why are we not getting this? (New Bern: crime, place, work)

[Boatdrinks]

Originally Posted by autumngal

Hi. What is it that compels you to feel you "have to get it", and might be missing something about NC? What is your primary reason for moving specifically to NC?
This may very well not be "home" for you and your family. And personally it seems to me you covered quite the distance. Getting off roads and finding a house is all fine and good, but what about the looking at it as a whole? You won't be staying in the house and never coming out into other parts. Take your time, and if it comes to this, do not be afraid to say "this just isn't for us". As where you live revolves around your whole life.

This is my question too. Why MUST you leave your current state and move to NC? If you MUST to it, then it seems as though you just need to look harder for a place you like. But if it's not a MUST thing - if you can move anywhere, or even stay where you are, then why are you trying to force yourself to like NC? Just b/c a few random folks on an internet bulletin board like NC doesn't mean you should too. And just b/c a few random folks on an internet bulletin board think NC is pretty, friendly, and a great place to live with lots to do doesn't mean that you should too.

Is it possible that you just got carried away with reading the positive talk on this board and had NC built up in your head as some kind of utopia? If that's the case, and no matter what state you do that with, you will ALWAYS be disappointed. No place is perfect. You just have to find the place that's as perfect as possible for your family. It's quite possible that place is NOT NC, and that's totally fine. Check out some new states. Or, if you're serious about NC, go for another 2 or 3 visits and do more exploring.

No matter where you're talking about, you will NEVER, EVER get a complete picture of the area by just driving around for a few days. I could drive around Malibu, CA and think "Wow, this is gorgeous! I MUST move here!" but if I took the time to research housing costs, cost of living, school system, CA state political issues, etc. and hung out and talked with people for a couple weeks, I'd find that there's no way in the world I'd want to actually live there. There's a lot more to an area then just surface looks and you owe it to yourself and your family to look at the big picture before you move anywhere.

Good luck to you.

[clodhopper]

It sounds like you did a great deal in trying to find somewhere that "feels" right, and I can totally understand needing a "seat of the pants" impression.
I felt the same way moving down from Va. years ago.

You need a job first, find that and then make the best of your area, there is good and bad anywhere you go. You will have to make up your mind to look at the positives. NC is very different than most of PA, most people like the differences. I work with a great guy from Youngstown Ohio who loves it in Greenville. Please remember this is basically quite a poor state, just 30 years ago the entire economy was primarily driven by textile manufacturing and tobacco cultivation. It is changing rapidly and this sort of upheaval can be unsettling to most everyone. Teenagers make it even tougher (got one got the t-shirt). I admire your grit for making the trek, I believe most anyone could be happy here but it is true, NC is not for everyone. Think about what you like for surroundings, mountains, foothills, etc, look around/outside the larger cities, make sure what you like for recreation is available, and try another trip just to make doubly sure you don't like it. I think you guys did pretty well trying it like you did, hope you find your place.

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by Funnefam5

Ok now that i have had a day of rest after the long haul let me start by saying thank you for all your imput, like someone said everyone on here seems to be so nice and very helpful, as i wrote yesterday in all our travels we saw alot of (bad) area's they were all run down empty buildings, towns with nothing in them Rocky (Mount being the worst) and to get to a store it seemed like forever to find or a place to eat, this is why i wanted to know did we miss something and just drove right on past everything that matters? and yes part of me don't want to move because all my family is here and i have a teenager that is fighting us on this too, but we are kinda in a way that we don't have much of a choice and i really don't mind if we move as long as my grandkids are near me, and as of right now everyone is onboard except my son but he really don't have much of a choice he will have to go with us till he's 18 i hate to be that way with him but like i said we really don't have much of a choice if we don't get out from this soon we will lose everything so we need to find something a little less on the exspensive side but yet we don't want to live where there is nothing there and like i said before everywhere we were seemed to be very bad area's so i guess i'm asking if anyone can point us in a direction of what we need to survive? yes i did meet with a realtor and she was helpful but she couldn't help enough because she needed to know where we wanted to look for a house and that's what our problem is we couldn't find an nice area with inexpensive homes and stores close by and of course employment in the area too so once we can decide on a spot to live then we can look for homes in that area. ok i drug this on long enough so i hope i'm not boring anyone but i'm trying to give you a feel for our situation and i hope this helps. (look at me i'm asking you's if this help's and i'm the one looking for help) (lol) and thank's for everyone imput on this it sure is appreciated

Did you check out the little town of Clover, SC? It has relatively easy access to Gastonia, Rock Hill and parts of Charlotte for employment. The homes there are still affordable (under $200,000 in most places) and the high school has a good reputation. I just think your best places to look are going to in the periphery of the big cities like Charlotte, Raleigh or Wilmington (though I think Wilmington would be the most difficult to find a job in or afford housing around). Best of luck to you!

[Funnefam5]

Once again i want to say thanks for all your imput on this, i guess what seems to be the problem is i love the mountains and my daughter and her family love the shore so i was trying to find a happy inbetween but i guess thats where we were going wrong you see i want my daughter and my grandkids by me, i think i would be happy anywhere as long as i am with them, so being they really don't want to live by the mountains thats how we came to look in the area's we did and i wasn't happy with what i saw, so now my daughter is thinking about Fl and i really don't want to go there. I would like to take a trip back down and this time check out the other side (the mountains) and then if i don't like it then i guess i will look else where. Yes i do think i got caught up in how everyone painted the picture of NC but i guess everyone can dreams and hey maybe the other side is exactly what i want. but i don't want to give up with one bad trip so i will give it another shot, and as far as staying where we are well i don't think that is an option it is to expensive to live here anymore believe me i have cut every corner just to try and make it here. and just can't do it anymore. so we need to get out while we still can.

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by Funnefam5

Once again i want to say thanks for all your imput on this, i guess what seems to be the problem is i love the mountains and my daughter and her family love the shore so i was trying to find a happy inbetween but i guess thats where we were going wrong you see i want my daughter and my grandkids by me, i think i would be happy anywhere as long as i am with them, so being they really don't want to live by the mountains thats how we came to look in the area's we did and i wasn't happy with what i saw, so now my daughter is thinking about Fl and i really don't want to go there. I would like to take a trip back down and this time check out the other side (the mountains) and then if i don't like it then i guess i will look else where. Yes i do think i got caught up in how everyone painted the picture of NC but i guess everyone can dreams and hey maybe the other side is exactly what i want. but i don't want to give up with one bad trip so i will give it another shot, and as far as staying where we are well i don't think that is an option it is to expensive to live here anymore believe me i have cut every corner just to try and make it here. and just can't do it anymore. so we need to get out while we still can.

Well, by my name you know which area I would pick! But seriously, living near the beach anywhere in NC is very tough. First of all, it is the most expensive real estate of all, but just as important, jobs are hard to come by. Wilmington is the largest city at the coast and it's job market is not that great. It won't do you any good to chose a place to live if there are no jobs, or the housing is ridiculously expensive. You should probably investigate what parts of the state have the kinds of jobs ya'll would need and then let THAT guide you to where to live. To get a great little mountain community that would be relatively affordable to live in, with access to the two little cities for jobs, check out Taylorsville. You could see if there are jobs for what you do in either Hickory of Statesville. Then from there you could all drive to the beach for weekends - about 4 hours away

[Bill Hitchcock]

Depends on who you read:
Asheville is the most expensive in NC: http://www.nhc.org/index/policy-action-hi-eah-casenc (broken link)
Wilmington is the most expensive: http://www.nccoastalnews.com/forum/s...?p=149#post149

[friendnc]

Originally Posted by Funnefam5

Once again i want to say thanks for all your imput on this, i guess what seems to be the problem is i love the mountains and my daughter and her family love the shore so i was trying to find a happy inbetween but i guess thats where we were going wrong you see i want my daughter and my grandkids by me, i think i would be happy anywhere as long as i am with them, so being they really don't want to live by the mountains thats how we came to look in the area's we did and i wasn't happy with what i saw, so now my daughter is thinking about Fl and i really don't want to go there. I would like to take a trip back down and this time check out the other side (the mountains) and then if i don't like it then i guess i will look else where. Yes i do think i got caught up in how everyone painted the picture of NC but i guess everyone can dreams and hey maybe the other side is exactly what i want. but i don't want to give up with one bad trip so i will give it another shot, and as far as staying where we are well i don't think that is an option it is to expensive to live here anymore believe me i have cut every corner just to try and make it here. and just can't do it anymore. so we need to get out while we still can.

If you do choose NC in the end, the best metro areas to look, from what you're describing, would be Charlotte, Raleigh/Durham, and Greensboro/Winston Salem. They have the best job opportunities, nice 4-season climates, things to do, good schools, and about mid way from the mountains and ocean (especially CLT nad GWS). Focus in on those metros, visit them, find the one that best fits your needs/wants, and go from there. But like several posters have said, have reasonable expectations. As great as NC is, it's not perfect. No place is. Also, be SPECIFIC on hat you're looking for. You'll have better luck getting what you want and it'll be easier for us to help you out. Good luck!

[DUKE1989]

Funnefame5, North Carolina is not for everyone. Moving from one area to another is a huge event and one of life's important decisions. I think your approach of visiting your areas of interest by yourself and then with a realtor is the best method. This allows you to see the area from all sides and does not hinder your instinct or gut feeling for the area. NC has many nice areas to live and many that are nice to visit, but remember there are many areas throughout the US that provide the same opportunities as those found in the NC. Do not get caught up in the PR that is taking place with regards to this area. This area is not for everyone do not force yourself to conform to an area. Find an area that fits you and enjoy life.

[Richard Martin]

Originally Posted by Funnefam5

Ok now that i have had a day of rest after the long haul let me start by saying thank you for all your imput, like someone said everyone on here seems to be so nice and very helpful, as i wrote yesterday in all our travels we saw alot of (bad) area's they were all run down empty buildings, towns with nothing in them Rocky (Mount being the worst) and to get to a store it seemed like forever to find or a place to eat, this is why i wanted to know did we miss something and just drove right on past everything that matters?

Yes, I can say that you missed a lot. I've never been to a few of the places you looked in but I do know about Greenville. It sounds like you only saw the oldest part of Greenville and probably the section they're getting ready to Urban Renewalize. There is shopping a plenty with a new mall and another brand new shopping center going up where an old mall was. Almost every variety of car dealer, restaurant, store, Kohls, Kmart, Jos. A Banks, Target, Star Bucks etc.. is here. If you didn't see lots of new homes in every price range, plenty of new recreation facilites and all kinds of other amenities you were in the wrong part. We also have a very nice, walkable downtown with very few empty buildings and a nice park with a small pavilion right on the river. We have 2 movie theaters, one of them is newer and the other one is brand new and is the biggest theater I have ever seen.

Like others have said you may want to get ahold of a realtor in some of these areas and actually take a look at some of these towns. There's a lot more to most of them than you can see in a short time.

[NYer]

I was speaking with a 40- something woman who is single. She came here from overseas 10 years ago & must stay b/c of career considerations. She just hates Raleigh. This is not a mecca for single people of that age.

I am a mom- this is a wonderful family city. We love it.

But, I can see how she does not. This is not heaven, it is a place that may "everyone" is coming to... if "everyone" fits a certain demographic!