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Carol:
Bravo! My Wife and I came down from Massachusetts almost eleven years ago and we did not come with preconceived notions about Southerners, other than the fact that some of them were still bitter about the results of the Civil War. That being said we took the "When in Rome" attitude and decided that if NC was to be our home we would have to embrace it. While visiting the state to determine where we would live we visited The Crabtree Valley Mall in Raleigh and bought books about the South from a place called North Carolina Remembered - books like "Suthern Dialect Like It Should be Spoke" - Southern For Yankees and Other Unintelleigent People" just to name two. We learned that a Yankee was someone who came to visit the South and a Damned Yankee is one who stayed! Once we decided to take a great job offer and moved down to Raleigh we saw that every other person in the apartment complex was from the North!! We didn't really enjoy the Southern experience there and after less than 1 year built a home in Johnston County where we lived for almost 8 years, enjoying the Southern experience...then we retired and built a home in Sampson County where we really enjoy the Southern ways. Our neighbors treat as as NEIGHBORS and not as Transplants, Damned Yankees or anything similar. Simply put, North Carolina is and has been HOME for us since the Fall of 1997. We live amongst farmers, school teachers and others and wouldn't change this for the world. Welcome to the South, y'all!!
My own answer is, first, slow down and take things easy. Whether you're driving, walking, or talking, just relax. There's really no rush. Second, be polite. If you're a man, by the way, this includes addressing women properly and holding doors. (This has nothing to do with any political question of women's role in society.) Third, be friendly and sincere. Don't ever ignore a greeting, or small talk, from anyone. Remember that every single person you see or interact with during the day is a real person and a member of your community. Look the waitress in the eye, smile, thank her, tip her, and mean it. And so on. All these things tie in together.
Those are the basics, to get started. Beyond that, try to develop an appreciation for the Southern sensibility of place and history. This encompasses a lot, far more than can be covered here. But anytime any Southerner tells you about some distinctive feature about this place compared to that place, from the way they do the barbecue in a particular joint to the way the wind blows on a certain ridge, pay attention. The same is true when you learn about something that happened twenty, or sixty, or a hundred and sixty years ago. These things are real.
I'm not trying to pick on you personally as this is not the only post like this, but nobody sees anything wrong with all of this? Telling someone how to live their life in order to be "accepted" when they want to move somewhere else.
I once saw a T. V. documentary about Kudzu and I think there is a significance that it is near railroad tracks. To be able to see this plant has to be the number one reason to move to North Carolina. Number two is the joy of eating Neese's Liver Pudding, which is just a fancy name for Livermush. Some people fry their liver pudding. I slice it and bake it in the oven, toast my bread and make a sandwich. Add a cup of coffee and breakfast is ready.
Stick with this little group. They are "good apples" and will just teach you everything. Now, have you heard about muscadine grapes?
Kudzu was thought to be an erosion control plant. The railroads planted it along their right of ways before finding out it's true nature - it does not effectively control erosion.
Grew up on usually pan-fried Neese's Liver Pudding (a mixture of hog cuts.) Slightly different from Neese's Liver Mush (supposed to contain only the liver cut for the meat portion.)
I'm not trying to pick on you personally as this is not the only post like this, but nobody sees anything wrong with all of this? Telling someone how to live their life in order to be "accepted" when they want to move somewhere else.
I think the gist (what I got out of this thread, anyway) is be polite and leave the superiority complex at home. I have lived in 12 different states and loved each and every one. I've lived everywhere from the beach in California to a "holler" in Jenkins, KY (deep in coal country). I don't compare where I am to where I've been since each place is different and offers so much!
When I get somewhere new (as we'll be doing again in '08 when we move from Rhode Island to Charlotte) I think of myself as a guest in someone's house. I may be used to kicking my shoes off and putting my feet on the couch at MY house, but wouldn't if invited over to someone else's. And I certainly wouldn't tell my host how much nicer my house is than theirs!
We plan on coming down with a wide open mind and eyes and ears open. I think we'll be accepted and welcomed if we continue to have that attitude. And we're not going willingly, by the way. We're losing our house up here due to a series of circumstances out of our control. We chose NC based on climate and housing costs. Although we'll be sad to leave where we are, we are excited about this "next chapter" in our lives.
RAV INDUSTRIES: First...sorry to hear that you are losing your home as that is always a sad thing, but secondly...let me be among the first to welcome you to North Carolina. Being a transplant myself, having lived in Rhode Island during my early years, I can empathize with the changes you will be going through. North Carolina is almost as big as all of New England and has many of the same amenities. We have the ocean and the mountains, snow in some areas and you can do almost everything here in one state that we did up there in six. The folks are warm and remind us of a previous generation up north. The sky is really blue and the climate, except for six weeks in July and August, is warm to hot. You can travel from one end of the state to another in about 9 hours. You won't see the ethnicity that you are accustomed to up there but this lack of diversity causes most to blend well together rather than focus on differences. We miss Federal Hill, RI food offerings like all other transplants but we are now accustomed to southern living and cooking and have adapted well. I wish you luck on your move and hope you start right off enjoying your new home down here in North Carolina...The Tarheel State. We love it and although there are things we miss about where we came from we would not move back for a million bucks. We are still part of this great place called The United States of America and home is where you hang your hat.
There was a very interesting forum which has recently closed regarding how Southerns view Northern transplants that I would like to reactivate because I missed out on the discussion! Since my husband and I are seriously considering relocating to North Carolina, most probably to the Calabash or Shallotte areas, I am particularly eager to read more views on this subject.
I have read many Southerners' posts that express concern about our preconceived notions about them, and I would like to address that here.
I had never really considered myself to be a “Northerner†before reading these forums on the subject. I considered myself an American first and foremost, and a New Yorker, therefore, second. I have read that many Southerners see themselves as Southern first and American second. Since I consider your history as part of my own (like it or not), I appreciate your apparent patriotism and respect and celebrate our glorious heritage as Americans.
It is this patriotism now that attracts me to the South as much as your warm climate and Paula Dean's Restaurant. It became apparent to me that no one in these particular forums had mentioned their ethnicity as being part of their identity - everyone was either a Northerner or a Southerner - and I liked that. This would NEVER happen in a conversation with only New Yorkers. Most people up here will tell you what their background is in an effort to find out what yours is. If you tell them you are American, that is not adequate – they want to know where your ancestors were from. We have an enormous immigrant population, and where your family was originally from is very important to them.
EVERYTHING up here is written in at least 2 languages – English and something else. I am born and raised and still live in the middle class New York neighborhood of Whitestone – great neighborhood, but it has over the years changed into a very ethnic area – not that there is anything wrong with that, but I miss the way it used to be. Italian flags are hanging alongside ours on poles on the front lawns. There are many Greek immigrants now along with the small but steady influx of Yugoslavians or Croatians. Our Asian and Korean neighbors will soon outnumber us all which is perhaps most evident in their overt love for churches or is it their love for not paying property taxes? Everyone who likes to socialize meets around our park’s bocce court whether as spectators or participants, and speaks to each other mostly in broken English or just signs to each other.
Very nice – really, but I am very much looking forward to being considered a “transplant†or a “Northerner†or a “damn Yankee†for that matter, AND I sincerely can’t wait to see your American and/or your Confederate flags blowing in the hot summer breeze.
I don't think its really animosity towards every individual that moves down. Generally us Southerners expect large cities to be comprised mainly of transplants. If you notice, most cities don't always have the characteristics of the surrounding areas as far as beliefs and ideals are concerned.
An example would be the War of Northern Aggression (Don't call it a civil war, since a civil war is two groups fighting for one government), if you look at the presidential election of 1860, and public opinion in the South, you see that most of the Southern cities were not in favor of the secession. Its just common knowledge that cities are, and for the most part have always been comprised of transplants in the form of Northerners as well as foreigners from Europe and what not.
However, in todays South, transplants do not stick to the metropolises, they have moved to the very roots and core of our society and culture in our smaller towns and communities. This of course makes us a bit uneasy about the apparent 'takeover'.
As far as most of us are concerned, transplants are only seeking cheaper place to live no matter where it is. This makes us believe you only choose to live in the South to save your own money. While I'll admit "progress" is usually for the better, washing away our history and culture, as well as bulldozing wildlife reserves to build strip malls and subdivisions is not the way to get off on the right foot with us.
10 years ago, I could go hunting in SC just about anywhere I wanted (Greenville area in this example) now, I can't go anywhere due to the ''disturbance" this causes. Complaints filed, or vegetarian uproar that I shouldn't use this method to feed my family.
1000's of acres of land across the South that once served as home to wildlife is now being lost daily to new developments. More and more of our unique and stylish history and culture is now disappearing by the day, washed away by a new generation of transplants and suburban sprawl. I can't stop it, no one can, so we might as well all learn to get along.
I proudly consider myself a Southerner first, American second, and I will always have that mentality. It is the one thing no one will ever take from me, no matter how much of what I've known all my life will disappear. I suppose all peoples experience cultural extinction at some point in time, and it seems that time has come for us the South. I guess thats why they call this trend "The Shrinking South and Dieing Dixie".
However, I would never hate anyway because of where they were from. (Although, some of the jokes are pretty funny).
Sorry for the depressing mood of my post, but there really isn't any other way for me to rant.
Good thread, thanks!
For the most part I've always enjoyed my time in the South, particularly the more rural locations.
My ship was in numerous Southern ports and as a native Californian it was fascinating to see first hand all those places that I had read about over the years.
Lots of interesting 'sea' stories as well, many that to me at least were indicative of the life down there.
My ship was tied up at the terminal and from the bridge wing with binoculars I could see a shopping mall on the other side of the highway from where we were, but I could not see any way to get there from the dock.
After I got off watch I checked out a bike [didn't feel like paying for a cab, and besides you don't see much getting around that way...] and took off.
Eventually I got to this small town, and I noticed that I was the only white guy around....yet not one person messed with me, why would they? Perhaps I looked too scrawny and sunburned to bother with.
I rode up to a house and there on the porch sat a HUGE woman with oh...ten fifteen kids running about....and when they saw me they just stared....I pulled up and got off the bike...
"excuse me ma'am how do I get to the other side of the highway from here?...."
She looked at me...and said..
"ya ain't frum aroun heah are you!"
"ahhh, no ma'am, I'm from California..."
"KALL-FORNAHH!??" It was as if I fell from a cloud....all golden and stupid...
So she told me how to get to the mall, and the post office and I had a great time for the rest of the day.
Another sea story goes like this...
On the ship, this older deck-hand from Texas [white guy] just continually gave me crap about California, no matter how much I agreed with him about how bad California had become, he would not let it go....So eventually I gave up on being friends with the guy, until one day he came up and said as he looked at me sideways,
"euu go fish-un?"
"sure...love it"
Well.....that was that, coffee and dough-nuts for two from then on out.
Aside from a close-call in Jacksonville I've had a great time in the south.
As for lots of 'Northerners' moving in...well...
In California we have people moving in all the time. In the past these folks came to California to live the California Life, not bring their old life with them, and simply live in a warmer climate.
Folks would come here from New York, or Texas...and take a big breath...relax...mellow out and start to enjoy life a bit more, not get so hung up on money and cars and speed and buildings and all that crap. In short they made every effort to adapt to the way things were because they genuinely wanted to and in no short order they became [at least in MY eyes] every bit Californian and very nice people to be around.....but then...
Then people from New York, Boston and Texas started to come in, in such huge numbers, that they never assimilated...they never relaxed, chilled out let it go.... so to speak....[starting to sound familiar?] and they brought with them all the anger, angst, attitude and ego that they would have been better off leaving behind.....that is sort of the way things are now....so...hopefully that won't happen in the South!
All the best.
Good thread, thanks!
For the most part I've always enjoyed my time in the South, particularly the more rural locations.
My ship was in numerous Southern ports and as a native Californian it was fascinating to see first hand all those places that I had read about over the years.
Lots of interesting 'sea' stories as well, many that to me at least were indicative of the life down there.
My ship was tied up at the terminal and from the bridge wing with binoculars I could see a shopping mall on the other side of the highway from where we were, but I could not see any way to get there from the dock.
After I got off watch I checked out a bike [didn't feel like paying for a cab, and besides you don't see much getting around that way...] and took off.
Eventually I got to this small town, and I noticed that I was the only white guy around....yet not one person messed with me, why would they? Perhaps I looked too scrawny and sunburned to bother with.
I rode up to a house and there on the porch sat a HUGE woman with oh...ten fifteen kids running about....and when they saw me they just stared....I pulled up and got off the bike...
"excuse me ma'am how do I get to the other side of the highway from here?...."
She looked at me...and said..
"ya ain't frum aroun heah are you!"
"ahhh, no ma'am, I'm from California..."
"KALL-FORNAHH!??" It was as if I fell from a cloud....all golden and stupid...
So she told me how to get to the mall, and the post office and I had a great time for the rest of the day.
Another sea story goes like this...
On the ship, this older deck-hand from Texas [white guy] just continually gave me crap about California, no matter how much I agreed with him about how bad California had become, he would not let it go....So eventually I gave up on being friends with the guy, until one day he came up and said as he looked at me sideways,
"euu go fish-un?"
"sure...love it"
Well.....that was that, coffee and dough-nuts for two from then on out.
Aside from a close-call in Jacksonville I've had a great time in the south.
As for lots of 'Northerners' moving in...well...
In California we have people moving in all the time. In the past these folks came to California to live the California Life, not bring their old life with them, and simply live in a warmer climate.
Folks would come here from New York, or Texas...and take a big breath...relax...mellow out and start to enjoy life a bit more, not get so hung up on money and cars and speed and buildings and all that crap. In short they made every effort to adapt to the way things were because they genuinely wanted to and in no short order they became [at least in MY eyes] every bit Californian and very nice people to be around.....but then...
Then people from New York, Boston and Texas started to come in, in such huge numbers, that they never assimilated...they never relaxed, chilled out let it go.... so to speak....[starting to sound familiar?] and they brought with them all the anger, angst, attitude and ego that they would have been better off leaving behind.....that is sort of the way things are now....so...hopefully that won't happen in the South!
All the best.
You tell a great story!!! I just love the southern accent. My family is from Arkansas-got a few still there, that I've never met. We're relocating to North Carolina prayerfully next month. I can't wait to get there to get me some southern cooking! My mom cooks soul food all the time and oh my-so good! But I can't wait to taste some of those awesome southern dishes!
Good thread, thanks!
For the most part I've always enjoyed my time in the South, particularly the more rural locations.
My ship was in numerous Southern ports and as a native Californian it was fascinating to see first hand all those places that I had read about over the years.
Lots of interesting 'sea' stories as well, many that to me at least were indicative of the life down there.
My ship was tied up at the terminal and from the bridge wing with binoculars I could see a shopping mall on the other side of the highway from where we were, but I could not see any way to get there from the dock.
After I got off watch I checked out a bike [didn't feel like paying for a cab, and besides you don't see much getting around that way...] and took off.
Eventually I got to this small town, and I noticed that I was the only white guy around....yet not one person messed with me, why would they? Perhaps I looked too scrawny and sunburned to bother with.
I rode up to a house and there on the porch sat a HUGE woman with oh...ten fifteen kids running about....and when they saw me they just stared....I pulled up and got off the bike...
"excuse me ma'am how do I get to the other side of the highway from here?...."
She looked at me...and said..
"ya ain't frum aroun heah are you!"
"ahhh, no ma'am, I'm from California..."
"KALL-FORNAHH!??" It was as if I fell from a cloud....all golden and stupid...
So she told me how to get to the mall, and the post office and I had a great time for the rest of the day.
Another sea story goes like this...
On the ship, this older deck-hand from Texas [white guy] just continually gave me crap about California, no matter how much I agreed with him about how bad California had become, he would not let it go....So eventually I gave up on being friends with the guy, until one day he came up and said as he looked at me sideways,
"euu go fish-un?"
"sure...love it"
Well.....that was that, coffee and dough-nuts for two from then on out.
Aside from a close-call in Jacksonville I've had a great time in the south.
As for lots of 'Northerners' moving in...well...
In California we have people moving in all the time. In the past these folks came to California to live the California Life, not bring their old life with them, and simply live in a warmer climate.
Folks would come here from New York, or Texas...and take a big breath...relax...mellow out and start to enjoy life a bit more, not get so hung up on money and cars and speed and buildings and all that crap. In short they made every effort to adapt to the way things were because they genuinely wanted to and in no short order they became [at least in MY eyes] every bit Californian and very nice people to be around.....but then...
Then people from New York, Boston and Texas started to come in, in such huge numbers, that they never assimilated...they never relaxed, chilled out let it go.... so to speak....[starting to sound familiar?] and they brought with them all the anger, angst, attitude and ego that they would have been better off leaving behind.....that is sort of the way things are now....so...hopefully that won't happen in the South!
All the best.
I enjoyed reading that I think you make a good point too. We Southerners rub off on the transplants and make them more laid back so too speak. Unfortunately, with the tidal wave of new comers we can't work our magic as quickly
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Neese's Liver Pudding
I think you make a good point too. We Southerners rub off on the transplants and make them more laid back so too speak. Unfortunately, with the tidal wave of new comers we can't work our magic as quickly 
