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Hi everyone! Being on this forum for quite a while, the debate about NC gets a little old. I just wanted to share a few things about moving here.
If you live in NY or NJ and really love the pace, the shore life, the city life, the career opportunities, if you have extended family you feel are going to be extremely hard to leave, if you are moving solely for the purpose of buying a bigger house and paying less in taxes, or for the weather-DON'T MOVE!
If you truly want to change your lifestyle-get to know your neighbors, smile at people in the street, have conversation with people you meet at the store, get involved in your community, in your church, in your children's schools-then this might very well be the place for you.
I just wanted to edit this to add that I'm not familiar with the Raleigh area. It could be a whole different ball game there!
I keep reading all the back and forth about how "different" it is here for disgruntled Northerners moving back. OF COURSE IT'S DIFFERENT!! It's the SOUTH! Why would you think it would be like NY or NJ?
I have met quite a few people from NY and NJ. It hasn't taken long to figure out why so many Southerners resent us. Some transplants fit in perfectly. Others do nothing but complain. Complain about the accent, the food, and if you can believe it the overcrowded schools and traffic. Can you imagine? The very people causing the traffic and overcrowding are complaining about it.
When I went to register my daughter for school, another mom was there from NY. When she found out there were going to be over 20 kids in the class she said, "Are you kidding?!" The principal looked at her calmly and said, "If you people keep moving down we're going to start asking the moms to teach." Clearly, she'd had enough stupid comments for one day.
I try my best to be aware of how Northerners are perceived here. It's not a matter of changing who I am to fit in. It's just simple decency. These people have watched (and continue to watch) everything they've known and loved change drastically, immeasurably, in just a few short years. We're not talking about 10, 15, 20 years like we've seen up North. Try in 3 to 4 years in some cases. Every time you turn around there's a new Walmart or strip center going up. There are more supermarkets here than gas stations in some towns up North. And they keep building more!
A few behaviors that make Northerners stand out here are the fact that we talk much more quickly, and LOUDLY. You don't find mothers here screaming at their kids from one side of the store to the other. Their discipline seems to be stern, and quiet. The people here are also very polite. You don't get the "if it's in my head, it comes out of my mouth" mentality we're pretty used to up North. I can always tell a Northerner in conversation because they say things a Southerner would never say. Will they be rude behind your back? Who knows. But they are careful and thoughtful about what they say to your face.
The driving issue, which has been brought up here a few times, makes me laugh. It's not that Southerners don't know how to drive. They are not aggressive drivers. We are used to driving to save every extra second. I don't think they drive that way. That's what probably makes it annoying for outsiders.
One more thing-do not let anyone tell you differently. Religion is HUGE here. Most people are very involved in church and you will be asked on more than a few occasions if you've found a place of worship yet. If do attend church regularly, you'll find the transition to be easier.
Having said all that, you'll find it all less relevant the closer you get to the city. Once we leave Union County and head towards Uptown Charlotte-the Southern feel is just about lost.
Hope that input helps just a little! I've only been here for a little over 2 months, but I feel like it's always been home. Good luck to anyone making the decision!
Last edited by Ms.Charlotte; 09-29-2006 at 08:51 AM..
As a native of the triangle area, I must say well put! I think you hit things completely dead on. Yes, we do welcome people here, but it does get tiresome hearing people complain!!!! I always want to say, well, why did you move here then? But I don't, I smile and say, hopefully you will get used to it!
Anyhow, I think everyone who is considering moving should read your post!!!!
Very thoughtful, rational and realistic. Having grown up on L.I. and gone to college in NC, my introduction to the South was in a unique environment. While I was certainly singled out as a Yankee, the good-naturedness of the back and forth in the college setting was a source of bonding almost. years later, after a brief time in Raleigh (before Cary became Cary) and a return to the NorthEast and stops in Florida, I am looking forward to settling in NC and raising my family. Trips to NYC will be in the plan but life and home will hopefully be in NC and all it has to offer.
Location: Charlotte,NC, US, North America, Earth, Alpha Quadrant,Milky Way Galaxy
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Very very well said, dead center hit the target. Particularly on the school situation. It's going to take patience on everyone's part. Yelling out load about ratios doesn't help, and honestly I love the way the principal responded.
I've been asked twice if we've found a church, one by a CPI security sales person, and can't remember the other, however only after we found a few things in common (i.e., location).
What I've found in a few instances when interacting with true natives (i.e., born and raised here) is a slight hesitation when the "I'm not a native" comes out, and particularly when you live in one of the many new subdivisions. In all cases, after establishing a polite dialog discussing locations, lakes, etc., pretty much it's all smoothed over and an even more friendly conversation occurs.
I agree with you NCMom, the disgruntledness (I know it's not a word) seems "overdone", however I can see how the exuberance seems "overdone" to the disgruntled. I side with those that like it here (and my wife's family is a Native of NC, we are not all new here or unfamilar with the area), but won't chatise anyone for a complaint (i.e., traffic).
I doubt if it will end because very few people use the search feature
NCMom, you said it all perfectly! I myself am from CT and can relate to everything you said. There has not been any other time this topic has been so nicely covered. Kudos to you for a great post!
I say the same thing to the New Yorkers on the Arizona site. I got chills when you said you'll hear a mother screaming for her child on the other side of the store, That's my mother and my sister LOUD AND RUDE, downright nasty at times. I don't shop with them at all. Watch out Mooresville they are moving there.......
This is a great post...thanks for putting it up. As an NC native, it gets two thumbs up from me!
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Originally Posted by NCMom
Others do nothing but complain. Complain about the accent, the food, and if you can believe it the overcrowded schools and traffic. Can you imagine? The very people causing the traffic and overcrowding are complaining about it.
Very true. And I'll add that when a town/county/state government tries to change land-use planning or environmental laws to address that rapid growth...guess who's also the first to complain? LOL
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The principal looked at her calmly and said, "If you people keep moving down we're going to start asking the moms to teach." Clearly, she'd had enough stupid comments for one day.
Wow. Good for her for having the guts to say that...I'd love to have seen that mother's face!!
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The driving issue, which has been brought up here a few times, makes me laugh. It's not that Southerners don't know how to drive. They are not aggressive drivers. We are used to driving to save every extra second. I don't think they drive that way. That's what probably makes it annoying for outsiders.
This is very true...I've noticed some very agressive driving from northerners that just scares me. On the flip side, we NC folks often roll our eyes if we're driving in the mountains and get behind a car with Florida plates driving WAY slow. "Oh my god! Curves and hills! Watch out!!"
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One more thing-do not let anyone tell you differently. Religion is HUGE here. Most people are very involved in church and you will be asked on more than a few occasions if you've found a place of worship yet. If do attend church regularly, you'll find the transition to be easier.
Ehh....yes and no. Personally I think that's less of a Northerner/Southerner issue than a Rural/Urban one. In the cities it's less of an issue. Go around downtown Raleigh, Durham or Chapel Hill on a Sunday morning and you're just as likely to find people around looking for a "Bloody-Mary Brunch" as you are to see people going to church. LOL
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Having said all that, you'll find it all less relevant the closer you get to the city.
Again, very true. But not just because the cities have more northern transplants, but that that's just the character of urban southerners. There are some pretty big differences between Urban Southerners and Rural Southerners, from my experience.
When I went to register my daughter for school, another mom was there from NY. When she found out there were going to be over 20 kids in the class she said, "Are you kidding?!" The principal looked at her calmly and said, "If you people keep moving down we're going to start asking the moms to teach." Clearly, she'd had enough stupid comments for one day.
I don't know what part of NY this newcomer was from but most if not all school classes have over 20 kids to a class, at least in NYC and its suburbs. My kids go to a parochial school and I wish there were only 20 kids to a class.
If the story is true it seems like the teacher has a problem with "you people". Maybe he should have a problem with the local politicans about controlled land development and planning.
I've been asked twice if we've found a church, one by a CPI security sales person, and can't remember the other, however only after we found a few things in common (i.e., location).
See this right here shows you there are actually two types of southerners: couth and uncouth. No one with true southern politeness would ask you this question unless you were real close friends. Most of us respectful southerners would realize that religion (if you have any at all) is a personal matter. That was way presumptious of this person.
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