there to support my husband and I'm sorry for your loss and I walked away. I've only seen my MIL since. That was about 10 yrs. ago. I suspect when she passes I will only have to deal with them one more time. Life is to short to have to deal with that kind of negativity. I found it easy to walk away.
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Old 06-30-2012, 03:31 PM
 
5,398 posts, read 5,730,839 times
Reputation: 7162
My inlaw's were mean people. They liked to call up my husband and tell him things about his 2 kids who lived with his ex. "Oh, I heard this and that about your daughter." I couldn't figure out that type of behavior. My husband was always upset after talking to his mom/witch mother. The father was strange, too. Never called me by my first name until I was w/ my spouse for years. They didn't like "outsiders." Weird. My husband had major problems w/ both. We moved far away and it solved most problems. Then, we figured we'd move farther and that did it again. Now, we came back East cuz they're both gone.
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Old 07-03-2012, 07:13 AM
 
Location: Warren, OH
1,728 posts, read 1,372,491 times
Reputation: 3155
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingler View Post
I think you should charm them with your "small" talk and engage them in daily banter!

It should work!
===========================================
Most people I talk to seem to enjoy my ability at small talk, except the in laws.
I'm sure that they do. You sound like a perfectly nice person. The problem is theirs not yours.
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Old 07-03-2012, 09:23 PM
 
11,921 posts, read 11,186,526 times
Reputation: 19127
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingler View Post
My wife's family does not communicate with me. When I try to talk to them I usually get a grunt, a bored look, or at best- a one word answer to my comments. It is painful. My wife's relationship with her her family is not so great either.

Though it always seems like we are forced to get involved in different family activities. Each are more painful than the next. I can just feel the tension in the air. They really do not like me but are to polite and formal to actually say it verbally. (I have tried to be nice, but it does not work). I do not think talking to them about it would work.

I am looking for feedback from people who do not get along with their in-laws. How do you handle the situation?
I think that their treatment of you is abusive. I have no doubt that you try hard, are friendly and likeable. The problem is theirs, not yours.

Unfortunately, in-law rejection can wreck havoc in a marriage. And I am no stranger to it.My husband and I decided to cut them out of our life rather than have me continue to grovel for acceptance and to be treated respectfully.

It was never going to happen and it never will.

We finally moved and left no forwarding address.With the aid of a private detective, they tracked us down. We still have'nt seen them, We send holiday cards, but that's about it.
They even play games with my children.

Please do yourself a favor and remove yourself from this toxic situation.

I wish you the best and I hope that your wife understands that this is serious and unexceptionable
It has nothing to do with blood, but everything to do with love.
Would you let your wife be subjected to this treatment by your family? If you love her, you would not, and she will not permit this atrocious behavior to continue.

Best of luck to you.
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Old 02-27-2015, 01:51 PM
 
2 posts, read 231 times
Reputation: 10
My in-laws treat me like I am insignificant, even though I have completely supported their sibling for the last 5 years. I am an educated person, no-nonsense, decent, upstanding person with a career. Their career is to collect disability and free healthcare, food stamps, pain medications, and stick up their nose at me. It must be reverse snobbery. If anyone should be a snob, it is me. I am thinking about becoming one in the future, I would be better off that way, rather than trying to be nice to those low-life, uneducated, tin hat wearing nincompoops! It doesn't matter what I do, they will never acknowledge anything good about me, and if anything goes wrong, it will somehow be my fault. The only reason THAT makes sense is because I am the only one who actually does anything. What a bunch of mean, nasty, judgmental people they are. They are difficult to deal with for sure. They don't hesitate to rub my nose in whatever crap they can come up with, but I have finally drawn the line with them. I work anywhere from 50 to 70 hours a week. I pick up part-time gigs whenever I can so I am always between 2 and three jobs, one full time, and 2 freelance. My in-laws said that they might like me more if I came around more often and they could get to know me. The point I had just made with them was that I work 50 to 70 hours a week just to make ends meet, but they don't understand that because they sit on their fat behinds collecting a check. They have forgotten how hard working many hours can be, like I am supposed to take my Sunday afternoon and rush to "sit around" with them and stare at TV. Ugh. I let them know, I don't care if they ever get to know me, I will not kiss their behinds. Thank goodness I am not like them. I won't be going to any boring family events with them anymore, and since my spouse finally agrees after the last incident, too long to tell here, that I had a right to be pissed off, he no longer expects me to. Hallelujah!
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Old 02-27-2015, 03:04 PM
 
2,925 posts, read 3,093,437 times
Reputation: 4311
I do not have a problem with in laws but I do with my family of origin. I recently attended a wedding, locked eyes with an estranged brother who made a bold motion of sitting with his back to me. How did I handle it? I danced every dance, I made new friends with the strangers at my table and had a memorable time while he sat there like a slug. Go! Enjoy! They're going to talk about you anyway.
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Old 02-27-2015, 05:46 PM
 
3,981 posts, read 3,780,244 times
Reputation: 3295
Here's what occurs to me:

1. You can ask complex questions, even questions that might goad them, like "Do you have any ideas for what kind of car we should get next?" or "What do you think about Obama's speech?" In other words, don't just ask "How have you been?"

2. You can start with you being the talker about something very lively. Act as if you know you're interesting.

3. You can, since you mention your wife isn't so keen either, just avoid most of the gatherings. Agree with your wife that if after you skip a few and one of the relatives asks why, you'll politely say, "No one seems happy to see us or talk to us."
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Old 02-27-2015, 07:51 PM
 
Location: Lebanon, OH
3,413 posts, read 2,558,649 times
Reputation: 6486
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingler View Post
My wife's family does not communicate with me. When I try to talk to them I usually get a grunt, a bored look, or at best- a one word answer to my comments. It is painful. My wife's relationship with her her family is not so great either.

Though it always seems like we are forced to get involved in different family activities. Each are more painful than the next. I can just feel the tension in the air. They really do not like me but are to polite and formal to actually say it verbally. (I have tried to be nice, but it does not work). I do not think talking to them about it would work.

I am looking for feedback from people who do not get along with their in-laws. How do you handle the situation?
You should try to DM I'm Retired Now or Quick Thinker on this one.
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