Considering relocating to NC (Charlotte: buy, school, closing)

[Carolina Girl]

Originally Posted by jasonkruk

I don't know how well you would be taken there, in 2005 it was 78% white, 17% black and 5% hispanic. There are still areas in NC that white supremecy is still a way of life . Most people have gotten over this, but some areas, especially near and in the mountain region, have not.

That is ridiculous! I amn very familiar with the mountain region and 'white suprememcy' is NOT a way of life! People may cluster more in the mountains and you will probably see that across the board, but it is no such thing as 'white supremecy'. Mountain people are just like other people if they like you they will do anything for you. If they don't ...well you get my drift. Mountain people are a bit more protective of the environment for sure. They were red hot mad (so was I) when after protecting the area around the Blue Ridge Parkway for their entire lives, some developer came down from the North and went to court to sue for the right to build expensive houses in environmentally protected areas. Tarheels had been raised that the land surrounding the parkway was virtually sacred and then somebody came in and for the almighty dollar took that away. Sure they were mad and as I said, I was too. That is happening far too often lately. Nobody seems to respect the environment anymore or heritage. Talk is cheap. Plain and simple, leave it alone!

But, no you won't have to worry about cross burnings. My son has a bi-racial marriage and they have no problem whatsoever and he goes to the mountains often.

[Carolina Girl]

Originally Posted by Francois

Another native NC'ian (though very educated and politically progressive) here--here is the lowdown on the "Yankee factor":

The reason "Yankees" can be maligned here is that unfortunately there are far too many with the "streotypical Yankee" personalitiy, namely loud, impatient, and overbearing. It's funny that folks move here for the "Southern hospitality" but then (some) treat the "natives" with a condescending "I'm-so-much-better-and-more-metropolitan-then-you" attitude, and no WONDER they get hostility back in return!

Treat people with kindness and a willingless to learn the "local ways", and you'll find people very welcoming, often in a Leave It To Beaver neighborly way. But move here and immeidately start *****ing about "But we did it like THIS up north!!" or make assumptions that Southerners are stupid, ignorant, or all a bunch of religious fanatics (as TV would have you believe), and you'll find yourself a victim of the same kind of Regional stereotyping.

And, making fun of Southern accents (please don't ever EVER call it a "Drawl", which is insulting) is grounds for war. Actually NC has about 5 different varieties of "Southern", which can be fun to listen for.


Francois, NC Native

Well, looks like you are forcing me to go back and read this whole thread to help debunk it. It sure surprises the heck out of me that 'drawl' is insulting. The only thing that isnults me is when someone relates a southern accent or
'drawl if you will' to ignorant. There are people who's eyes show that they think you are stupid the minute they hear an accent. That reminds me of the old 'when you point a finger, four are pointing back at you.' line... Geez, now I have to read the whole thing!

[Carolina Girl]

Originally Posted by Robojudge

Though I now live in Chapel Hill, I lived most of my adult life in Hickory. But my work took me to Asheville for extended assignments (6 months in duration, with daily commute). Asheville is an artsy place, with a nice style of life. More expensive living costs by North Carolina, driven in part by location, repution, and influx of retirees to the North Carolina mountains. The mountains are beautiful, and mountain people are unique. In North Carolina, the eastern and western parts of our State are totally different. Though close to Hickory, Asheville does experience more cold weather and icy/snowy conditions in the winter because of the higher elevations. Asheville is the largest city in the western mountains, and most mountain towns are small and rural. Hickory and Asheville are approximately the same size po****tion wise.

If I had to choose, I would select Hickory. Highly industrialized, it does have some economic problems. Much of the Hickory economy was built on furniture and textiles. As many jobs have been outsourced, it has caused higher unemployment in those industries. On the other hand, Hickory has emerged as a leading manufacturer of fiber optic cable, and has solidly established itself as a regional center for medical care, entertainment, etc. It's proximity to Asheville, Charlotte and Winston-Salem, all within slightly more than one hour's drive, make it an ideal place by location. Asheville has some nice residential areas, but I believe Hickory offers nicer residential areas. At the foothills, it is within easy driving distance of our greatest mountain scenery. Hickory has historically had a very progressive and entreprenurial leadership in business and government.

I'm not sure about the pace of life in Massachusetts, but the pace of life (with a few exceptions) in North Carolina tends to be slow across the State. With only a handful of metropolitan areas, most of the State is still rural. Hickory has grown more rapidly in recent years because of its diverse offerings.

Actually, you couldn't go wrong with either place, but I prefer Hickory to Asheville. Asheville is a great place to visit, but I would rather live in Hickory.

I too grew up in the Hickory area and am quite familiar with Asheville. I am surprised to hear you say Hickory has better housing and more progressive. Are you sure you have been to the same places? They are pretty comparable IMO. With the furniture plants closed and the knitting mills too, Hickory has had serious economic decline. That isn't to say I don't like Hickory because I do, but I am just trying to offer another view.

[Carolina Girl]

Originally Posted by baily

there a wonderful active community comming to cary by del webb www.amberly.com
there will be a 30,0000 square foot club house there's a number you can call on the del webb site go to map n.c when your on the www.delwebb.com
site . there a wonderful club house sales start in march check it out hope this helps baily

are you the site agent?

[Carolina Girl]

Luckydog,
Maybe some of the NC natives can give us a clearer picture of what behaviors are seen as most obnoxious?

I can't find your original post on this question but I saw where someone else responded to it and I would like to do so to.

As a native, the thing that raises my furor faster than anything else is that some/many from the North infer that by virtue of our having accents, we thus have a lower IQ and further act as if we are 'servants'. I will tell you that I know of instances where this attitude caused those northern immigrants 'great slow downs' or other inconveniences. It would be much better if people judged others on their individual assets rather than on some presubscribed prejudice. It is clearly one of the last acceptable prejudices and it is assumed to be a 'truth'. I have often wanted to ask those people if Archie Bunker accurately defined them because his character was just as realistic as that of Gomer Pyle. I have often encountered the stupidest people I have ever seen in my life (from the north) who inferred they were 'smarter'. Right after I 'restrain myself' I try to find a killer line that asks something to the effect of 'on what basis are you making that judgment'. I can promise you that in probably upward of 90% of the time I can prove that they are NOT superior to me in any way based on facts.

I use to work for a major utility company and many northerners came in with the idea that we had never 'heard that line' before or were not sophisticated enough to deal with them. Wanna bet? One day I did a credit check on a very rude man and found that he had old bills in every town north of Mobile. So, I was not only able to charge him a deposit, I was required to protect my company and charge him a deposit. First he tried arrogance, then he tried 'control', then a nicer form of reasoning but he couldn't get past the fact that he had multitudes of old unpaid bills. So, he called me a 'stupid, ignorant, southern SOB'. When he finished his rant, I asked in the sweetest southern accent I could muster 'Sir, did you leave anything out?' which, of course set him off again as was my intent. Ironically, he was not the exception to the rule in his behavior. Not all were rude, but many were. That is uncalled for and no one has to tolerate that. Politeness costs nothing and if someone, sometime sound a little 'inhospitable' it may be that he/she has been called something such as I described by the last customer. Please forgive them and be nice.

There are a few others but that one is the worst. I am not against 'Yankees', I married one. But, I married one who knew how to treat other people. Thanks for asking.

[Carolina Girl]

Originally Posted by pixieshmoo

We met, talked, laughed and so on but while in NJ, we're rude, nasty and pushy to each other. It took a large group of one state to visit another state to learn to be nice to each other. Make any sense?

But, that is what many do when they move away and it is called 'clustering'. Assimilation is also something that should be tried IMO.

[Carolina Girl]

Originally Posted by NYer

RE: Northern manners

I have a relatively new neighbor, a Texan, who is incredibly rude. She is angry at those of us who stand on the street & chat while the kids play. She screamed at us that back in Texas people had the good sense to stay in their backyards. I said she should have observed the neighborhood before she moved here- why should we all change for her? That was our last conversation. She doesn't acknowledge any of the neighbors. I won't miss her!

Texas simply isn't Southern. Texas is southwestern. No way are we going to claim those cow pokes! Got it now? That's Southwestern (with a smirk).

[Carolina Girl]

Originally Posted by angelaf

Thank you for posting that, Luckydog.
Here in Wisconsin and Minnesota, that kind of forward friendliness is really rare. The term "Minnesota Nice" has been pretty much dismissed as a myth. In fact, being friendly to a stranger might be the quickest way to scare someone off! When I go to a grocery store or gas station, even eye contact with the cashier is uncommon, let alone a "Hello, how's it going?" Many transactions take place without so much as a "Thank you."

I've lived here all my life and this is all I know. I think it's going to be quite a culture shock coming to NC and being among people who are so socially opposite from us. I've lived in my house for almost three years and have only met one of my neighbors, and that's probably only because we share a driveway. I walk my dogs down our street every day and often, people will be standing outside their houses or sitting in their yards, but they never, ever wave or say hello. I tried at first, but it was never returned. I hadn't considered the people of NC to be one of its biggest selling points, to be honest, because I'm pretty liberal, but maybe I don't know as much as I think I do. Maybe there's something to be said for all this friendliness. I'll be visiting in a few weeks, and I think it's important that I keep my eyes and ears open and my mouth shut.

For some 'yet to be determined' reason, your post reminds me of a true event. My husband and I went to a local cultural arts center for a performance and expected that everyone would be on their best social behavior as is the norm. We sat down and the seat beside me was empty. Soon another couple came in and the man took the seat beside me. Before he got his seat warm he turned to me in a very confrontational voice (with a northern accent) and said 'We have to negotiate this arm rest. I'll take it the first half and you can have it the second.' Well, I have gone there regularly for years and this is absolutely a first. So, while astounded I decided I wasn't going to be pushed again. So, I looked at him and said 'No. I am short and always use the back end of the arm rest and you are taller and can use the front. He glared at me for a minute and then said 'Well, I suppose we can try that.' Where has he been! That's the way I do it with every other patron who sits next to me. While I have 'taught' my husband to sit in a theatre without sitting 'spread eagle', many men haven't been taught as well. Yet, my husband would never have even considered negotiating an arm rest and he negotiates all the time at work.

[NYer]

Originally Posted by Carolina Girl

Texas simply isn't Southern. Texas is southwestern. No way are we going to claim those cow pokes! Got it now? That's Southwestern (with a smirk).

Ok, got it, but I just won't believe that this chick represents all of Texas!

[pixieshmoo]

I'd like to say something in defense of "us" northerners. I'm from New Jersey and I've said it before in here and I'm sticking to it...it is wrong if someone moves somewhere and tries to force upon those people the ways of where they came from. When someone is moving, maybe except for a mandatory job transfer, it is because they WANT to LEAVE somewhere else, whatever the reason may be. You are all correct, why should we want to leave the NY/NJ metro area, if all we're going to do is try to turn our new home into the kind of place we just left? I don't debate that at all. But my two defenses are this: 1. Not all of us want to do that (I hope) and 2. I've read alot in here about the hostility of northerners moving down south because of the changes we cause. I've heard it put many ways, i.e. we come in caravans, we want to liberate, take over, rearrange. Call it what you may but one thing the south doesn't understand is that the north deals with that all the time too!!! What about all of the immigrants who come here? Whether it be a legal or an illegal immigrant, what's one of the first places they go to? Answer: New York. Why? Because it's the melting pot, the land of opportunity. They know that this area is one of few who will except ANYONE no matter who they are or what they look like or what they believe in. It's where all the major jobs are...again, The Land of Opportunity. My own grandfather left Italy and ended up where? New York!!! When kids from the middle of nowhere graduate HS or college and they want to try out a new life of excitement, or pick the area with the most job opportunity, where do they go? New York!! When someone decides, they want to try a career in acting but aren't ready for "Hollywood", where do they go? New York!!! When people feel oppressed and segregated because of a lifestyle they chose and want to be accepted for who they are, where do they go? New York!!! When someone is a murderer or rapist and they want to hide in the crowd, where do they go? New York (that was a joke but it got your attention I bet ) And when people can't afford living directly in the city, where do they go? New Jersey!!

So my second defense is that we get it just as bad, if not worse than the south. We just get it before it comes to you

I think the point is that when sh*t hits the fan, it flies everywhere...we're all gonna get it and most of us aren't going to like it.