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Old 09-06-2009, 09:46 AM
3 posts, read 6,697 times
Reputation: 10


I am a bit of a newcomer here and to the south, and was wondering if there are any books ya'll can recommend to help me transition and understand culture/opposite sex here in the south!

Thanks so much,

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Old 09-06-2009, 10:46 AM
147 posts, read 413,901 times
Reputation: 306
If there was a book on it, #1 would be that people are basically the same everywhere you go. The regional differences are mostly just cosmetic.

Sounds like you are wrapped up in stereotypes and quick fixes. Charisma is charisma no matter where you go. Jerks are jerks no matter where you go.

I'm from NC. My wife's from Vermont. I didn't need a book.

ps. If you didn't grow up in a place where the term ya'll is used, don't use it. It is asinine.
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Old 09-06-2009, 02:06 PM
6,196 posts, read 14,236,954 times
Reputation: 4483
I'm from NY, husband's from NC.

Neither of us says "y'all." Usually.

The only difference I've seen is that sometimes Southerners don't say what they mean right off the bat. They may be "nice" and not really mean it. They may dance around a subject. Southerners believe saying "nice" things is being polite, even if they may be insincere.

Northerners are more straightforward. They are nice, but they usually aren't insincerely nice -- they see insincerity as a not-so-good thing.

That's the biggest difference in culture, and it's changing all the time. I think younger Southerners may be becoming more straightforward -- probably because everyone is now communicating in quicker ways (Internet, Twitter, etc.).

I saved you the price of a book. You're welcome.
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Old 09-06-2009, 09:11 PM
Location: The Queen City
444 posts, read 1,029,189 times
Reputation: 173
Please dont turn this into a flaming thread.
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Old 09-06-2009, 10:49 PM
358 posts, read 857,922 times
Reputation: 317
I don't think we're THAT different, haha.

Some of us may sound a li'l twangy when we speak and we prefer biscuits to bagels, but other than that, we're pretty much the same as y'all.
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Old 09-07-2009, 05:33 AM
22,769 posts, read 26,219,013 times
Reputation: 14558
If you're moving from Manhattan to a rural crossroads in NC, you should expect major differences.

In general, I would not expect much of a difference, especially if you're moving to anywhere near Charlotte or Raleigh.
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Old 09-07-2009, 07:06 AM
3,071 posts, read 7,822,146 times
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I'm guess maybe Nicholas Sparks books. He's from/lives in New Bern and most, if not all of his stories take place in NC. The Movies "The Notebook" and "Nights in Rodanthe" were both based on his books. I can't give a personal review on either b/c I don't read those books or watch chic flicks.
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Old 09-07-2009, 03:05 PM
201 posts, read 519,495 times
Reputation: 70
Just get out there and mingle with people. Observe what people like to do, eat and how they interact with you. I agree with someone else above that southerners tend to be nicer and beat around the bush a little but we can also tell you to go to heck with a smile!

Don't focus so much on what the opposite sex is like down here. Women are women and there are different types no matter the culture. Either you have chemistry with someone or you don't.

If you click with someone, they won't notice you are from the north and you won't notice where they are from. Heck, with all the transpants you may meet another yankee in the process anyway!
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Old 09-07-2009, 04:26 PM
3 posts, read 6,697 times
Reputation: 10
Thanks for all your help. Sorry about the ya'll it must have slipped out lol. You have all been very helpful in all of your ways. I am certainly not complaining, and dont feel like this is a flamer thread at all, in fact I am glad it is not. Basically you have all reinforced what I have been thinking/hearing from others anyway. I have made sure I have embraced the area and gotten out and mingled as much as possible to further engulf myself in the culture.
I will agree that I am a bit wrapped up in stereo types to an extent, but sometimes its how we identify with something at first that we do not know, as silly as it sounds. For me the women have been the biggest thing/difference for me. I am not originally from NY (Philly) but there seems to be nothing quite as bold, diverse, and full of charachter as NY women. I am 27 and have spent the last 11 years in NY right in the prime of my growing up/attempting to LOL understand women. Now the last thing I want to do is to bash women in this thread please believe that, but more importantly to discuss some of the tips or ways I can understand from a dating perspective (hence why I asked for a book reccomendation lol.)
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Old 09-07-2009, 06:44 PM
Location: Southeastern Cumberland County
983 posts, read 3,523,973 times
Reputation: 805
Chivalry is NOT dead in the South! Open the car door for her, help her on with her coat. Use your manners. And don't be afraid to treat her as a fragile woman. When I was dating, a man who didn't open the car door for me on the 1st date didn't get a 2nd one!
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