What if not Christian? (Raleigh, Asheville: home, rent, work)

[JoanieL]

Originally Posted by Ms.Charlotte

Hi Joanie. I know your intentions were good here. You were trying to make some valid points about researching the area. But can you see how you've also made living close to Christians sound so negative?

Having Christians as neighbors does not mean they will be preaching to you. I'm not sure if you realize that. I have a "fish symbol" on my car but have never been "preachy" and I'm quite "churchy" (where are these words coming from??).

I'm just as loving and warm to Jews, atheist, and any one else as long as THEY don't behave as though living next to devout Christians is the equivalent of living next to lepers.

I don't know what it is-maybe I live in a part of NC that's different? Anyone on here from Union County that could give me some insight?

Oh, and for the record, I've NEVER in my life seen anyone with a Cross prominently displayed on their front lawn--even in NJ, where you can find the statue of the Virgin Mary on someone's lawn every few blocks or so.

Ms Charlotte .....I hope you haven't taken my post the wrong way? As I mentioned, there's room for all sorts of folks here in the mountains of Western North Carolina. I'm sorry, but so far, in this state, these mountains are all I've come to know. Yes, I have indeed seen crosses ....sometimes in 3, on people's lawns! Yes, they do have an absolute right to have crosses anywhere they darn well please and if they decide to cover their lawns with them then all I can say is God please bless them. They are obviously quite serious in their faith and want to let others know as well.

I also see nothing wrong with living near or next to Christian people. What I object to is when one's Christianity crosses the fence or shows up in the form of a sermon on my front lawn or doorstep. I didn't put up with that when I lived in the Northeast, and I sure won't living here in the mountains. Those of us who live in this area and don't go to church are definetely the minority, and of that I have NO doubt.

In my post I was addressing those who don't want to be part of any church and some feeling that certain areas of the South would be wrong for them in their lack of outward religious faith. Some are saying that moving to the Asheville area, or Weaverville, or Black Mountain area might be the best way to insure living in more "liberal" areas - - what I'm saying is that even within those areas it's more than likely that one will encounter all sorts of evangelicals and/or neighbors who feel that they must go forth and convert the heathen hordes of non-believers. Parts of Asheville, Weaverville, Black Mountain, etc are indeed conservative and do indeed have some residents who are uncomfortable, disturbed or upset about the prospect of living near to or next to someone who might be ...say :::: atheist, or African-American, or gay,or living as an inter-racial couple, etc. I think that any person/couple who feels themselves to be within the minority should carefully look at any area in which they might plan to move in order to reach an informed decision as to whether this or that is the right place for them.

Just to make sure you don't think that I'm a bigot, I want you to know that right next door to us lives a wonderful lady, her husband just passed on this past year, and she is a truly devout Christian as far as I can see. This lady leaves her home every Sunday morning, beautifully dressed, Bible in hand, and goes off to Baptist service and returns home shortly after noon. Not once in all the times we've lived next door has she ever talked to us about faith or the Bible. We have good, neighborly conversations about the weather, gardening, the ongoing construction/develpment in the area, etc. The first time we met her she asked after our church association and when we mentioned that we didn't regularly go to church, she offered that she'd be happy to introduce us to her pastor if we were interested. Since that time she has not mentioned one word of that conversation and we are still on the best of terms.

[Prichard]

I received a negative rep for this post. While I don't care about the red dot, the person wrote that I sound like a bigot

While I don't agree with people being able to leave "red dots" or "negative remarks" for someone's post, can someone please explain what this is all about? When I click on someone's name, I don't see any such markings or feedback. Am I missing something here? I guess I'd like to see what red marks I have, I guess.

If there is a system of "red-marking" someone, I'd suggest that no one use it. A person's post stands on its own. People can read it, agree with it, comment on it, or dissagree with it without the name-calling, which is really what a leaving a little red mark is all about. If the post is really obnoxious or obscene, then the moderators should just delete it and ban people who just come here to cause trouble.

FWIW, I've read Ms.Charlotte's posts, and although she has some strong opinions on things, she is neither obnoxious, obscene, a trouble maker, or a biggot. Issues of religion and race are sometimes difficult ones to discuss civilly, but they tend to be issues that people are very concerned about when moving to one area or another. Forums like this one are the last avenue of free speech and exchang of information about sensitive topics such as these, as realtors are prohibited by federal law from discussing them. I applaud everyone who has the courage to engage in these discussions with civility.

[NYer]

Originally Posted by JoanieL

...that right next door to us lives a wonderful lady, her husband just passed on this past year, and she is a truly devout Christian as far as I can see... The first time we met her she asked after our church association and when we mentioned that we didn't regularly go to church, she offered that she'd be happy to introduce us to her pastor if we were interested. Since that time she has not mentioned one word of that conversation and we are still on the best of terms.

That's right- your neighbor seems to be the real deal. She did her part. She offered to share with you something very precious to her. If it is meant to be, you know exactly where to turn if you want to know more about her faith.
That, to me, is the Christian way to approach people.

[mm_mary73]

Originally Posted by NYer

That's right- your neighbor seems to be the real deal. She did her part. She offered to share with you something very precious to her. If it is meant to be, you know exactly where to turn if you want to know more about her faith.
That, to me, is the Christian way to approach people.

You are exactly right. When my former and I moved here long ago, we rec'd the same invitation AND a casserole.... and we thought we were an anomaly - a Jew and a Catholic! - and truly outcast. Since "former" spoke the eulogy at the funeral of a good man we both knew for 25+ years, a "called" Baptist preacher, I guess we were accepted.
The three crosses - you see them everywhere along side the expressways, in open fields, etc. - has something to do with the Trinity, I think. That doesn't upset as much as a single large burning cross on the lawn would.

[mm_mary73]

Originally Posted by Nea1

I would have just appreciated it if that wasnt the way every conversation started. How about, Where are you from? What do you do? Do you like it here so far? How are you adjusting? How are the kids? But no I got what church do you go to? I would say none, then most would say, Oh, well have a nice day. Not all were like this, but plenty were the friends we managed to make we all from another part of the country. My husband got into a verbal argument with a neighbor that thought we needed to be saved, he brought a bible over to recite to us. I am always polite, but at that point I had had enough. I would never bash Christianity, just the people that go to far.

Ohmigod, the memories of our first days / weeks here!!!!! It was like 20 questions, including the "where do you go to church?" And us, coming from the northeast, where some of these things are private, it was exhausting to smile so much because it was so apparent that this was how society was in our new home and it wasn't meant to be impolite, but welcoming. Can't say we had anyone try to convert us, but I am sure many thought we needed to be saved. Of course, there are the Jehovah's Witnesses that are everywhere........

[ncsu99]

Originally Posted by mm_mary73

The three crosses - you see them everywhere along side the expressways, in open fields, etc. - has something to do with the Trinity, I think.

The 3 crosses are a representation of the crucifixion of Jesus along with the 2 thieves on either side of him at Calvary. I guess in a way it would make sense for it to represent the Trinity also. Never thought of it that way!

[Teressah]

Originally Posted by mm_mary73

Ohmigod, the memories of our first days / weeks here!!!!! It was like 20 questions, including the "where do you go to church?" And us, coming from the northeast, where some of these things are private, it was exhausting to smile so much because it was so apparent that this was how society was in our new home and it wasn't meant to be impolite, but welcoming. Can't say we had anyone try to convert us, but I am sure many thought we needed to be saved. Of course, there are the Jehovah's Witnesses that are everywhere........

Well, Thank God, when we move, if anyone actually asks us about church I will be glad to let them we are joining the Unitarian church in Hickory. Noone is taking away my Buddha meditations!

[Desdemona123]

Originally Posted by Teressah

Well, Thank God, when we move, if anyone actually asks us about church I will be glad to let them we are joining the Unitarian church in Hickory. Noone is taking away my Buddha meditations!

Just be careful...UUs aren't well thought of (if the folks even know what they are) and Hickory is....well....it's even further out in the sticks then Raleigh.


You don’t want to have to learn the heard way...discretion really is the better part of valor religiously.

[NYer]

I would say, "Thanks, we are church shopping" or "Thanks, we are happy with our faith community" & hope that is enough. That is what I said to Jehovah's Witnesses back in NY when they would come around.

[Teressah]

Originally Posted by Nea1

Seems as though we had alot of the same experiences. My kids were miserable, my husband was looked over for work and told to many times, if we joined a church we would get more work. I got tired of having to explain I didnt like church ,only to get the look. We moved, I got tired of it and my kids come first. Some people are just not meant to live in the south.

Nea1, which city were you in to have such a sick unjustise done to you?? Isn't this completely illegal? I don't want the same problem