Non religious bias? (Raleigh: home, public school, kindergarten)

[arbyunc]

Wow. I'm relatively new to these forums, and sometimes have to check to be sure this really is the North Carolina forum. I've lived in NC for all my 50 years. I grew up in a small town, and in my adult life I've lived in 4 major NC cities (Chapel Hill, Raleigh, Charlotte, and Winston-Salem). I have seen absolutely none of this religious "strong-arming" that some claim. In my experience, NC people are very willing to share their religion, but they also are very respectful of others who don't share their views. I am not a religious person, and I get along just fine with friends, neighbors, and co-workers. I think some of this comes from the many different religions and denominations that exist here. Most towns have a number of different churches, so we all live among others who don't go to the same church. I don't remember any church vs. church warfare going on--most just go their own way and don't talk about it much.

If you base a decision to move here on the nonsense I've read in some of these threads, you're missing a great opportunity to live in a wonderful state.

[Raivere]

Originally Posted by tkhk3746

IRONICALLY, I've experienced the opposite of the comments made by "Asheville Native" and "LoveBrentwood". I am a northerner who moved to NC. EVERYONE knew who the "churchgoers" were in my northern community....but absolutely no one bothers us here b/c we don't attend any church. A few have invited us..but nothing as dramatic as Asheville Native experienced.

I think people worry about the wrong things when they move. Yes, the culture in the south is very different than up north...but it just depends what your motives for wanting to relocate are.....

Agreed. People should look for the positives of moving to a place that cares about other people. Keep your reasons for moving here in mind, and be open-minded.^_^

[NC_Paddler]

Originally Posted by arbyunc

If you base a decision to move here on the nonsense I've read in some of these threads, you're missing a great opportunity to live in a wonderful state.

Agreed, but if you read the original post, he is considering moving to Hickory, which is not exactly a "major city" in NC. And the smaller the town, the more "religious" they tend to be, generally speaking. So it's a legitimate question that the OP has.

Chapel Hill and Hickory . . . . worlds apart!

[arbyunc]

Originally Posted by NC_Paddler

Agreed, but if you read the original post, he is considering moving to Hickory, which is not exactly a "major city" in NC. And the smaller the town, the more "religious" they tend to be, generally speaking. So it's a legitimate question that the OP has.

Chapel Hill and Hickory . . . . worlds apart!

But as I said, I grew up in a small town, much smaller than Hickory. We had Baptists, Methodists, a bunch of different "holiness" churches, black churches, Episcopalians, Catholics, etc., as well as many people who didn't go to church at all. And I've spent lots of time and know lots of people from many other small towns, so I think I can speak to the small towns as well. I'm not saying this "problem" described by the OP doesn't exist at all--there may well be some people who would shun you because of different religious beliefs. But I can say that I've never seen or heard of it in my experience, and I don't think there are entire towns that would act that way. I just don't believe it's a big enough issue to affect a relocation decision.

[NC_Paddler]

Originally Posted by arbyunc

But as I said, I grew up in a small town, much smaller than Hickory. We had Baptists, Methodists, a bunch of different "holiness" churches, black churches, Episcopalians, Catholics, etc., as well as many people who didn't go to church at all. And I've spent lots of time and know lots of people from many other small towns, so I think I can speak to the small towns as well. I'm not saying this "problem" described by the OP doesn't exist at all--there may well be some people who would shun you because of different religious beliefs. But I can say that I've never seen or heard of it in my experience, and I don't think there are entire towns that would act that way. I just don't believe it's a big enough issue to affect a relocation decision.

I hear you -- I would never suggest that someone not relocate to the area because of that, but by the same token, the cultures are very, very different, and it is something to consider. Personally, I can't imagine living in Hickory, or any other small town in NC for that matter. That's not a knock on those places, it's just a recognition of my different values and preferences. I grew up in a very small town, and there is a reason I don't live there anymore.

I think there is definitely some overlap in small town cultures in the North and South, but there are also some differences, and the "religious" aspect is one of them, imo.

In the South, there is a church on every street corner. In the North, there are bars on every street corner.

[anifani821]

I guess no one saw what I wrote about money being the big equalizer in Hickory, not religion.

I have many friends in Hickory who do not attend church and guess what? NO ONE CARES. However, as far as social life, where you live and how much $$ you have will greatly affect those situations.

Plus, the poster did not give a clue about WHERE he/she is planning to live in Hickory. St. Stephens are? Lake Hickory (off 321?) NW Hickory? Neighborhoods are very different depending on what area of Hickory (or surrounding area) you live in. But again - I have friends all around and in Hickory who do not attend church and seeing as how they have lived there for their entire lives - I would say a 40 or 50 or 60 year history would mean something as far as how "harassed" someone will be if he/she does not attend a church.

It is a LOT easier to get integrated into any of the communities in Catawba County if you DO belong to a church, simply b/c you will meet so many people who are friendly and willing to help you get situated (find a family doc, a daycare center, a caterer, a vet, etc). It is just easier when you have an instant group of people who share info and open their doors. BUT - not belonging to a church doesn't mean you will be excluded or in some way - ostracized. A lot of activities for kids center around churches . . . so it is easier for kids if they belong to a church group and get to know other people their ages. IT IS EASIER but it is not like someone is going to paint graffiti on your driveway if you don't belong to a church.

[bri&kim]

Wow I certainly did not intend to cause a commotion.
We own land in Granite Falls in a development called Anchors Landing.
While there on our visits it was evident just by casual conversation that people were more apt to be religious than not and quite often they brought up the subject of their church.
I am a plumber and as such tend to converse with my customers and even here in Maine I have been asked about my religion and been vilified by some for being a {non believer}
I certainly am not deciding to move or not based on any of this but wanted some in site on what to expect.
Thank you all for your opinions.

[chickenista]

I don't get bothered because I don't attend church. My son gets it a bit in school and we have had a few problems with religious teaching in school etc..
But I have found it hard to become part of the community without it.
And I do agree that money has a lot to do with it..
We are not in a 'community' or development, we just have a house and farm and no close neighbors that would be considered peers.
I think if you were in a development you would have a much easier time and no grief.

[LLN]

I have posted this before and I will post it again. I have never been or seen any reaction to people either going to or not going to church. I am a native by the way. I honestly believe that the people that get negative reactions are those that WANT TO GET NOTICED and GET A REACTION.

I also think the "Bible Belt" is way overplayed these days. Maybe 30 or 40 years ago, but now, when both parents work, frequently 10 hours a day, there is just not enuf time to get stuff done on Saturday, so Sunday has become another get done day.

I do not go to church anywhere near as much as I used to, and no one has said a word. I am just doing stuff that can't wait till next Saturday.

You will be un-noticed, unless you do not want to be.

lln

[chickenista]

I disagree.
I work very hard at being in the closet. I do not want to see teh look I get if I am discovered. I don't want to hear that, 'Oh, I see'. 'Well'.
Waiting to pick up my child from school I was lambasted by a man who was raving about how many folks got saved at their church's Haloween Hell House and how proud he was of his granddaughter who played something or other. I politely smiled and oozed away.. he followed while raising his voice. He continued to follow and rant.
the older cart man at the grocery, the teachers at school, folks trying to get my kid to go to vacation bible school.. they don't know I do not attend church.. but they are aggressive none the less.
I have recently moved from the mountains that were my home to the foothills.. I find the foothills to be way over the top.