I have some limited experience in this matter, my special needs daughter is 12. We moved from CT where many programs (School anyhow) were TOWN run, here in NC things are dependant on the county you live in. We have lived in 2 counties here in NC, my daughter received excellent school services in one, very little in the other (so far, I'm working on it).
Maybe you could think about some different areas you might be interested in and then check them out specifically?
Once your child ages out of school (or even while in) this link might be of some help:
Community Alternatives Program - North Carolina Division of Medical Assistance My understanding is that the CAP/mrdd waiver has a LONG waiting list, again, it goes by county, some may have longer lists than others.
Good luck.