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We see an opportunity and a chance of home ownership that we will never have up North. Let's put it this way - In Long Island, the only way a middle class young person has of ever owning a decent place is to wait for his parents to die and hope they leave him some equity. That is NO WAY to live and part of the reason so many people are running out of here.
Personally I am not looking to "change" anyone. I am just looking for a more affordable place to live. If the natives are going to be immediately prejudiced against me than they can only expect the same treatment back. Sorry if my "new found wealth" (some equity) initimidates people.
Southerns don't mean to be prejudiced, but we are a very close knit group of people. They stick together. And in some ways, you have to prove your self worth to them. Southerns are very high in morale. They have their beliefs and the way they do things. Not to mention that North Carolina is in the middle of the bible belt.
I am about to be married to a "Yankee". My joke is our wedding theme will be the "Civil War", and the south will win this time! LOL
Here is my list of what annoys me with "yankees". Enjoy!
1.) Do not talk down to us. Do not talk slowly to us. WE can understand you, even when you do talk fast. We are not ignorant, nor do we need things spelled out. When you do that, it makes you look like an idiot.
2.) Please try to refrain from every other word coming out of your mouth having 4 letters. We do have childern, because its "normal" for you, don't mean its "normal" for them.
3.) Don't talk about our cooking, or our food. Southerns are proud of their hospitality. Try grits, try collards, try cabbage. You will be amazed at what you find that do like.
4.) NEWS FLASH!!!!...you do NOT know everything.
5.) Please don't honk your horn at us, if we are going to slow for you. We like taking in our beautiful scenery. By us going slow, we are trying to help you to appreciate it also.
6.) Please don't call us crazy because everytime we hear the word "snow", we run to the grocery store and stock up on bread and milk, and necessisaities. We are not use to that type of weather.
7.) Don't talk about how much where you came from was better. If it was so much better, then I would like it explained to me why you are here. If it is that bad here, you can pack up and go back where you came from.
8.) Don't brag about what you have. We could care less. It's not like you are going to be taking any of it when you pass away. Heaven don't accept MasterCard, Visa, Discover, or American Express.
Not only that, but what you have can't buy you love. We are all fortunate in something one way or another. Some have money, and don't have real love. Some have no money, and are getting by on real love.
To be "accepted", there are only a few things you must do. Be cordial, and greet people. Don't be surprised if a complete strangers says hello to you at the supermarket. Try to embrace our history. "True" North Carolians are very proud of our hertiage. Scot-Irish is huge here, because most are highlander descendants. The best way to really be well aquainted with our history and become "accepted" is by joining a historical society. That will show us you want to learn about our culture.
Southerns make wonderful friends. We are caring and compassionate. We will be there for you when you need us. We will laugh with you, and cry with you. We are loyal.
And the final thing you must no matter what remember is............
Before you talk about anybody, you have to make sure you say..."Bless their heart". It makes talking about somebody right, instead of wrong.
I hope if you decide to move here, you will take these things to heart. But, also let us learn from you and your culture.
storm1996, it's no wonder there is negative sentiment about people from up north if they all acted like this! I would assume that it's not just one person who prompted this list, but many. It's just too bad that some of the bad apples behaved like this and created such a bad reputation for the rest of us. (Note to self: Do what I can to change this perception... even if it is just a little.)
I think that a lot of your list falls under the label of respecting others. My parents instilled these good manners in me and someday, if I have children, I'll be passing them along.
One thing I really liked about your post was your last line: "... also let us learn from you and your culture". What a fantastic attitude that illustrates that the learning really should go both ways. Thanks for saying that!
Storm1996: What you said was absolutely amazing. Relocating to E. NC 4 yrs. ago from So., NJ, my husband and I have experienced all of the things you said in your wonderful post. Coming from So. NJ, we were fortunate because we were able to raise our children with the same "southern" charm back in the 70"s as our lovely town of Winterville, NC is now. Our town was a resort town, our slogan was, "we have 9 mos. of fall, winter and spring and 3 months of relatives."
One weekend in the summer about 12 years ago I was at the deli section of our supermarket getting lunch meat. As Joanie was slicing the lunch meat, she was aking me how my husband, kids, dog etc. were, I got a tap on my shoulder and turned around, smiled and said to the woman, "hi, can I help you"? In a very thick NY accent she replied, "you wanna hurry this along a bit---I'm on vacation"! I turned to Joanie who was appalled by this (still cutting the lunch meat) and said, Joanie, I would like to have 1/3 lb of every meat and cheese in the case please, but first I want to taste it. The woman stormed off and we just laughed. It happened to us all the time. My husband was a bartender at the local bar, the Northerns came down and would ask him, "so what is your real job"? After 911, we all were crowded out by No. Jersey, NY and Philly and were lucky enough to move here. We have met wonderful people and would never go back except to visit the kids.
My lovely hairdresser said it perfectly yesterday. She was telling me how a walk-in customer from NY sat down to get her nails done last week, as Kelly was filing her nails the woman said "this isn't how we do it up North" and Kelly replied, "then go back up North". lol My husband works for a home improvement store, and is constantly saying the same thing to people, if you want to change things the way they were where you came from go back.
I love when there is someone sitting in my rocker on the front porch asking for some tea. I wouldn't trade this home for the world. kelsie
1) Embrace our culture and don't tell us how much better your's was back home.
2) Enjoy our local restaurants (NOT the chains) without complaining about why you can't get NY/Chicago or whatever pizza/bagels, etc here IN NC...OUR cuisine is NOT PIZZA. It's pig pickin's and oyster shuckin's.
3) Wave at people all the time.
4) Slow down your life...you will actually feel better.
5) Remember southerners take pride in being nosy, get over it. It's because we CARE.
If you remember these things, you won't have the troubles others do when you get down here. Liz
Southern Lady (Liz),
This is exactly what my hubby and I want to do. Hubby wishes he WASN'T a yankee and we both desperately want to be a part of the culture (there isn't much culture in massachusetts) and slow down and feel part of a community and support the local restaurants and shops. We just can't find a JOB to get us there (or more specifically hubby can't find one). Granted we're looking on the east coast but we're looking up and down the entire coast. No one wants to hire a transplant. It's so frustrating at least for us because everything you said is what we want. If you know of anyone looking for a hardworking, dedicated and loyal purchasing manager/buyer please let me know.
I ditto the constructiveness on this thread as being so positive, helpful and polite,
I have said this before, and will never tire seeing or hearing it from others ;
as this thread really does say stop, think, and put your efforts into a place to help improve NC so that it may benefit all who decide to call it home......now or in the future.
Storm1996: One weekend in the summer about 12 years ago I was at the deli section of our supermarket getting lunch meat. As Joanie was slicing the lunch meat, she was asking me how my husband, kids, dog etc. were, I got a tap on my shoulder and turned around, smiled and said to the woman, "hi, can I help you"? In a very thick NY accent she replied, "you wanna hurry this along a bit---I'm on vacation"! I turned to Joanie who was appalled by this (still cutting the lunch meat) and said, Joanie, I would like to have 1/3 lb of every meat and cheese in the case please, but first I want to taste it. The woman stormed off and we just laughed. It happened to us all the time.
I'm glad I don't have to live in a place where the norm is for people to be so caring that they don't respect a person's privacy.
Yes, fortunately for us all, America is still a free country and you have the right to live wherever people don't care about you for the rest of your life
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What Yankees do to annoy the natives
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