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Old 02-18-2010, 06:21 AM
 
4,379 posts, read 4,481,712 times
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How about persons such as your mom, dad, brother, or step-dad (who isn't even a blood relative )?

They always ask me about work, which is frankly none of their business. Always about my hobbies, again none of their business.

Is it best to accommodate them (which in my opinion is nonsense, only weak people seek to be accommodated), or should there be explicit boundaries in life?

 
Old 02-18-2010, 06:24 AM
 
Location: Between Philadelphia and Allentown, PA
5,077 posts, read 13,077,068 times
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Are they asking in a friendly manner like, "Hi, so how's work, hows the family, hows this or that" or are they asking specific questions that you are feeling invaded by? If people are being ultra nosey just be straight and tell them that it's not their business.
 
Old 02-18-2010, 06:25 AM
 
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I don't think they hold the right to ask, period. I'm a grown man, I run my own life.
 
Old 02-18-2010, 06:29 AM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,951 posts, read 7,560,922 times
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Tell them that then.
Then they won't ask any more.

Quote:
Originally Posted by samston View Post
I don't think they hold the right to ask, period. I'm a grown man, I run my own life.
 
Old 02-18-2010, 06:30 AM
 
Location: My Private Island
4,941 posts, read 7,318,520 times
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Sounds like the typical questions relatives/friends ask. They care enough to ask about what's going on in your life. As long as they are not being sarcastic or mean about it I don't see why it upsets you so.
 
Old 02-18-2010, 06:31 AM
 
4,379 posts, read 4,481,712 times
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I don't like them questioning my motives. What is it to them why I do what I do?

I am me, with my own reasoning and moral values.
 
Old 02-18-2010, 06:32 AM
 
Location: CasaMo
15,492 posts, read 7,518,797 times
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I don't think its out of line to ask about work or hobbies. Its not like they're inquiring about your sex life or asking for your credit report.
 
Old 02-18-2010, 06:40 AM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,629 posts, read 9,703,348 times
Reputation: 11024
Quote:
Originally Posted by samston View Post
How about persons such as your mom, dad, brother, or step-dad (who isn't even a blood relative )?

They always ask me about work, which is frankly none of their business. Always about my hobbies, again none of their business.

Is it best to accommodate them (which in my opinion is nonsense, only weak people seek to be accommodated), or should there be explicit boundaries in life?
Why are you so defensive about it? Maybe they are just trying to make conversation with you. If my kids told me that NOTHING in their life was any of my business I'd be hurt. Luckily they don't feel that way. I am always interested in how they are doing.
 
Old 02-18-2010, 06:41 AM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
9,369 posts, read 18,033,669 times
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Paranoid much? Seems you're very emotionally detached from your family, so tell them straight out not to ask. What have you got to lose? You obviously don't appreciate their concern, tell them one time and it's done.
 
Old 02-18-2010, 06:49 AM
 
7,342 posts, read 16,664,195 times
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Funny, you very much sound like my wife's brother! Wife and I get along great with him because we don't pry into his business, very little anyway, and he likes that. He is now 59 yrs old and "one cool bro", as I like to describe him. Years ago he moved away from the family, five States away, so (in part) he wouldn't have to go thru the "question and answer" periods with them. In fact, eight years ago, we moved also (again, five States) in part to get away from the family. Since we moved, we have learned (and totally understand) why he moved! Depending on how a family treats you, it can be a real plus to live away from family......States away.
If they are continally asking about your life, just say two words to them..."it's fine". If they won't leave you alone and you just don't like them inquiring into your stuff, it may be time to "break the family tie" with them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by samston View Post
I don't think they hold the right to ask, period. I'm a grown man, I run my own life.
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