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Old 05-11-2007, 07:39 AM
 
Location: Austin TX
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In Virginia, all adults were referred to as Ms. Jane and Mr. John (first names). Is that what's done in North Carolina as well? If so, are women all Ms. or do you differentiate between Ms. and Mrs.?

What about older people - do they get called by their last name? At what age do you transition if so?

Thanks
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Old 05-11-2007, 07:43 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
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I dont know about now, but when I was growing up in NC it was mandatory that I addressed elders as 'Sir' & 'Ma'am'

I will encourage my children to do the same.
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Old 05-11-2007, 07:46 AM
 
Location: Austin TX
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But what if your parents were referring to the adult? I'm used to saying for example - "little Johnny, say goodbye to Ms. Jane"

And what if you were to directly address an adult? Like you had to get their attention? Would you say, excuse me ma'am even if they were a family friend?
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Old 05-11-2007, 08:05 AM
 
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I think it will pretty much vary just like everywhere else. I haven't heard anything different here than other places I have lived.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Indigoblue View Post
In Virginia, all adults were referred to as Ms. Jane and Mr. John (first names). Is that what's done in North Carolina as well?
Not sure where in Virginia you are referring to, but I wouldn't say that is how everybody does it there. I lived in Blacksburg, VA for 4 years and Richmond, VA for 5 years don't ever recall people being referred to as Mr/Mrs. (First Name). I'm not saying that it isn't done there, just that I wouldn't say it is necessarily common to all parts of VA.
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Old 05-11-2007, 08:09 AM
 
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it was so refreshing to see how polite children were during out visit.
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Old 05-11-2007, 08:16 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Indigoblue View Post
But what if your parents were referring to the adult? I'm used to saying for example - "little Johnny, say goodbye to Ms. Jane"

And what if you were to directly address an adult? Like you had to get their attention? Would you say, excuse me ma'am even if they were a family friend?
Well for me growing up if you were an older family friend adult I called them auntie or uncle (first name) but this was for close family friends. My friends parents were mr and mrs (last name) and my teachers were always mr or mrs (last name, never first names).

Now my neighbor's children call me Mrs. (last name). My closest friends little children call me auntie (first name). My husband's friends (who have teenagers) call us by our first names (we gave them permission to do so).

I noticed my niece calls her teachers miss jane (well there not ALL jane like on King of the Hill but you get the idea
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Old 05-11-2007, 08:26 AM
 
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Most people I know from NC use "Ms. Jane". That is too familiar for me--it's just not formal enough for my taste. I grew up in a pretty formal family (English) in the NE, where everyone said "Mrs. Jones" and that is what I have my children do.

So in general, children call me "Ms. Nellie" and I'll say to my own children that they need to address the parents of the other children as "Mrs. Jones". I also require handshaking with my children, which people here don't seem to do much. They keep telling my kids "don't worry, just give me a high five" which is not helping teach proper manners imo, so I just say "actually, I'd like them to shake hands." My kids get complimented on their manners all the time, and no one seems to take offense at the greater formality, so it works out well.

The only thing I really don't like is when a child just calls me "Nellie," which I've had happen several times, in front of the parents. One child even started making fun of my name in front of the parents, and they just kind of smiled. That REALLY ticked me off (although I didn't say anything...maybe I should have!) My kids were stunned that a child would call me by my first name. Taht just didn't happen where I grew up...I don't know if it's just the people here or just that times have changed....

As for the age of the kids, to me it does not make a difference. My children will call them "Mrs. Jones" til they are off to college...then it's up to them. I STILL call my childhood friends' parents "Mrs. Jones" and I'm almost 40!
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Old 05-11-2007, 09:15 AM
 
Location: Blacksburg, VA
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I grew up with midwestern parents in NY and we called close family friends "Aunt" and "Uncle" first name. In Virginia, there was a lot of Ms. or Mr. first name. That is also what they use at my daughter's preschool here in PA.
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Old 05-11-2007, 10:31 AM
 
460 posts, read 2,232,442 times
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When I lived there the children called me Miss and my husband Mr and I was happy with that and the please and thank yous. Manners are so important and people are not teaching them as they should. Shaking my finger at some generalized people who shall remain nameless.
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Old 05-11-2007, 10:32 AM
 
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I try to use "sir" "maam" with my children. I do it alot myself because it's a habit now but I think it's a good habit.
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