Has anyone left there spouse/mate behind?

[nascarnancy]

Yep, now I am running into that same situation, what to do? Just happened by chance, ran into one of my sales reps at work that I hadn't seen in a while and one of his good friends lives in Charlotte. Introduced us by email thinking once we got back there we could meet up etc. So I asked what he did, told him what I did and he says email your resume we have a job position opening up. So I send my resume, how could I not. Had an interview last week, spoke to their HR person this week. Spoke to the gal again today, sounds like I am definately in the running and will know for sure next week.

So now, do I accept the position and my DH stays behind (in CA) hoping the house will sell (7 months on the market already), do we just pack up and go and leave the house empty and on the market and start our lives in NC or turn down the position?

[lolliepopshelly]

Call me crazy but we have done just that! My husband is a military man and he used to go away for 6 wks and come home for 6 week. We did that for several years. He is home all the time since I had my baby,but we will survive. Take a look at it like .. there are people who live on different coast and they are together for years and they make it work. THere is a lot of hard work, and communication involved but once that time has passed you get back into the swing of things again, and it's like you were never apart. You have to make it work

[heathersmom]

This happened to a couple we know. Married 22 years, 2 kids. He went ahead for a job and she was to follow as soon as the kids were out of school (4 months time)- he called her within 2 months and said "Don't bother coming..." he found someone new at work-needless to say they did not have the strongest of marriages to begin with-jusy don't think its that good an idea. 2 weeks max is probably your best bet. Good luck

[NYer]

We were apart for almost 6 months b/c he had to come to NC to work & we had to prep the house for sale, I had to wind up at work, & our kids had to finish out school. He came home 3x but it was quite hard. We didn't have much of a choice but it was good in some ways. He had to re-learn how to cook & clean for himself as opposed to "helping" me...
He was very lonely. I was very busy. But hey we did what we had to do, & things are great now. f course we were on the phone all the time & our separation had a set beginning & end.

[CosmicVagabond]

Originally Posted by Samohtal

It sounds like you've already considered it. If its something you've already floated out there, to me it sounds like trouble already and/or at least a little selfish on your part.

I'm not trying to offend, but sometimes the picture is clearer from someone who is removed from the particulars. You both want to move, but the responsibilities that come with being an adult (selling the house, getting a new job, etc.) and moving will take more time than you wish you had to wait. Like someone said, what's the rush? If NC is the right place for you and your family, it will continue to be in a couple of years or whenever is right for your entire family to come down. Its not right IMHO to make the kids and you gang up on your husband to make him feel like he's the only reason you aren't moving to somewhere you wish you could be RIGHTNOW. Running away from issues by moving to NC won't make problems go away, but they might be forgotten for a small period of time.

Address the underlying issues or deal with your selfishness and keep your entire family together until your entire family can move. If this was a few weeks or a month, maybe, but 2 years is a huge red flag. Diva may be more than just part of your username on this forum - but treat your husband like you would wish to be treated in this instance.

Holy Cow!! What a judgmental post... I had to call you on this as you seem to have read a lot into her post that I didn't seem to see. We all have different attitudes on marriage. 2 years could work for her and her family. It seems long tho. I am currently considering a job in NC and would need to relocate from Ky. We have discussed the move, with my wife keeping "one foot in ky" as a form of having something to return to if I don't like the job I'd take, plus the house would need to be sold and she'd need to find a job as well. I see nothing wrong with a spouse remaining behind, the length of time to be determined by what they, as a couple, feel comfortable with.