Anyone Nervous? (Clayton: new construction, taxes, living in)

[Ms.Charlotte]

Originally Posted by NYer

Every evening we have time to sit on our little porch & listen to the crickets.
These are the things that make a huge difference in our lives.
If you told me tomorrow that we will not be able to get that dream house but had to stay in this townhouse, we would be upset but our lives would still be better than back in NY.

Now, that's what I'm talking about! So glad you're happy here, too.

We do the same thing. Dinner with the whole family (what a change for us), hang out on our porch-watch the kids play. It doesn't get better than that.

[Ms.Charlotte]

Originally Posted by connie

I'll add one other thing. I appreciate the concerns of those in NC about life in NC, leaving family behind, that it's not utopia. I understand that it's a decision to be made soberly and that it won't "fix everything." I really do, and many posts do make me think. But I am an intelligent adult who, like probably most people on this forum, has done some research. I don't need to be warned against making a decision like this "on a whim." And I'm well aware of my own family dynamics in terms of grandparent relationships etc. Some posts make me feel like I'm a child looking for Disneyland, like I'm this amusing, gullible kid who has this terribly naive idea that NC will be candyland. Really, I think most of us are pretty smart and are making this decision carefully and deliberately. I'm sure there are some exceptions, just like new transplants in every state. If I had a nickel for every California newcomer who thinks he need only step outside and he'll be at the beach, where bikini-clad girls will ply him with drinks .... Not in Fresno, buster!

Well said, Connie. I lived in CA for a year, and have many relatives in the Fresno area (Gasp! They left us behind!)-I sure do understand your move!

[connie]

Originally Posted by jerseymom

Well said, Connie. I lived in CA for a year, and have many relatives in the Fresno area (Gasp! They left us behind!)-I sure do understand your move!

Well, it is sad leaving Fresno. This is the land of strip malls and I hate leaving here before enjoying the services of each and every nail salon and Chinese take-out. (I laugh when Charlotte is described as having lots of strip malls - not even close to Fresno's) I'm also going to miss the brown landscape that comes with dry, relentless heat - sure hope Charlotte doesn't have too many trees. In the winter, the fog is so heavy that sometimes we have 100 car pile ups on the freeway. That kind of excitement is hard to beat. I guess Nascar will have to do.

I will miss my house. It's one of those $800K "fixer uppers." Come to my house and it's like you've gone back to the 80's. It's only missing a disco ball in the living room. But it's in a great neighborhood, away from the gang warfare. The gangs are coming though, and it's only a matter of time before we'll have to pick which one we'll join. Hopefully my husband and I join the same one. Our backyard is pretty big, so I'm thinking that the meth lab shouldn't detract from the pool parties. I hate contributing to the drug problem, but what can you do with high property taxes and utility bills that look like house payments? Fortunately, California is pretty "understanding" about criminal activity, so I'm not too worried about it. Besides, jail is better than my husband and I staying at our current jobs, which we both hate so much that it's only a matter of time before one of us pushes our boss out the window, which wouldn't do much good since Fresno has only one story buildings. Have to think of something else ...

Yep ... sure will miss it here.

[mmdj43]

Originally Posted by jerseymom

I'm just curious as to what gives you that impression? Why do you think those of us who are moving or have moved don't expect NC to change? The fact is, many of us who are moving are sick and TIRED very tired of the way we are living now. You have been in NC for many years now. Do you have any idea what it's like to live in NJ, or LI, Staten Island, Brooklyn, and of course NYC? In NJ, a first time buyer has to cough up $400,000 to buy a half decent home with 2/3 bedrooms. In most of the better towns (better meaning a decent school system), you are lucky to get a town house for that kind of money.

I know that you are unhappy with the decision you've made, and I've read your comments over and over and over again without really flinching. But you struck a nerve when you mentioned that people who are happy moving must not feel close to their families. I have an incredibly tight extended family. We have never lived apart from eachother. But, I had to make the move. To see my husband drive 2 1/2 hours (min.) each way to get into Manhattan just so we could afford NJ is doing my own family an injustice. My husband and my children are more important to me that anyone else. I don't have to live and die where my extended family is.

I don't think of NC as some sort of utopia. It's close enough to drive back and forth to visit family in NJ, the weather is nice, the people are warm and wonderful, and yes, it is affordable.

I'd love to know what you would be doing if you were forced out of your beloved home town in NY. If you had to pay $500-600,000 for a 40 year old home, and then pay $8-10,000 a year in taxes, if you couldn't afford to stay there and had to choose a better life for your family or if you COULD afford it, but it required you to get up at 5:30 in the morning and get home at 9:00 at night. I'll tell you what you'd be doing. You'd be calling NC paradise.

.

Well said. And I'll add a little to that as well. What about the people who HAVE to leave because of a job situation? Out here (on Long Island) it is not easy finding another high paying job if we were to be laid off, so with the alternative being New York City. Jerseymom, I give your husband a lot of credit for making the commute into the city. My husband told me that if he had no other resort but to work in Manhattan, he would move out of state because the commute to/from the city would literally kill him. There are people out there that are moving because the jobs are not there that one is trying to get that would be a 'good fit' so they have no choice but to move. Or, people could be moving due to a job transfer. So it's not always by choice. Yes, NC is no utopia, but I don't think there is a state that even exists as that.

[Ms.Charlotte]

That was exactly our situation. My husband waslaid off and after months of searching for a position that would allow us to stay in our house, we kind of looked at eachother and said, "What are we doing?" NJ just isn't that fabulous.

[just_sayin']

Originally Posted by jerseymom

I'm just curious as to what gives you that impression? Why do you think those of us who are moving or have moved don't expect NC to change? The fact is, many of us who are moving are sick and TIRED very tired of the way we are living now. You have been in NC for many years now. Do you have any idea what it's like to live in NJ, or LI, Staten Island, Brooklyn, and of course NYC? In NJ, a first time buyer has to cough up $400,000 to buy a half decent home with 2/3 bedrooms. In most of the better towns (better meaning a decent school system), you are lucky to get a town house for that kind of money.

I know that you are unhappy with the decision you've made, and I've read your comments over and over and over again without really flinching. But you struck a nerve when you mentioned that people who are happy moving must not feel close to their families. I have an incredibly tight extended family. We have never lived apart from eachother. But, I had to make the move. To see my husband drive 2 1/2 hours (min.) each way to get into Manhattan just so we could afford NJ is doing my own family an injustice. My husband and my children are more important to me that anyone else. I don't have to live and die where my extended family is.

I don't think of NC as some sort of utopia. It's close enough to drive back and forth to visit family in NJ, the weather is nice, the people are warm and wonderful, and yes, it is affordable.

I'd love to know what you would be doing if you were forced out of your beloved home town in NY. If you had to pay $500-600,000 for a 40 year old home, and then pay $8-10,000 a year in taxes, if you couldn't afford to stay there and had to choose a better life for your family or if you COULD afford it, but it required you to get up at 5:30 in the morning and get home at 9:00 at night. I'll tell you what you'd be doing. You'd be calling NC paradise.

.

It's not an impression; it's what I've seen people say. I couldn't think that up by myself. I should mave made a point of saying SOME. Some people really do think that way. I have seen it written almost exactly the same by several people....... "we are the ones who are moving away from the taxes and high cost of living, so it won't happen to where we are moving". That kind of logic IS present in many people's minds. I wouldn't say it if I hadn't observed it. I do sympathize with you and realize that it's a hard choice. My point wasn't to say that it would be eaiser for you or others to move because you didn't CARE about family, but that many people may not be particurly close geographicaly. The New York metropolitan area is huge; both in population and land area. I have heard from many that have moved from that area that while all of their family is still in the New York metro area; they could be spread out from as far as New Jersey, to Long Island, to Westchester. I have said that if I were in that situation I would probably move too. My statement may have been too much of a generalization.... but it is definitely an attitude that I have seen expressed here and in person.

[mmdj43]

Originally Posted by i'minformed

It's not an impression; it's what I've seen people say. I couldn't think that up by myself. I should mave made a point of saying SOME. Some people really do think that way. I have seen it written almost exactly the same by several people....... "we are the ones who are moving away from the taxes and high cost of living, so it won't happen to where we are moving". That kind of logic IS present in many people's minds. I wouldn't say it if I hadn't observed it. I do sympathize with you and realize that it's a hard choice. My point wasn't to say that it would be eaiser for you or others to move because you didn't CARE about family, but that many people may not be particurly close geographicaly. The New York metropolitan area is huge; both in population and land area. I have heard from many that have moved from that area that while all of their family is still in the New York metro area; they could be spread out from as far as New Jersey, to Long Island, to Westchester. I have said that if I were in that situation I would probably move too. My statement may have been too much of a generalization.... but it is definitely an attitude that I have seen expressed here and in person.

Then shame on those who think that they're moving to NC to get away from the high taxes and cost of living 'forever'. Yes, it's a huge perk right now, but it will go up, but so are the areas we are currently living and getting away from. So there will always be a gap, but when that does happen, I'm sure we'll be better prepared to handle that.

[VickiR]

Ummm...again...life is what YOU make of it, no matter where you live. You CHOOSE to be happy or unhappy. Some people are born with a very negative attitude and "misery loves company". "Nuff said??? Vicki

[just_sayin']

I definitely wouldn't say you "choose to be happy" or not. You can only "choose" to be content in all reality. If anyone is "choosing" to be happy OR sad.... I'd strongly suggest that you seek some medical attention because that isn't very healthy.

[NYer]

Originally Posted by VickiR

Ummm...again...life is what YOU make of it, no matter where you live. You CHOOSE to be happy or unhappy. Some people are born with a very negative attitude and "misery loves company". "Nuff said??? Vicki

Well... that is true to some extent. But if you just plain do not have the time to really live it is hard to be happy.
That was true for us. It is even more true for people in 3rd world countries & war zones... can they choose to be happy or unhappy? To some extent, in a zen sort of way, but you cannot ignore that some people have it better than others to some degree.
I was happy this past year b/c I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. As a family we decided to pull ourselves out of a bad situation.