NC culture -What exactly is it? (Charlotte: broker, showing, work)

[SunnyKayak]

According to being raised up on with proper etiquette in cotillion and guidance from Emily Post. You are to address your elder Mr & Mrs and If you know the person not to be married or do not know their marital status you address the lady as Miss.

I never heard of calling someone Mr Bob I always known it to be mr and the last name. And if they didnt want to be called by the name you addressed them as they would politely inform them they can just call you bob.

I never thought it was a regional thing but more of how someone is raised with proper etiquette. Same thing with the way you set up a table for dinner it not a regional thing it is a etiquette process
ex Salad fork dinner fork on left spoon then dinner knife with the teeth facing the plate on the right. This process is not a regional etiquette and the same with the way you address someone upon introduction.

[Desdemona123]

Originally Posted by SunnyKayak

According to being raised up on with proper etiquette in cotillion and guidance from Emily Post. You are to address your elder Mr & Mrs and If you know the person not to be married or do not know their marital status you address the lady as Miss.

I never heard of calling someone Mr Bob I always known it to be mr and the last name. And if they didnt want to be called by the name you addressed them as they would politely inform them they can just call you bob.

I never thought it was a regional thing but more of how someone is raised with proper etiquette. Same thing with the way you set up a table for dinner it not a regional thing it is a etiquette process
ex Salad fork dinner fork on left spoon then dinner knife with the teeth facing the plate on the right. This process is not a regional etiquette and the same with the way you address someone upon introduction.

There is formal etiquette, used in business and on formal occassions, and there is talking to the neighbor over the fence manners.

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by Desdemona123

It's also quite rude to call anyone something they are uncomfortable with. So much for those famed manners.

You have just illustrated my original point PERFECTLY. My children were being taught the southern customs and manners, just as I was taught. For some adult to then come along and undermine that just because they weren't southern and therefore not accustomed to it put us all in a tough spot. If the child did as he was taught some non-southerners took exception to it. If he tried to comply and do something against what he knew were my rules he was being disrespectful to me, and knew it. The original poster asked what do we southerners fear we will have to give up or lose by all the non southerners here. This is one small example of how folks like you not understanding local customs then try to change them, and that is what we struggle with.

[Desdemona123]

Originally Posted by lovesMountains

You have just illustrated my original point PERFECTLY. My children were being taught the southern customs and manners, just as I was taught. For some adult to then come along and undermine that just because they weren't southern and therefore not accustomed to it put us all in a tough spot. If the child did as he was taught some non-southerners took exception to it. If he tried to comply and do something against what he knew were my rules he was being disrespectful to me, and knew it. The original poster asked what do we southerners fear we will have to give up or lose by all the non southerners here. This is one small example of how folks like you not understanding local customs then try to change them, and that is what we struggle with.

Don't let your kids speak to anyone not born south of the mason dixon line.

Do you really think they would never in their entire life see more of the world?

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by Desdemona123

Don't let your kids speak to anyone not born south of the mason dixon line.

Do you really think they would never in their entire life see more of the world?

Are you purposely trying to be argumentative, or do you really fail to see my point?

Is anyone else having trouble understanding what I am saying?

[SunnyKayak]

Originally Posted by Desdemona123

There is formal etiquette, used in business and on formal occassions, and there is talking to the neighbor over the fence manners.

Bless your little heart t

he problem you are definitely having "issues" in the posts above is about kids and unless the childrent are apart of some child sweat shop it very apparent that my previous post was referencing how childrent should address their elders in any time of situation regardless what it is unless the other party gives them the ok to address them by their first name or they are wearing a name and only the first name is given on the tag.
It doesnt matter if the occasion is a formal even or casual even according to Emily post regardless if it the neighbor, or a teacher. Proper engagment entitles to use the proper title, I

dont know if your just jealous of north carolina strong culture but taking offense to how you being address is just insane just politely say You can call me **** and they will oblige and everyone will be happy

[xray42]

Originally Posted by Desdemona123

Don't let your kids speak to anyone not born south of the mason dixon line.

Do you really think they would never in their entire life see more of the world?

I dont know what you are reading, through reading through these posts, Loves Mountains did SAY what you are insinuating. I feel you have missed the point entirely.

[kmway]

Originally Posted by Desdemona123

Don't let your kids speak to anyone not born south of the mason dixon line.

Do you really think they would never in their entire life see more of the world?

Oh how AWFUL that lovesmountians would want her kids to have MANNERS . Come on people. Basically, in polite society, those of us who have manners address people formally until we are invited to do otherwise. Our children are expected to show respect to elders by also addressing them in an appropriate manner. When I have a child, my 5-year-old will NEVER run up to some adult and say "Hi, Bob." They are NOT on the same level and the child should not address the adult as such. Yes this may seem like a LITTLE thing but it is NOT. The erosion of children having respect for others in GENERAL is due to parents not teaching their children to show respect from an early age. This begins with the "simple" things, like how a child addresses an adult. This is not rocket science, people.

I personally feel that this society has done itself a GREAT disservice to argue about rather than to appreciate etiquette.

Oh, and by the way, in other countries this is not unusual at all. And as a result, adolescents in other countries are in general better behaved because in their childhood they are taught respect, from how they address an adult to how they interact in other ways.

And anyone who is uncomfortable with being called "Ms., Miss, or Mr." before their name is simply medieval in their thinking, or was certainly raised improperly. And NO I AM NOT SOUTHERN.

[Buckhead_Broker]

Way to go kmway! See folks, common sense and decency are not relegated to the South (and I'm a Southerner). I agree with her 100%

[Desdemona123]

Originally Posted by kmway

Oh how AWFUL that lovesmountians would want her kids to have MANNERS . Come on people. Basically, in polite society, those of us who have manners address people formally until we are invited to do otherwise. Our children are expected to show respect to elders by also addressing them in an appropriate manner. When I have a child, my 5-year-old will NEVER run up to some adult and say "Hi, Bob." They are NOT on the same level and the child should not address the adult as such. Yes this may seem like a LITTLE thing but it is NOT. The erosion of children having respect for others in GENERAL is due to parents not teaching their children to show respect from an early age. This begins with the "simple" things, like how a child addresses an adult. This is not rocket science, people.

I personally feel that this society has done itself a GREAT disservice to argue about rather than to appreciate etiquette.

Oh, and by the way, in other countries this is not unusual at all. And as a result, adolescents in other countries are in general better behaved because in their childhood they are taught respect, from how they address an adult to how they interact in other ways.

And anyone who is uncomfortable with being called "Ms., Miss, or Mr." before their name is simply medieval in their thinking, or was certainly raised improperly. And NO I AM NOT SOUTHERN.

There is so much more to 'having manners' then parroting 'yes, sir' s all over the place.

Honestly, is you think that is what manners mean, then I would suggest that you have a superficial view of what manners and etiquette really are.

You could have a child, or adult for that matter, ending every request and sentence with 'Yes, ma'am' and be a sullen, little rude snot. I'd rather have actual manners any day of the week.

I do think manner are very important...formal manners, causal manners among friends, the full gauntlet of them. When I noticed that my daughter didn't have many opportunities to practice 'formal manners' (that's just modern life these days) I put her in cotillion and etiquette lessons to make sure they don't get rusty as she enters the teen years.

If anyone honestly thinks that forcing kids to call people 'Sir' (even against the adults wishes) makes their kid polite, then they are in for a rude awakening one day.

I'd just rather that there are actual manners present, and not a facade of civility over some ugliness.