How do children refer to adults in NC? (restaurants, post office)

[KIMBERRRR]

In terms of behavior of your children in school, I wonder how you would all rate your kids? I am a teacher in CA (moving in late June to Wake Forest) and wondered, or rather, sincerely hoped, that high school students will be more respectful in NC. Anyone have input on that idea?

[clockwork]

This thread reminds me of last month when I visited my high school. I called two of my old teachers by their first names, and one commented as if he was (jokingly) offended. Yet, at Duke, most of my professors expect us to use their first names, although Duke undergrads seem to stick to Dr. or Prof. so-and-so.

[mcfamilyof4]

Originally Posted by North_Raleigh_Guy

I think it will pretty much vary just like everywhere else. I haven't heard anything different here than other places I have lived.



Not sure where in Virginia you are referring to, but I wouldn't say that is how everybody does it there. I lived in Blacksburg, VA for 4 years and Richmond, VA for 5 years don't ever recall people being referred to as Mr/Mrs. (First Name). I'm not saying that it isn't done there, just that I wouldn't say it is necessarily common to all parts of VA.

I grew up in Mechanicsville (outside richmond) and we were only allowed to use the LAST NAME (Mrs Smith). Even as an adult i feel weird calling my moms friends by their FIRST name...LOL. Old habits die hard. I teach my kids the same manners but i do notice that some of my friends tell my kids to call them "Miss Silvia" for example. But we are in the midwest (for a few more weeks anyway) and maybe thats how its done here.

[MikeJaquish]

Originally Posted by Buckhead_Broker

As a 12th generation Southerner, we were raised to call adults outside of our family by "Mr. Jones" or "Mrs. Smith" and aunts and uncles as "Aunt Mary" or "Uncle Jimmy". We have taught our 12 year old children to do the same. We were at a party this week and hearing children answer "yeah" instead of yes ma'am or yes sir is like hearing fingernails on a chalkboard!

This Contained And Relocated Yankee grew up knowing "Ma'am" and "Sir" were proper manners.
Still wield them today, and feel respectful doing so, and enjoy hearing a "Sir" now and then.
I worked with/reported to a very nice and very vocal southern lady and called her "Ma'am" one day.
She exclaimed, "Ma'am is my MOTHER!" I know I looked quite shocked, and started to mumble. She started to apologize and I said a quiet "Yes, Ma'am."
Then we cracked up laughing...

[Indigoblue]

Originally Posted by clockwork

This thread reminds me of last month when I visited my high school. I called two of my old teachers by their first names, and one commented as if he was (jokingly) offended. Yet, at Duke, most of my professors expect us to use their first names, although Duke undergrads seem to stick to Dr. or Prof. so-and-so.

I assumed grad students universally referred to professors by their first names. That's how ours was and I remember feeling so awkward initially.

A couple of my professors I worked closely with as an undergrad started signing their emails with their first names and I remember it freaked me out

[Indigoblue]

Originally Posted by MikeJaquish

This Contained And Relocated Yankee grew up knowing "Ma'am" and "Sir" were proper manners.
Still wield them today, and feel respectful doing so, and enjoy hearing a "Sir" now and then.
I worked with/reported to a very nice and very vocal southern lady and called her "Ma'am" one day.
She exclaimed, "Ma'am is my MOTHER!" I know I looked quite shocked, and started to mumble. She started to apologize and I said a quiet "Yes, Ma'am."
Then we cracked up laughing...

At what age do you start using Ma'am and Sir to people? I would have felt really weird for example if someone had called me Ma'am in my early 20's, and am still not fond of it at 30 Though noone ma'am's me when I don't have my children with me. Instead they card me

What I'm really enjoying is people (men/women) calling me love, honey, sweetie. Even strangers. It's SO sweet

[MikeJaquish]

Originally Posted by Indigoblue

At what age do you start using Ma'am and Sir to people? I would have felt really weird for example if someone had called me Ma'am in my early 20's, and am still not fond of it at 30 Though noone ma'am's me when I don't have my children with me. Instead they card me

What I'm really enjoying is people (men/women) calling me love, honey, sweetie. Even strangers. It's SO sweet

I just can't imagine asking someone their age for my convenience, and I'm generally comfortable extending a sincere gesture of respect...

Don't forget being called "Shooog." If they like you at the Toot and Tell, they'll call you "Sug," short for "Sugar," when you get a tea refill.

[Desdemona123]

Originally Posted by KIMBERRRR

In terms of behavior of your children in school, I wonder how you would all rate your kids? I am a teacher in CA (moving in late June to Wake Forest) and wondered, or rather, sincerely hoped, that high school students will be more respectful in NC. Anyone have input on that idea?

You are going to have nice kids and rotten kids....just like everywhere else.

[PDXmom]

Originally Posted by Indigoblue

The last name thing sounds very complicated :P I can barely remember my own friends' last names What do you do if someone has introduced themselves as Jane to you and you don't know their last name?

Here in Portland one of my good friends is from VA. She knew I was from NC when we first met. She asked me how I preferred her kids address me: first name or Miss first name or Mrs. Last Name. I was pregnant with my first child at the time. So I decided to use this as a parent too. It works.

I've met some older people in both the South and West Coast who prefer kids to call them by their first names. So I just ask.

And since you are new to the area, I bet people will LOVE you asking what they prefer!

[mm_mary73]

If I ask a child a question I expect to be answered respectfully, either "Yes, m'am" or "Yes, Mrs. Smith" and with some semblence of a complete sentence. It is very easy to teach children how to do this. Also, (this is a little off-topic) I am not "sweetie", "honey", or "hun" - it is demeaning and condescending. I am acutely aware of this, as a former waitress and currently, as a healthcare provider and as an instructor. Unless I give you permission, do not call me by my first name - I am not your friend, I do not know you, and it is presumptuous to assume that level of familiarity without first having permission to do so. Although we were about the same age, I would never have presumed to call my thesis advisor in graduate school by her first name without her first having said: "Please call me _____ ." It would have been very disrespectful on my part and most unprofessional.