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My Mom and siblings have been in CA and FL for years. My dilemma is in leaving my own kids--for years we've wanted to move to NC, but due to various reasons, couldn't. Now DH is taking early retirement next year, kids are in their 20's****One son,DIL and GDTR will come with us, the other 3 plus GDTR will stay, at least for now. We've vacationed there since 1989,(with children) and looked around too,so this is not a "new" idea. But I am having "pre-guilt" I guess.
Anyone have this situation?
Spouse and I are of just too different a mindset from our folks. It probably has to do with us being childfree, but we saw no reason to root ourselves in one spot. And the Midwest is no place for people with restless spirits. Here in this part of the country, we've never been bored.
Our families are the opposite, happy to be rooted in one spot, and think the distance is too great to travel to see us ("well, you guys are the ones who moved away.") We finally laid down the law: the road runs both ways, and told them that they'll have to make the trip down here. After all, how many times can you visit the St. Louis Arch or one of the riverboats on the Mississippi? It's just beyond our ken that we live in such an interesting part of the country, they live in Stick-in-the-mudsville, and they aren't interested in taking advantage of our hospitality to get a chance to see something different
I saw a quote the other day that I posted up on my wall--
"Life is nothing if not a daring adventure."
Angel- I'm soooo tempted to make a comment on your situation (the soon to be inlaws) as it is so similar to a friend of mine and his situation (although his wife had the "family"). You can PM and I'll share my 2 cents worth of advise
In any case, best of luck with your new married life- it's all very exciting!
Wow. You might want to check out the In-laws-from-h*ll support board. http://216.227.214.7/dc/dcboard.php (broken link)
Our families didn't kick up a fuss, they were all busy getting married, having babies and becoming involved in school activities and extracurricular things for the kids. Dh and I were going ape-p00 out of boredom, so when our company told us "we're relocating to Charlotte! anyone who doesn't transfer is out of a job!', we said "no problem. when do we leave?"
We've slowed down a bit, but those first years .. whoa. We did roadtrips up and down the Blue Ridge Parkway, went to the beach, visited the Smokies, spent a week in the Colonial Williamsburg area, did the whole Civil War battlefield tour thang ... We've been as far south as Orlando, and north to Washington, DC. Dh was a bit of a traveller before we married, but I'd never been more than 300 miles from home.
We finally got Dh's family down here, about 6 years after we moved. They were mildly impressed; on a boat tour thru Charleston harbor, the kids thought it neat to see dolphins swimming next to the vessel ; but there was a lot of carping: "oh no, we're going to have drive thru the mountains to get home. Isn't there an easier way?"
A few years later, we got my MIL to fly down here for a visit by herself. She's a dear lady but, to her, our visits back there have always been greeted with "I'm sure glad to see you kids come home." We took her to Washington, DC. She enjoyed that but couldn't help from interjecting the comment "well, we have a lot of historic stuff back home." Took her to Monticello to see Jefferson's home: "Harry Truman was from the Midwest, you know. He was a fine president." Drove her along the Blue Ridge Parkway, Dh and I exclaiming "see those mountains, Ma? Isn't that gorgeous? You ought to see them in the fall!"
MIL: *sniff* "well, there are mountains in Illinois, too." I, being the dutiful DIL and sitting in the back seat, let out an incredulous snort of laughter and a "whaat?"
I don't think we'll see that side of the family down here again. And I laid down the law to mine: "all you have to do is drive as far as Knoxville. I'll take over from there. I wouldn't subject you to the drive over the mountains to the Piedmont." I'm not holding my breath
...and I have to take it back about not being far from home. Now I recollect spending a couple of summers when I was a kid out in Seattle with an aunt, acting as babysitter for her kids. That's probably why I put it from my mind And I spent a winter in Riverside, CA, prescribed by the doctor for my horrific childhood asthma. I was 3 and have a picture taken of me falling into the Pacific
Last edited by silverwing; 06-15-2006 at 09:27 PM..
My extended family has a similar attitude, but my parents were the ones to get most of the crap from family starting about 20+ years ago. They were the first in both families to leave small farm town Minnesota for the Minneapolis metro area, and I am glad they did so. We tried to keep contact and stay on good terms with them for about 15 years, but they could never get over it. They always had bad attitudes about my parents having well paying jobs around the city, a nice home, and nice toys, while the rest of them sat in Bunghole, MN doing nothing with their lives. We would try to do nice things like take them on free vacations to our condo in Florida, and they would still have bad attitudes like we were just trying to "show off that we were rich". They all called us rich, while we were really just an average suburban middle class family. I worked my way through college and am now better off at 27 years old than every one of my aunts and uncles, which is why I am glad my parents left the rural life behind long ago. About 5 years ago we finally got tired of the extended family drama and decided to just cut off all contact outside my parents and siblings. Life went on just fine without them. The few family members that I am still in contact with and care about will all be moving to Charlotte eventually.
We are pretty lucky as it will be hard to leave family and friends here in So Cal, at least we have family in Charlotte. As my sis in law told her husband the first time I went back, I am one sister in law she could get in some trouble with, who me, trouble?
In-laws, ahh, one time hubby will speak to them and they are so excited for us and everything is great. The next time, we'll never see you again, your going to hate it there, it's humid etc, etc. Now my hubby's sister lives in Northern CA and they bought a place last summer in Asheville and for the next few years it will be a vacation home. Interesting the inlaws never say anything bad about her and her family moving away, infact they even spoke about visiting them?
My parents both live out of state, and they are very excited and happy for us. My dad was a truck driver and now a full time Harley rider, he is very excited to see that part of the country, coincidently his girlfriends sister lives in NC.
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It's just beyond our ken that we live in such an interesting part of the country, they live in Stick-in-the-mudsville, and they aren't interested in taking advantage of our hospitality to get a chance to see something different 
*GAWK*
And I spent a winter in Riverside, CA, prescribed by the doctor for my horrific childhood asthma. I was 3 and have a picture taken of me falling into the Pacific 
