Why wouldn't you relocate from NC to NY/NJ? (Durham: apartments, day care)

[kcarter1913]

As I am reading these thread I can't help but notice that there are a lot of people relocating to NC from NY/NJ and I can't understand WHY. I have never lived in NY, but my mother is from there and most of my family is in NY/NJ and Philly and I love it there. It's feel with more diverse communities and more things to do for children and just better opportunites. I know the cost of living is much more and I know the saying "different strokes for different folks" is true, so I'm not trying to convince anyone not to relocate here because like you I'm in need of a change. I am married with 2 children 14 and 7 and I would love to put my daughter in the Fashion high school NY and get my son involved in acting classes. But if you were me why wouldn't you move from Raliegh NC to New York?

[scorp200]

I think for a lot of people the cost of living is just too high up there. You can make it work though if you can find a job that pays enough, and you don't need a car...or you can find something way out in a borough.

I personally think much of the Triangle looks like western/central/south Jersey.

I'd move from here to NYC (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens) but I'm not typical...I moved here from FL for a job.

I guess you get more for your money here. People say that people are nicer here but I found NYers to be nice as well, it's just in a different way).

I think if you want to encourage your kids to take those paths and you're prepared for the costs then you should do it.

[findinghope]

we moved here from NJ. we have no family here, but with cc debt and the cost of living which made that debt, we cld no longer stay there. we were both working, just had a baby, he worked nights i worked days, never saw each other...
we tried to make it work for almost 10 years to fight through it, but it became a losing battle for us.
many people can make it!
now, i am a SAHM for now, and we were able to get a home. we are not living rich trust me, but the stress is lower now.
are people nicer here--maybe at first glance, because they look right at you, they strike up conversations. people in NY, NJ are as likely to strike up a conversation, and say hello when you pass. but mostly they are in such a rush, they dont take the time.
the only other perk has been the weather, its just a little more mild here...

[Gatornation]

Money and Money.

[HereToStay1]

Moved down here a year and a half ago with my wife from Long Island. We both worked in Manhatten, but my wife was a country girl and wanted a change. I was numb to the shoving and pushing on the subways, the 3 hour commute each day, and the "first initial attitude" from Nyer's. I am born and raised a NY'er and I loved working in NYC, but the commute and cost of living on Long Island were just too expensive when you consider how F'ed up the economy is now. Parents are working longer hours, nannies and day care are a FT job. Only Doctors/ Lawyers / and possibly Stock Brokers ( smart ones) have a wife that takes care of their children and doesn't have to work.

So I moved down here for a better life, ( one of the best places to live, weather, crime, COL ). There are also times I don't like it here. That initial Southern attitude will sometimes change when you open up your mouth and have them hear your "accent". I actually had a dentist stop working on me turned and sighed and said where are you from... Like i just declined him on a loan? lol I have met nice and friendly southerners though also, who are very genuine. Overall it is a better place to live cost wise, and if Good ole Al is correct a safer place..( beach front in 20 years anyone? ).

One a side note, Nyer's are one of the most friendliest people you will ever meet, AFTER you get passed the initial defensive wall we have. Been to the midwest( ohio , Florida and now NC) and we ARE treated like a mutant in other states by some people...it just goes with the territory. So I understand why some people move back up north, but not me. I would rather live in a community with a better life for my kids than what I experienced...there when the towers fell... 6 blocks away.

[ChrisatDuke]

I've been in NC for two years for grad school, and I'm now in the job search process. I'm primarily looking in the NYC/Jersey region. One reason is because I still have a lot of family there. Another is because I love the faster pace of life and city atmosphere. Don't get me wrong, Durham is great, but I'm in my early 20s, and I'm sick of the suburbs.

[Funky Chicken]

Let's see.
I spend 10 less hours commuting every week.
My home is brand new and 3 times the size of the one I lived in.
The weather is far better IMO.
Property taxes while not low are still far less than I used to pay.
I know, like, and socialize with my neighbors.
I like everyone I work with.
My stress level is FAR lower in terms of dealing with the everyday nonsense of life.
People here tend to be more genuine, with far fewer backstabbers/manipulators/people with hidden agendas.
Moving here was the best thing I ever did, BUT it is NOT for everyone.

The only reason I can give people to NOT come really depends on their attitude. If you don't truly want to move and let go of your identity as a New Yorker/New Jerseyan/what have you, then it's unlikely that you will have enough of an open mind to make a move work.

[cupkrazy]

My wife is from NY. She moved here 6 years ago. She says the weather is the reason. After her sister and her family came for a visit from Boston, they moved down less than a year later. Then her mom moved here after retiring from school teaching in NY.
They all say the same thing, the spring and summer are much longer and they can enjoy the out doors a lot more which make quality of life better.

[smalltownusa]

Originally Posted by kcarter1913

As I am reading these thread I can't help but notice that there are a lot of people relocating to NC from NY/NJ and I can't understand WHY. I have never lived in NY, but my mother is from there and most of my family is in NY/NJ and Philly and I love it there. It's feel with more diverse communities and more things to do for children and just better opportunites. I know the cost of living is much more and I know the saying "different strokes for different folks" is true, so I'm not trying to convince anyone not to relocate here because like you I'm in need of a change. I am married with 2 children 14 and 7 and I would love to put my daughter in the Fashion high school NY and get my son involved in acting classes. But if you were me why wouldn't you move from Raliegh NC to New York?

Two words: weather and taxes.....

[superk]

My mom originally grew up in MA. The company that her dad worked for decided to move to NJ. My grandfather didn't want to relocate to NJ, but decided to reluctantly go instead of losing his job. For the whole time he was there, up until he retired, he couldn't wait to leave. The second he got a chance he was gone to ME. My parents eventually settled in CT, and I know that my mom preferred there over NJ any day.

My wife and I at one point had to relocate to NY. That was the most miserable three years of our lives. Horrific weather, constant dark, cloudy days, and very little time to enjoy the outdoors. Decent apartments were nowhere to be found. Salaries were a joke. We couldn't wait to leave.