California Girl moving to NC...

[veganwriter]

I was glad to read that you've targeted 2015 as your "buy" date.
I'm from Northern California and have only visited San Diego a couple of times ... but when moving here, be prepared to adjust almost everything. Here are some basic thoughts that come to mind:

• It is soooo much GREENER here than anywhere in California except the far North (up past Sacramento).
• San Diego is more Conservative than the Bay Area ... and so is North Carolina.
• You are not the first--there are a lot of Californians here. (ESCAPE !!!)
• It's cheaper to buy a house (monthly mortgage) here than it is to rent. (The speculators got here early.)
• You're not going to find everything you want in one place.
• While this is the "South" ... it's also the East Coast. The vibe can be ... different .. not any worst or better .. just different. (I don't know how old you are ... 30s? 40s? That's important when asking for advice.) Be prepared to feel a rudeness that isn't really rude ... it's just more East Coast than what you may be used to.
• Compassion ... you'll find it here ... along with plenty of, "Misery Likes Company" types.
• Don't be fooled by the sugary, "Hi y'all, I'm a Christian" introduction. Often you'll get that just before they hit you in the head with a brick. (YouTube Dr. Gabor Mate's videos on, "Attachment Issues" ... like the one called, "Hold Onto Your Kids"... "attachment issues" are huge everywhere in the country these days... and it's the source of school shootings, bullying, and "Us Vs. Them" mindsets.)

This region has the same issues as we do.. as the rest of the U.S. does, and as most of the world does. The like to think they're "different" than the yankees and the "foreigners" ... but they're just more repressed and closeted with it. The same sexual dramas, the same drug and alcohol dramas (even though it's more low-key here... but the human need to, "self-sooth" is everywhere), and the same problems with youth, etc...

The saving grace here is that people aren't as crowded up on top of each other. There's tons of space. It's more laid back and chill here. (The laid-back part reminds me of California before we were invaded by the world. I'm still adjusting to it ... which can make me more toxic than the natives sometimes because I'm aware I still haven't "de-stressed" yet. It's very hard to go from anonymity to an environment where not only everyone knows everyone... but feels they have the right to vote on you too. Really?)

There are days here when it feels like the South has never gotten over the Civil War.
The evidence of generational trauma is palpable.
I've seen whites who talk about the Confederacy IN THE PRESENT TENSE ... which means there are some who are experiencing identity issues and the irritation that resistance to change brings... and it can be experienced in a weird tenseness-for-no-reason.
I've also seen blacks (some-not all) who throw each other under the bus at a heart-beat due to (... a term I've always resisted... but finally have had to accept...) "Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome"... a.k.a. "Internalized Oppression."

What you're looking for is somewhere in between.
The place is littered with colleges and universities ... and that's both a good thing and a bad. I moved away from the Triangle because I was looking for the creative crowd instead of the science and math crowd.

If I were you, with four dogs, I would not rule out living a bit more rural.
It's AMAZING what you can buy here for a fraction of the cost and still be only minutes away from the urban experience.

Chapel Hill -- You sound like you feel you will be happier in the heart of the city ... urban/suburban experience... so I'd point you there. I really haven't experienced much of Raleigh, but most people seem to like it, and I've felt the people more open during the little forays I've had there. The cities of the Triangle seem closer together than here in the Triad. There are so many hospitals in the CH-Durham area that you can injure yourself bumping into one.

[NOTE: Regarding employment, you may want to take some classes at a few of the wonderful universities here ... even audit a couple.. because ... "It's not what you know, but who you know"...]

Cary-- People talk real bad about Cary. I think there's a lot of Northerners there. The toxic issue of, "Privilege" keeps coming up ... but taking the good with the bad, you may find more of the shops there... but again, the campus of UNC-Chapel Hill is HUGE ... and there are a lot of quaint spots around it. (Cary Vs. CH)

Charlotte -- Young people seem to love Charlotte. For me, it's another large city to escape from. Too many rats in the cage breeds "Designed Aggression" anywhere. But you may want to take a couple of trips there to check out what it has to offer.

Winston-Salem-- It's called, "The City of Arts" ... and I'm too new to really give it its due ... but so far all I've encountered is, "The City of Rudeness." It's a small city ... and I wouldn't discount it. I've heard too many good things about it. (Yes, there are bad things everywhere.)

Durham -- "The City of Science". I like Durham ... and even though I don't SEE the violence and crime when I'm there, I have to believe it because people black, white, brown, yellow, red, and pink say it's there. Durham is a classic example of what you can create for yourself. You can be really close to the city... yet buy a home in what we'd call a rural environment ... sort of having your cake and eating it too. Why cling to "urban" with FOUR DOGS ... when you can have rural or semi-rural in the county and do what you want?

What I'm experiencing is the need to give myself time to adjust and love this place for what it is ... rather than look at it through the lenses of what I once had or where I just left.

North Carolina feels like the perfect place for anyone to pick up pieces here and there and put them together to build a life they want. It's not all going to be here waiting for you... you have to go out and build...create what you want. If you have something to bring to the table... bring it.

Naturally, you're going to "vibe" with a lot of other transplants ... but I've also discovered that as long as I'm not being obnoxious or "putting on airs" ... the native Carolinians will show you kindness and look out for you as long as you respect and do the same for them. Like I said, this is also the East Coast and one of the oldest parts of the nation. There are some very wise souls here .. and there's some nosy stand off types who'll want to pull you down too. It's life. Be wise and go slow. It's lovely here.

[Obsle]

As a recent transplant to Eastern North Carolina I can attest to many of the claims made by VeganWriter. Despite having been born and raised in the South myself, there's a good number of difficulties living in this area of the state. There's an incredible number of people who are quick to judge "yankies" and as someone from Georgia (a state that is not known for its open-mindedness either) this was not a term I was quite familiar with. In fact, small town North Carolina residents are quick to assert their critiques of anyone new or different. If you do not end up moving to a larger city this is something that you must (unfortunately) be prepared for.

However, I can offer views on some of the places that I have visited thus far that might be of interest to you.
Raleigh: This is one of the cleanest cities I have ever visited, especially for its size. I spent a day near the downtown area and was pleased to find little traffic, for a weekend at least. I've often searched for jobs in the field of education within the area and I actually came across many in HR for the university. Perhaps before starting your own venture in HR you could establish yourself within the community? Just a thought.

Chapel Hill/Carrboro: You mentioned that you would be interested in the walk-ability of place which this area definitely has to offer. Chapel Hill is of course where you will immediately find a majority of the college kids which can become tiresome (I am only 24 so I suppose not far enough removed from that age group to make such a statement). However, once you cross over to Carrboro there is a change in the atmosphere. There were younger families and a moderately younger crowd lounging on the lawn in front of Weaver Street Market having picnics, coffee, reading, etc etc. The people were easy to talk to and I spoke with a couple who were walking their dogs and on their way to grab some beers outside of a pub. Overall, there is a very relaxed atmosphere and it may seem like I'm gushing over the place because I did fall in love with it a bit. The cost of living is a good bit higher than that of many other places in NC but it seems the community could be worth it.
On another note - UNC campus is nearby so the population influx on game days in any college town would be something to consider. People are very serious about their university sports in NC.

Charlotte: This seems to be a place that banks on the prestige of its different neighborhoods in a similar way that you might find in Portland, Oregon (if you're familiar). This website Charlotte Neighborhoods - Guide to Neighborhoods in Charlotte seems to hit the mark.
While visiting I experienced NoDA and Plaza Midwood as well as Uptown. NoDA is known for its creativity and art. It was a neat place with some great cafes and restaurants. I'm not quite sure about the proximity of parks and what not as I wasn't there long enough, although I did walk around about two miles outside of it in a more residential area where a friend was staying and there were some great little bungalows that would be suitable for dogs. Then there is Uptown - a business hub. This isn't quite where I would focus on living but you would likely be able to find something to help with the job hunt.
Now, I won't lie - traffic was a bit of a problem there but I imagine that's something you're familiar with being from San Diego.


I apologize if I didn't give you enough of an objective view on the areas. On another much more subjective note, I would definitely not recommend moving past Raleigh toward Greenville or beyond. The mentality of the area is certainly not one that caters to the open minded or to animal lovers. That's all I will say about that.

Hopefully something was helpful to you and good luck on your move!

[Sean_CLT]

I lived ten years in CA (grew up in NC) and thought CA had larger areas of poverty and wealth than NC does. In CA you can have eniterly rich cities like Palos Verdes or Aliso Viejo with no "middle class" so to speak of and no "urban problems". In NC there tend to be wealthy neighborhoods and poor neighborhoods in each town.

[katfishgumbo]

I am a California girl from Palm Springs who just moved to Holly Springs in North Carolina. I'm about 15-20 miles outside of Raleigh because I don't want to live in the city. There are many small towns around Raleigh. Most of the transplants live in Cary - what the locals call the Containment Area for Relocated Yankees - it's a "big, little city" - there is a lot of traffic there but all the good stores and malls are there, too. There is also work there - and I think it would be better for you to consider starting your business there. Raleigh is congested with too many businesses already. I live in Holly Springs - about 5 miles outside the town limits of Cary - but there is also Knightdale, Zebulon, Morrisville and Apex - just to name a few - that are small towns right outside of Raleigh.

As far as work goes, I was disheartened to read that as an HR person, you won't hire someone from out of state. I plan to live the rest of my life here, but have not found a job in the 4 months I've been here. I've applied for some 42 state and local town and county jobs - have only had two interviews. I have over 25 years of administrative assistant experience, computer skills, and 15 years experience with county government in California. If ALL HR people feel the way that you do, then should I assume I will never find work? I didn't come with 2 years of savings. My daughter is a grad student at NCSU, and we found a house to rent easily enough. She works for a national drug store chain part-time, so she was able to transfer her job from CA to NC - and also, she got a second part-time job at the university. I came with about $10,000 but after paying movers and rental move-in costs here, I went through the money pretty fast. I am still receiving unemployment from CA, but it will be exhausted in a few months.

As far as your dogs go, be forewarned that many things are different here in NC. Most of the tenant-landlord laws that apply in CA do not apply here. In NC, it is legal for landlords to charge what they call a "pet FEE", not a "pet deposit" - and the FEE is non-refundable. We paid $250 per pet and we have 2 cats and 2 dogs. We will never get that $1,000 back, even if we leave our rental in perfect condition, which I always have done in the past. Also, you have to pay property tax on your vehicle, you will be assessed a 3% "highway tax" when you register your car for the first time, and all liquor, except for beer and wine, is sold in government-owned stores called ABC stores. A little conflict of interest that the government that claims they want to control the sale of liquor also makes quit a PROFIT from selling it. Not saying you drink - I don't much - but it's just weird to have to shop in a government store for booze. I also think utilities are a bit high here - but I suppose they are everywhere. I do pay a lot more for internet here than I did in So Cal.

You will experience serious culture shock here. But I DO love Holly Springs - I live in a quaint little neighborhood, but there are doctors and dentists and grocery stores, Walmart, Target, a vet, auto repair shops, drugstores - you name it - about 1 - 2 miles from my house. Other favorite stores like Trader Joes, Kohls, JC Penney and World Market are about 7 or 8 miles away in Cary. Costco is the only store I have to go to Raleigh for - but it's right off the freeway. The freeway entrance is about 4 miles from my home, and there are back roads into Cary and Raleigh, which I prefer, when I just don't want to deal with the freeway, or "beltline" as it is called here.

We were in a motel for 9 days with our dogs and cats while looking for a rental. We stayed at the La Quinta Suites in Cary on Crescent Green - right off the Tryon Exit on the 40 Fwy. They had a marvelous place to walk dogs behind the hotel. Even though Tryon is one of the busiest streets in Cary, Crescent Green is quiet and you would never know you are in the city. La Quinta Suites did not charge us a pet fee, either - and some of the hotels like Extended Stay wanted $150 per pet fee.

Feel free to ask me other questions - I hope I've been a little bit helpful. My name is Kat. Good luck.

[EdCampbell]

Charlotte is great,

Moved here from SoCal as well.

You have housing from 50k to 10 Mil on Lake Norman

job market is good for your field, We do have more than banking here.