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Old 03-20-2016, 09:55 AM
 
Location: Berkshire, UK
23 posts, read 15,766 times
Reputation: 19

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Hi All,

We are relocating from the UK to NC in 10 months and trying to get our head around childcare!

Here in the UK we have a live in aupair and love it! We have had 3 which have all been very successful, we have ended up loving them like family and helping them acquire their dream jobs. They have all been Spanish and taught the children their language as well as taking brilliant care of them. We work from home so are around to oversee things and therefore feel an aupair works best for us. We are also very sociable so if we can escape out the odd evening when they are in bed an aupair works perfectly for this.

Looking at aupairs in the states, you have to go through an agency, which costs silly money! I don't mind paying an aupair well but i begrudge paying an agency $9,000 to do something i don't even want them to. I am capable of sourcing and selecting an aupair for myself and I don't want someone to tell me how long the relationship will work for both etc.

Nannies and day care seem expensive and restrictive - $10-$20 per hour.

Is there another way? local care/arrangements?

Can you organise aupairs directly? We will live in a nice home and provide a great quality of life, car, and our children don't need much.. they will be at school so its just dropping off/preparing food and being around - not difficult.

Thanks so much in advance for any insight..

Ashley
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Old 03-20-2016, 11:48 AM
 
Location: Sneads Ferry, NC
11,266 posts, read 19,818,967 times
Reputation: 5089
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashley_Mc View Post
Here in the UK we have a live in aupair and love it! We have had 3 which have all been very successful,...
Can you organise aupairs directly? .... they will be at school so its just dropping off/preparing food and being around - not difficult.
There are very different cultural expectations here. American girls do not usually do live-in work and au pairs are not common. If you do want an au pair, you will have to deal with US immigration authorities. That is probably more hassle than you want, so the agencies earn their money.

It sounds more like you want a housekeeper, mother's helper or after-school babysitter rather than a nanny. Even if that person has a work visa, she will not normally want to be a live-in worker. You could try advertising in a local newspaper or on Craigslist. However, screening people is enough of a hassle that you would probably want an agency to screen prospects and ensure they have legal work visas. They have to be paid the legal wage and have income tax and Social Security with-held, so it is often easier to contract with an agency which pays the worker.

In fact, most American couples who work from home would not have hired help at all. Mom or Dad would deliver the kids to the bus-stop or school, and Mom would prepare the meals. If they do not want to clean the house, they hire a housekeeping firm.

Last edited by goldenage1; 03-20-2016 at 12:15 PM..
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Old 03-20-2016, 12:04 PM
 
Location: NC High Country
3,867 posts, read 6,670,872 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by goldenage1 View Post
In fact, most American couples who work from home would not have hired help at all. Mom or Dad would deliver the kids to the bus-stop or school, and Mom would prepare the meals. if they do not want to clean the house, they hire a housekeeping firm.
Or Dad if he's the at-home parent.
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Old 03-20-2016, 01:25 PM
 
Location: Sneads Ferry, NC
11,266 posts, read 19,818,967 times
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Originally Posted by roadpony View Post
Or Dad if he's the at-home parent.
I tried to be non-sexist, but failed. From reading this forum, however, one would believe that American women put their careers on hold and become full-time helicopter parents when they have small kids.

Perhaps the OP could look into offering room rent to a college student in exchange for part-time child-care and cooking.

I have read that there are only 13 full-time aupair agencies in the USA, so that is not an easy route to child-care. I have little idea what the visa requirements are, but I believe it is a time-limited visa and one has to guarantee a round-trip back to the aupair's home country.
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Old 03-20-2016, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Berkshire, UK
23 posts, read 15,766 times
Reputation: 19
Hmm i don't think culturally it is so different, British girls wouldn't typically live in either. Aupairs this side of the world tend to come from European countries like Spain, Poland, France - countries where it is not so easy to get a job due to economical difficulties. Their goal is to use the opportunity to either speak better English or gain experience working with children and then return home with a better chance of getting a job. I know there are plenty that want to do the same in the states.

I will do a refreshed search with these terms "housekeeper, mother's helper or after-school babysitter" thanks for the guidance.

Whilst we work from home and our presence is at home, we both work full time and sometimes travel so are unable to commit to drop offs and ensure we can prepare meals. Our children are also too young to not be constantly looked after. I don't want to clean the house but i will continue to hire a cleaner for that purpose.
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Old 03-20-2016, 01:39 PM
 
Location: Sneads Ferry, NC
11,266 posts, read 19,818,967 times
Reputation: 5089
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashley_Mc View Post
Their goal is to use the opportunity to either speak better English or gain experience working with children and then return home with a better chance of getting a job. I know there are plenty that want to do the same in the states.
I did find the immigration requirement for aupairs in the USA. They are covered under the J1 visa, and their term is limited to 12 months, extendable to a maximum of 12 more months. So the agencies do have to abide by the time-limits. It is not a back-door for someone the gain permanent residence in the USA. Here's the website: Programs | Au Pair | Programs | J-1 Visa

I have read the some American girls from Utah or the Midwest will do aupair work, but I have no experience with it.
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Old 03-20-2016, 01:51 PM
 
Location: Dude...., I'm right here
1,128 posts, read 708,514 times
Reputation: 596
It sounds like your best bet is a nanny. The US also allows expats to come with their own domestic workers. You may want to look into this.
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Old 03-20-2016, 02:15 PM
 
Location: Berkshire, UK
23 posts, read 15,766 times
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Yes i found the j1 visa but cant 100% confirm if it can only be applied for by an agency and not an individual.

As i said, most aupairs want to take there new found skills back to thier home country, whether it be Spain or else where not to get long term residency. In Spain right now for example, you cant get a teaching job unless your conversational english is perfect which most cant do without time in an english speaking country.

I am happy sticking to a 12 month situation, all going well.

Thats interesting that expats can come with domestic staff- will look into it 1omdener, thanks!
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Old 03-20-2016, 03:03 PM
 
398 posts, read 370,658 times
Reputation: 327
I'm wondering why you had children in the first place.
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Old 03-20-2016, 05:27 PM
 
Location: NC High Country
3,867 posts, read 6,670,872 times
Reputation: 3829
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky Dawg View Post
I'm wondering why you had children in the first place.
It's none of your business.
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