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Old 05-04-2011, 11:01 PM
 
Location: Containment Area, NC
14,209 posts, read 9,324,737 times
Reputation: 11385

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Quote:
Originally Posted by eurasiangurl View Post
thanks SOOOO Much ncguy444 for exactly proving my point that north carolinians are two=faced lying scumbags

bless your heart.......
I'm regret that you've met so many insincere individuals. My instinct, as a psychologist (well, I did my undergrad in psych, I'm actually a writer) would be this:

You're lonely, and can't seem to really connect with people here. It's possible that you've chosen to obsess over something as harmless as a polite smile to attempt forced friendship. This is a self-fulfilling prophecy, as you cannot make people be friends with you.

So, rather than soul searching to figure out how to be happy in NC, you've chosen to blame all the citizens of Fayetteville for your lack of a large social circle.

That was my first guess.

My 2MD is that you simply cannot comprehend subtle social cues, so a smile means far more to you than it does to the average person. This works okay in places where smiles aren't part of social acknowledgement. NC is not one of those places.

I'm being straight with you. What you do with this info is up to you, but you're not going to win a one-woman crusade to turn the citizens of NC into New Yorkers.

In fact, I happen to live in Relo Central.

Many of my transplanted friends enjoy the smiles and friendly hellos from strangers.
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Old 05-04-2011, 11:04 PM
 
Location: Containment Area, NC
14,209 posts, read 9,324,737 times
Reputation: 11385
Quote:
Originally Posted by eurasiangurl View Post
i work at ft bragg and have been brownnosing, begging and pleading and even offering to do pretty dog-like tricks JUST to get a transfer to a place like DC, or somewhere in VA ok, i'm kidding about the doggy tricks but u get the point...

i was married w/ a soldier and the economic opportunity of working at ft bragg is what kept me here even after the divorce
Ahhh! That makes sense.

This place is never going to feel comfortable to you.

I know plenty of former paratroopers. Some stayed here and love it, others couldn't wait to head back home once their enlistment was up.

Keep begging for that transfer. Something will turn up eventually.

In the meantime (not sure of your age) maybe heading up here to the Raleigh area for clubs and entertainment would be a better fit for you? Just a thought.
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Old 05-04-2011, 11:07 PM
 
Location: Somewhere.
1,406 posts, read 1,687,844 times
Reputation: 1221
I think...you have major issues and need to seriously consider psychological help.

No one in their right mind would think a friendly smile = come sit at my table. No matter what city, state or country they are in. And then to have so much anger about it? Well...ya. In fact I think Army bases offer free or discounted sessions for employees. Do yourself a favor and seriously get some help. You might just find its not NC you hate....
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Old 05-04-2011, 11:46 PM
 
227 posts, read 658,488 times
Reputation: 252
Born and raised in Ohio but my family is Southern. Been around and know your type. Own property in North and South Carolina and was a Marine who spent some time training in the sketter invested swamps of Eastern NC. Ever hear the saying " When in Rome do as the Romans do"?? You are in Fayetteville for God's sake. Home of Delta Force, Green Berets and the 82nd Airborne. Many of the folks in town have been negatively affected by multiple tours of duty in war zones that have affected loved ones or close acquaintances due to the war on terror. This has lead to death, amputation, trauma or psychological disorders. Then I read about some freak from florida who is disturbed about the lack of eye contact. Consider yourself lucky that is the least of your problems. I95 is your friend.
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Old 05-05-2011, 03:50 AM
 
Location: heaven & hell
1 posts, read 867 times
Reputation: 10
That reminds me of the words: Be the change you want to see in the world
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Old 05-05-2011, 04:05 AM
Status: "FEAR won in 2014." (set 7 days ago)
 
Location: Heart of TEA country--Livingston County, MI
7,635 posts, read 10,298,852 times
Reputation: 5246
I am

How is smiling just a front? Other than the hugger, what experiences have led you to conclude a smile is deceitful?
I agree it takes some getting used to (being fron Detroit a smile has other meanings lol) But please share how you have come to this conclusion??
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Old 05-05-2011, 07:18 AM
 
2,279 posts, read 3,189,224 times
Reputation: 2489
Wow, OP. I agree that you need some serious counseling, and I truly hope you get it.

People all over the world will smile and greet you for no other reason than politeness. It happens all the time in places like Madison, WI, or Dallas, TX, in Rome, Jamaica, Australia and most every other country in the world. You need to figure out why you have such a problem with that.
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Old 05-05-2011, 07:31 AM
 
398 posts, read 178,361 times
Reputation: 199
Southern women in NC have a creepy way of smiling and saying things that come across completely strange to people from the north or from south FL. I understand what the OP is saying. They will be completely over the top but it will be a front. I suggest THEY get counseling, not the OP. She is perfectly reasonable to assume an over-the-top smile like the women in NC engage in is an invitation to come say hi.
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Old 05-05-2011, 07:52 AM
 
Location: Containment Area, NC
14,209 posts, read 9,324,737 times
Reputation: 11385
Quote:
Originally Posted by Northbound81 View Post
Southern women in NC have a creepy way of smiling and saying things that come across completely strange to people from the north or from south FL. I understand what the OP is saying. They will be completely over the top but it will be a front. I suggest THEY get counseling, not the OP. She is perfectly reasonable to assume an over-the-top smile like the women in NC engage in is an invitation to come say hi.
Some women in this region are excessively saccharin-sweet in their intial reactions to people. I do agree.

However, it is clear the OP knows they are. She cannot change the people who do this, so employing a little common sense works here.

If you're getting the super sweet hello? It's just a hello. It's not an invite.

It doesn't take long to figure out that taking one's time to get to know people is the only way to figure out whether they want to be friends or just polite acquaintances.
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Old 05-05-2011, 07:58 AM
 
2,279 posts, read 3,189,224 times
Reputation: 2489
Quote:
Originally Posted by Northbound81 View Post
Southern women in NC have a creepy way of smiling and saying things that come across completely strange to people from the north or from south FL. I understand what the OP is saying. They will be completely over the top but it will be a front. I suggest THEY get counseling, not the OP. She is perfectly reasonable to assume an over-the-top smile like the women in NC engage in is an invitation to come say hi.
In this regard, southern women in NC are no different from southern women in Georgia, or Alabama, or Texas, or lots of other places, including many that aren't in the South. One has a responsibility to learn about and be considerate of the cultural norms of the area they're in, and not try to force their own standards on everyone else.

And frankly, there's absolutely nothing wrong with saying "Hi" to someone who smiled at you, or even starting up a casual conversation. But there are limits defined by local custom and basic common sense. That's the part you need to understand about the area you're visiting. As someone else pointed out, you aren't going to change it, so you just have to deal with it.
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