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I’ve been reading this newsgroup for awhile, and I see many people trying to talk themselves into whether or not they want to move. I’ve moved to many states, and I’ve also felt that desire to give yourself pep talks about how your new home will be a utopia. I hope you don’t mind, but I would like to tell you some of the things I’ve learned (sometimes the hard way).
First the good news: For the most part, I’ve enjoyed each state I’ve lived in. Moving has mostly been a positive experience. I also think NC is a good choice for many people.
But… NC is not utopia, it is not paradise, it is not heaven. It’s a very nice place with some good things and some bad things, and you're going to find a lot of the same problems you left behind (because they exist everywhere).
If you are moving here to escape something, you need to know that making a geographic change is not enough. You will find the same problems in your new home unless you also make changes in yourself. Changing schools will not keep your child from encountering drugs. Moving to NC will not help you escape crazy drivers, or aggressive coworkers, or sleazy guys in nightclubs. Every city has problems, including homeless people, crime, and gangs… some places have more of these problems than others, but ask yourself if there is something you are doing that makes you a magnet for the problem you are running away from.
Sometimes people move to make a fresh start. I’ve done that—it was great, but be aware that moving will not bring back your lost youth, help you find a girlfriend, help you exercise/pray/study more, or make you appear more successful/sophisticated. I repeat: moving will not bring about these types of changes, and… you don’t need to move to make these changes.
In my case, I told myself that I wanted to come home to my family. I thought moving back home would repair a dysfunctional family situation. We always blamed it on the fact that I had moved away… until I moved back. The family is still just as dysfunctional, we just found a new thing to blame it on.
Good reasons to move: The cost of real estate. Higher salaries. Company transfer or other job opportunity. You’ve visited your new home and feel happy there. Major life change such as divorce, retirement changes your needs. Health care facilities. Weather (although every place has weather problems of one sort or another).
Bad reasons to move: Cost of living (other than housing, it’s just about the same no matter where you live). Boredom. You’re sick of traffic (traffic is bad just about everywhere, for a variety of reasons). To impress other people.
Another reason is adventure...sometimes if you've lived in the same state for a lifetime it loses it's adventure. So try something new!! New places to see, new people to meet and new places to visit. Life should be an adventure.
Well.... when I was in my early 20's that was true. And back then. moving was easy. I could throw everything I owned into a U-Haul. I could easily make new friends and get a new job.
After about age 25, moving becomes increasingly difficult and expensive. Life should be an adventure, that's true... but I would recommend trying a new activity like learning to fly a plane or joining a new club. I would not recommend moving across the country. Just my opinion.
Yes, it's true, life should be and most of the time is, an adventure -- depending on how you approach the adventure. Leaving friends, family, loved ones, all the bonds you've made at "home" is not an adventure. Uprooting family and children can be the most reckless decision you've ever made.
If you feel the need for true adventure, take a fabulous vacation once or twice a year. It's a lot less expensive, a lot more educational, mind broadening, and you meet the nicest people some of whom you will bond with forever. Buy a nice RV and travel the country. Not necessarily following the herd to the next hot spot.
Remember what they used to call those who needed adventure all the time?
I do also think that change is good if you plan accordingly. If not then you risk things getting worse with the move. I have also moved and lived in several areas and I know that if you do not do your homework before you move you could end up in a worse situation than when you started.
hamilton, I both agree and disagree with your points about moving. I agree with the idea that the new location is not Utopia. I left high taxes and horrible commutes and moved to less cultural options and lower pay. I left corrupt government and bad schools and moved to good ol' boy government and better schools. I left snow in winter and moved to debilitating heat in summer. But I knew going into it that I'd miss the things I loved about NoNJ and would thrill at the things I learned about in Fort Mill, SC.
My family DID move to get a fresh start - not just financially, but emotionally, mentally, physically. Our whole lives were taking a toll by living in NoNJ and we were in a downward spiral. Since our move here, things HAVE improved - and not just financially.
So NC/SC may not literally be utopia - but for our family thus far - it's pretty close.
Wow! I think you misunderstood me. I have done my homework about this move, I have family living in Troutman NC and yes I will be leaving family and friends here. I am scared. But I'm not dieing, I'm moving!! I'm a "people person" and make friends fairly easily. I will have frequent visits from my children and that will be quality time not quantity time. It's not for everyone for sure. But I long for greenery, less congestion from traffic, less smog, and most importantly less stress with the money situation. Yes, it is an advernture for me. One I am looking forward to.
About 8 years ago my friend was moving & she was lookign forward to a "slower pace" less time volunteering for organizations she was tired of, living in a more "pulled together house", etc. When I thought about it I asked her, why not stay here & just change your life? Well, she moved anyway but it inspired me to change my life. I cut down on the volunteer work that was draining me & kep tthe volunteer work that was fruitful. I had a garage sale & donated tons of stuff so my small house would be more pulled-together. I longed for a front porch so I could comfortably watch the kids play out front. So, since I could not do that I put a bench and small table out there, to the side of the front yard. Soon many of my neighbors followed suit.
I was amazed at how much of my day to day agitation/ lack of satisfaction with my home had been self imposed & not a product of my neighborhood!
good thoughts, but your wrong to think housing costs are the same everywhere. That's just flat out wrong. A lot of people move away to get more home for their money. I live in Los Angeles, and I can tell you it's a lot cheaper to rent and buy a home in North Carolina.
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