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Had a long talk on the phone today with DSS. I explained what we've been doing and what's been happening. I asked if they had any authority to override the director of a facility, or to audit them to make sure that they are acting in compliance with state laws. They don't have that authority. I went over a few scenarios, and talked about how I think its time to draft a contingency plan. If no place will ever admit her, then we need to figure out a workable alternative. We ended the conversation with the idea that we'll probably have to look out-of-state for homes that will take her in. I've already looked into a top-notch facilty in Manhattan, but their pricing is rather steep and it's all private pay. I have some recommendations for two facilities in Minnesota that are supposed to be also top-rated and that do accept payment from Medicaid. Of course, she'd have to re-apply for Medicaid coverage for another state. Also, I don't know how it would work if I were to stay here where my job is.
Afterward I had a conversation with the attorney. He said that for his entire career doing Elderlaw planning that he's never seen a situation like this. He's as puzzled as I am since these facilities are not telling him either why the won't accept her as a patient.
I've started a new topic in the SC forum. Maybe someone there knows of a facility in that state that I can try. I have some recommendations for a couple of places in MN, but I'm not sure I'd want to place someone that far away from everyone.
I've started a new topic in the SC forum. Maybe someone there knows of a facility in that state that I can try. I have some recommendations for a couple of places in MN, but I'm not sure I'd want to place someone that far away from everyone.
K, have you looked at Virginia too?
Richmond, Roanoke and Virginia Beach might all have some options without being too far of a drive away.
I've started a new topic in the SC forum. Maybe someone there knows of a facility in that state that I can try. I have some recommendations for a couple of places in MN, but I'm not sure I'd want to place someone that far away from everyone.
Would Tennessee or Georgia be too far? Maybe post there also. Good luck! Your story is so heartbreaking.
K, my sister is a nurse practitionor working with the elderly in New York. I discussed your situation with her to get any advice that might help you.
She said even though you have a lawyer you have to remember he's just really able to help you with the financial end of things.
What she thinks you need is a "senior citizens advocate". Senior citizens are usually the demographic needing the kind of care your wife does and groups that help them should be able to help you. She suggested you start by just calling a senior center and seeing what resources they offer seniors who belong there, and then go thru the kind of channels they might be able to offer.
She said it also wouldn't hurt to show up at one of the nursing homes nearest to you and just ask to talk to the admissions director. Tell them your story and plead with them to tell you what you can specifically do that you haven't already done, to get your wife admitted. Become a face to them, not just a voice on the phone.
I hope now that she is actually eligible for medicare that you'll actually find a placement for her sooner than you think.
FWIW, A "Senior Citizens Advocate" in this area charges between $180 and $240 an hour. I don't know how many hours they would need to work, but it sounds as if it would get horribly expensive real quick. I just don't have those kinds of funds right now, especially since I'm trying to get back on my feet. I'm already close to $14,000 in out-of-pocket expenses this year, something that I just can't sustain.
FWIW, A "Senior Citizens Advocate" in this area charges between $180 and $240 an hour. I don't know how many hours they would need to work, but it sounds as if it would get horribly expensive real quick. I just don't have those kinds of funds right now, especially since I'm trying to get back on my feet. I'm already close to $14,000 in out-of-pocket expenses this year, something that I just can't sustain.
Most seniors don't have that kind of money either - surely there is someone you could find who works on a sliding scale? Just a thought...
Can you tell us what kind of place your wife is in now and why she can't stay there? I know you were caring for her yourself at one point, but I believe she's been somewhere for a while now?
I recently found out something I'd never heard before. When my mother-in-law was going through the exact same process for the exact same reason, even though he was a veteran, the VA wouldn't accept him. She had to write to a senator and he actually had to pull some strings and intervene and was able to force the VA to take him. Of course, I've already told the story about how the VA then turned around and placed a lein on their house and froze all of their joint assets and bank acounts.
Can you tell us what kind of place your wife is in now and why she can't stay there? I know you were caring for her yourself at one point, but I believe she's been somewhere for a while now?
She's in an Assisted Living home. She can't stay because I wasn't able to sustain paying close to $59,000 a year for her and yet retain some standard of living for myself. Because I can't be at work and also deal with bringing her to and from doctor's offices. Because having to constantly go out in the middle of the night to bring her to the ER, or to pick her up is taking it's toll on me mentally and physically. Because none of the equipment she really needs is covered under regular insurance or Medicare. Because I never get to take a day off. Because I never get to take a vacation or get away for any period of time.
And it's not just me. This is a comment from someone else I know in the area who's in basically the same circumstance, although he also has two children still living at home to deal with as well:
Quote:
Again, I think it's age related. According to the government, at least in our case, a housewife can't be "disabled" as she never "worked", so we're out of luck. I figured the other day that if I didn't have caregiving expense and insurance and medical costs, I'd be able to get by with what I make more or less. It's that other $50K a year, after tax money of course, that I can't come up with and nobody wants to help with.
One thing I'll be doing is cutting my insurance plan dramatically and then letting all direct payments go to collections where I can pay them off at 50%.
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