What if not Christian? (Charlotte, Raleigh: fit in, credit, lawyers)

[Desdemona123]

Originally Posted by Trail Majic

Desdemona123,That is good advise. The less said sometimes is the best.

Well, I don't think it's 'the best'...as a person should be looked at for what sort of person they go to, not what church they show up to a few times a week....but until this bible belt mentality is squelched, it's safer thing to say nothing.

[RaleighRob]

I don't see that really...this may be the "bible belt" but the Triangle (and Asheville proper probably) has definitely unbuckled that belt somewhat.

You can be as open & proud of whatever religion you are (or none at all) and I think most folks will still embrace you as equal. And if you do get someone giving you a bad look or treat you differently, who gives a rat's butt? They ain't worthy of being your friend anyways. They'll be plenty of other folks who'll be just as happy to embrace you for who you are.

[Desdemona123]

Originally Posted by RaleighRob

I don't see that really...this may be the "bible belt" but the Triangle (and Asheville proper probably) has definitely unbuckled that belt somewhat.

You can be as open & proud of whatever religion you are (or none at all) and I think most folks will still embrace you as equal. And if you do get someone giving you a bad look or treat you differently, who gives a rat's butt? They ain't worthy of being your friend anyways. They'll be plenty of other folks who'll be just as happy to embrace you for who you are.

It matters when these good Christians go around spreading lies, shun your children (who are probably better behaved then theres) and in a work enviroment promotions can be denied and general, but very subtle, harrasment, are real dangers.

Of coarse these folks are never called on the carpet about it, because no one can imagine that a church going person would do these things.

It's not about just picking friends....it's how this bible belt mentality colors society in general in the South that would never come up in other locations.

As I said...I love everything about being in NC (and never want to move back)....except this.

[NYer]

Originally Posted by Desdemona123

It matters when these good Christians go around spreading lies, shun your children (who are probably better behaved then theres) and in a work enviroment promotions can be denied and general, but very subtle, harrasment, are real dangers.

Of coarse these folks are never called on the carpet about it, because no one can imagine that a church going person would do these things.

It's not about just picking friends....it's how this bible belt mentality colors society in general in the South that would never come up in other locations.

As I said...I love everything about being in NC (and never want to move back)....except this.

That sounds awful.
That is a big part of why we insisted on new construction in an area with lots of new people.
I am assuming you work for a local employer?
My husband has found teh office here more religious but not overbearing, there are many denominations of Christians, some Jews & some who chose not to discuss it.
At elementary schoool, it is very open, & like the league of nations- quite diverse. Middle school? Not so much. Don't ask me why. Maybe one of you can enlighten me. We are Christian so that is not an issue, it is the "Yankee hating" that my son is sick of.

[RaleighRob]

I guess that's where one of the big differences between urban, suburban and rural life definitely come to play, particularly in the Bible Belt. Just a couple of miles, even, can be a quite different culture.

In most urban areas, you'll find the religious types often the minority, with most people sleeping in on Sundays till noon, then wandering out for a "Bloody Mary Brunch". lol
But in the majority of the suburban areas, and almost all of the rural areas, in the bible belt, the situation that Desdemona123 describes is probably still the norm.

I guess my best advice for a non-Christian and/or nonreligious person moving here would be to be VERY picky about where you live. Find those cities where you can most be who you are and everyone likes you for it.

[Desdemona123]

Originally Posted by NYer

That sounds awful.
That is a big part of why we insisted on new construction in an area with lots of new people.
I am assuming you work for a local employer?
My husband has found teh office here more religious but not overbearing, there are many denominations of Christians, some Jews & some who chose not to discuss it.
At elementary schoool, it is very open, & like the league of nations- quite diverse. Middle school? Not so much. Don't ask me why. Maybe one of you can enlighten me. We are Christian so that is not an issue, it is the "Yankee hating" that my son is sick of.

We did move into new construction! In a new development! Thankfully most folks are very nice, but the Christian bullies have made a point of saying nasty things (Too bad none of them can even follow the rules of the HOA themselves!) and the new folks they got ahold of threatened my life for not being Christian after moving in three days before! (Talk about a WHOA moment!)

I am surprised about your middle school (WF-R?). At Ligon the United Nations has continued, which is great. At the last birthday party we had girls from 5 different countries (US, Cuba, Iraq, Mexico and Canada) and NC natives and transplants from within the US.

I don’t personally have a problem at work, as we transplanted with many others from my area up North (it’s funny to work with folks down here that I went to high school up there!), and almost all of upper management is from Ohio, but it has been a problem from friends of mine with other employers.

The worst, a woman, fully qualified was flat out told at the smaller business she worked at that unless she started attending an approved of Baptist church and be ‘saved’ she would never been promoted as she couldn’t be trusted if she Catholic!. She found another job, even though this one had great hours and was close to home.

We haven’t found much ‘Yankee hating’ thought it was sort of tense at times at work when we first came down. I’ve found that after 3 years that most of us Northerners are pretty well accepted. It took some time for everyone to get used to each other. Rock says it’s never been an issue for her at school. Occasionally we’ll hear some silly comment when out in town and once when invited a couple we thought we could be friends with to go have a drink at O’Dweyer’s and watch a ‘Canes game and they were offended that we’d want them to go into a ‘Yankee Bar’ and watch a ‘Yankee’s game’. Needless to say, we crossed them off the list of folks to socialize with in the future!.

[RaleighRob]

Originally Posted by Desdemona123

The worst, a woman, fully qualified was flat out told at the smaller business she worked at that unless she started attending an approved of Baptist church and be ‘saved’ she would never been promoted as she couldn’t be trusted if she Catholic!. She found another job, even though this one had great hours and was close to home.

That's just flat-out illegal and breaks all kinds of state and federal laws. She should sue their righteous pants off!

[Desdemona123]

Originally Posted by RaleighRob

That's just flat-out illegal and breaks all kinds of state and federal laws. She should sue their righteous pants off!

Yes it is illegal...but she has kids that go to the same school as the owner's children, her husband also works in the same town.

It's easy to say 'They should sue', when the reality is a lot more unpleasent with far reaching ramifications.

[Ms.Charlotte]

Originally Posted by Desdemona123

....but until this bible belt mentality is squelched, it's safer thing to say nothing.

Are you joking? You want to move here and have the entire culture of the South change to make you feel more comfortable? Weren't you aware that this is the Bible belt before you moved?

I'm truly sorry that you have had such bad experiences here. I hope you realize that there are many, many, warm, loving Christians who are not judgmental. We are human, and do make mistakes. Being a Christian does not mean you will do everything the right way. We are all flawed-Christians and those of other religions. I can't imagine where you live that you've encountered so many rude people.

I do ask of you one thing. Please try to stop bashing Christians in general. It's very insulting to those of us who love Jesus and do try to live our lives according to God's Word.

[Desdemona123]

Originally Posted by Ms.Charlotte

Are you joking? You want to move here and have the entire culture of the South change to make you feel more comfortable? Weren't you aware that this is the Bible belt before you moved?

I'm truly sorry that you have had such bad experiences here. I hope you realize that there are many, many, warm, loving Christians who are not judgmental. We are human, and do make mistakes. Being a Christian does not mean you will do everything the right way. We are all flawed-Christians and those of other religions. I can't imagine where you live that you've encountered so many rude people.

I do ask of you one thing. Please try to stop bashing Christians in general. It's very insulting to those of us who love Jesus and do try to live our lives according to God's Word.

I have not bashed Christianity...I have spoken about the problems I've encountered with it since moving here….things I never encountered living in the North. Every single one of my friends is Christian, but certainly not of the sort that can’t be polite about it. Sorry if that offends you, but the truth sometimes does hurt. I am not alone in my feelings about this, nor am I the only one that these things are happening to.

And I live in Wake Forest, the home of a very conservative Baptist Seminary. Heck, they don’t even let their students attend the historic Baptist church on their own property (they allow women to have a place in the church I am told in the reason) and feel the town is a ‘mission environment’ so lots of door to door preaching and are very intolerant of Catholics and anyone that isn’t SBC.

Very few send their children to the public schools it seems, but when my daughter was in 4th grade she had a girl that was there because her parents felt it was her ‘mission’ to bring Jesus to the students. Too bad this girl was a lying tattletale, but it took almost a half a year for the teachers to figure it out, because this girl ‘comes from a good Christian family’. (Thankfully my daughter was not her main target.)

And please point out where I have said I want to change anything about North Carolina? There is nothing in Southern culture that says you have to be intolerant towards those that have different religious viewpoints.