Southern Hospitality? (Charlotte, Raleigh, Concord: how much, house, neighborhood)

[coloradocutter]

My husband and I have been thinking about moving back to NC after living in CO for several years. We love it here, but we are starting a family and think that ultimately we'd be happier back in NC nearer to them. One of the things that I think that I have missed about NC, is that people in the south do get into your business. I say *think* because it is also something that I hated about NC.

It seems like people native to the south would be the ones who brought over food when someone was ill or would offer to pick up your mail while you were away on vacation. It also seemed that every social experience that I had there: school, church, college, etc. was plagued by gossiping and often judgements. Also, there were times our male neighbors would grow up and drive my dad and later my husband nuts about borrowing tools, lawn gear, and getting help to work on stuff. Kind of a general concerned but sometimes self-interested or self-motivated nosiness or something...

That is really missing in the west. People in CO kind of assume you'll take care of yourself. They throw up a hand when you are walking your dog, but people don't stop and talk. You have to really make the effort.

I miss older women calling me honey and sugar. When you go to a doctor's office sometimes, the receptionist and nurses would be so friendly like they knew you forever. Just made you feel good. I miss whatever that is, but again, I wonder if it's the same thing that causes the gossip, etc.

If anyone else knows what I am talking about, I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts on it.

I think this is the one thing that we miss about NC that we can't reproduce in CO. Overall though, I can deal without the trees here and the green as I just love the weather and the outdoors stuff. I am trying to brace myself for crowds again and humidity.

[cynwldkat]

I have been amazed about how really friendly people are here. I moved here a year ago from CA. I would much rather have a neighbor be a little nosey but to really care at the same time. I love it here. It just seems they actually "care" here for their fellow men/women. Yes, I suppose it could be a pain at times but hey, they will be there for you and really will care. That's not found in many other places.

[J_Lurk]

I'm a native of NC and I lived in Minnesota for about 10 years. The atmosphere there was similar to what you describe in Colorado. I only knew one of my neighbors ... who turned out to be from NC. When a tree fell on my house everyone came out and looked and said "are you OK?" and then they went home and left me to deal with it.

I have to say that on return to NC it is the best of both worlds. I have met a lot of my neighbors, and I have ones that I've exchanged keys with and trust to check my cat, but for the most part we aren't in each others business the way you saw when we were young. I'm in the Triangle, and I think that there is a balance right now between southern hospitality and northern self-sufficiency that is really nice. I'd imagine you'll find that anywhere in NC that has had significant immigration from other areas of the country.

I also moved back because I was starting a family, and I have to say that on that front it has been very worth it.

[Barkingowl]

I think what you are really missing is the sweet tea.

[andreaspercheron]

Ohh you had to go with the sweet tea, I love that stuff! There is nothing like it in PA or anywhere even close!

[RuralCoastalGuy]

coloradocutter:

I know exactly what you are talking about!

In my neighborhood everyone waves at everyone else as they drive by, walk by, or pass through on farm equipment. Folks still refer to you as Mister Mike or Mrs. Karen or Miss Judi and no one shows signs of undue stress. There's nothing like looking up at the Carolina blue sky and sitting on the deck with a glass of sweet tea.

We moved here 13 years ago and lived in Raleigh for a year but my wife is a country gal so we moved way out into rural farm country, which is okay as I was self employed before I retired.

Sure some try to get into your business and some never stop trying to save you, but all in all this is a happy bunch of folks here.

Sounds to me like y'all just can't get the "tar" off your "heels".

[KyAnn]

I moved from Concord, NC (close to Charlotte) to Lancaster, PA a little less then a year ago and I never realized how much I loved that hospitality until I moved here. Everyone is so cold and detached here. I really miss people calling me "darlin" and being able to return that label to other people without getting a weird stare. And I miss the BBQ...if I'm going to be honest with myself. Lol.

[lovesunnydays]

That is so true about colorado! I moved to littleton, co from the east coast a year ago and am packing up back to move to either virginia (where I grew up) or nc this summer. When I moved to colorado, my mother's standard advice was: "Don't tell everyone your business." And I told her, "No one here ever asks a question!" No matter what I say to get a conversation going, it doesn't generate any interest. I've never experienced anything like it. It's helpful to hear it's not just me.

[spankys bbq]

I'll gladly take a little nosiness in exchange for a group of friendly people who like to help.

The BBQ ain't bad either.

[cynwldkat]

Maybe some are a bit nosey but I think they mostly just want to be friendly. It's like they actually "care". You just can't find that in many places now days. Oh yes, of course the Sweet tea is what I would miss terribly. Had never heard of it in CA but won't go without it now here in NC.